THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

CERF  LIBRARY 

PRESENTED  BY 

REBECCA  CERF  *O2 

IN  THE  NAMES  OF 

CHARLOTTE  CERF  '95 

MARCEL  E.  CERF  '97 

BARRY  CERF  '02 


allaite. 


BY  CHARLES  G.   LELAND 


row,  f  nlarjged  and 


PHILADELPHIA: 

T.    B.    PETERSOX    &    BROTHERS, 
306   CHESTNUT   STREET. 


Entered  accordiug  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1870,  by 
CHARLES  G.  LELAND, 

iu  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  United  States,  iu  and 
for  the  Eastern  District  of  Pennsylvania. 


L-  5-3-7 


PAOB 

HANS  BRETTMANN'S  PARTY,     ....  5 

BREITMANN  IN  BATTLE, 7 

BREITMANN  IN  MARYLAND,     ...  12 

BREITMANN  AS  A  BUMMER,  .  .  .  .  IT 
BREITMANN  IN  KANSAS,  ...  .22 
DIE  SCH(ENE  WITTWE.  (DE  POOTY  VIDDER.) 

VOT  DE  YANKEE  CHAP  SUNG,       .        .  20 

HOW  DER  BREITMANN  CUT  HIM  OUT,      .        .  27 

BREITMANN  AND  THE  TURNERS,      .        .  28 

BALLAD, 31 

HANS  BREITMANN'S  CHRISTMAS,       ...  33 

DER  FREISCIIUETZ, 41 

HANS  BREITMANN  ABOUT  TOWN,     .        .        .  47 

SCHNITZERL'S  PHILOSOPEDE — PARDT  FIRSDT,    .  53 

SCHNITZERL'S  PHILOSOPEDE — PARDT  SECONDT,  55 

A  BALLAD  APOUT  DE  ROWDIES,       .        .  G7 

WEIN  GETST, 69 

(3) 


HANS  BREITMANN  IN  POLITICS: 

I.  THE  NOMINATION, 72 

II.  THE  COMMITTEE  OF  INSTRUCTION,  .          .         75 

III.  MR.  TWINE  EXPLAINS  BEING  "SOUND  UPON 

THE  GOOSE," 78 

IV.  HOW  BREITMANN  AND  SCHMIT  WERE  RE 

PORTED  TO  BE  LOG-ROLLING,       .        .        83 
V.  HOW  THEY  HELD  THE  MASS  MEETING,    .         87 
VI.  BREITM ANN'S  GREAT  SPEECH,          .         .         89 
VII.  THE  AUTHOR  ASSERTS  THE  VAST  INTEL 
LECTUAL  SUPERIORITY  OF  GERMANS  TO 

AMERICANS, 95 

VIII.  SHOWING  HOW  MR.  HIRAM  TWINE  "  PLAYED 

OFF"  ON  SMITH,         .         .         .         .         98 
BREITMANN'S  GOING  TO  CHURCH,    .        .        .       107 

THE  FIRST   EDITION   OF  BREITMANN.       SHOWING 
HOW    AND   WHY   IT   WAS     THAT    IT    NEVER 

APPEARED, 121 

I   GILI   ROMANESKRO.       A  GIPSY  BALLAD,              .  132 

STEINLI  VON  SLANG.      A  BALLAD,     .            .            .  135 
TO   A   FRIEND  STUDYING    GERMAN,     .            .            .144 

LOVE    SONG, 147 

GLOSSARY,         .....                        .  149 


Hans  Breitmann's  Party. 


HANS  BREITMANN  gife  a  barty, 
Dey  had  biano-blayin ; 
I  felled  in  lofe  mit  a  Meriean  frau, 
Her  name  vas  Madilda  Yane. 
She  hat  haar  as  prown  ash  a  pretzel, 

Her  eyes  vas  himmel-plue, 
Und  ven  dey  looket  indo  mine, 
Dey  shplit  mine  heart  in  two. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty, 

I  vent  dere  you'll  pe  pound. 
I  valtzet  mit  Madilda  Yane 

Und  vent  shpinnen  round  und  round. 
De  pootiest  Fraeulein  in  de  House, 

She  vayed  'pout  dwo  hoondred  pound, 
Und  efery  dime  she  gife  a  shoomp 

She  make  de  vindows  sound. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty, 

I  dells  you  it  cost  him  dear. 
Dey  rolled  in  more  ash  sefen  kecks 

Of  foost-rate  Lager  Beer. 
Und  venefer  dey  knocks  de  shpicket  in 

De  Deutschers  gifes  a  cheer. 
I  dinks  dat  so  vine  a  barty, 

Nefer  coom  to  a  het  dis  year. 
(5) 


Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  baity  ; 

Dere  all  vas  Souse  und  Brouse, 
Yen  de  sooper  corned  in,  de  gompany 

Did  make  demselfs  to  house  ; 
Dey  ate  das  Brot  and  Gensy  broost, 

De  Bratwurst  and  Braten  fine, 
Und  vash  der  Abendessen  down 

Mit  four  parrels  of  Neckarwein. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty 

We  all  cot  troonk  ash  bigs. 
I  poot  mine  mout  to  a  parrel  of  bier 

Und  emptied  it  oop  mit  a  schwigs. 
Und  denn  I  gissed  Madilda  Yane 

Und  she  shlog  me  on  de  kop, 
Und  .de  gompany  fited  mit  daple-lecks 

Dill  de  coonshtable  made  oos  shtop. 

Hans  Breitmann  gife  a  barty — 

Where  ish  dat  barty  now  ! 
Where  ish  de  lofely  golden  cloud 

Dat  float  on  de  moundain's  prow  ? 
Where  ish  de  himmelstrahlende  Stern — 

De  shtar  of  de  shpirit's  light  ? 
All  goned  afay  mit  de  Lager  Beer — 

Afay  in  de  ewigkeit ! 


Ereitmann  in  Battle. 

iapfre  aosfttljrm  £tmtnm  tt  J&tiris  bigtmnt 
jjoium  wjagm  lobrnn." 


3DER  FADEB  TOD  DER  SON, 

I  dinks  I'll  go  a  fitin  —  outspoke  der  Breitemann, 
"  It's  eighdeen  hoonderd  fordy  eight  since  I  kits 
swordt  in  hand  ; 

Dese  fourdeen  years  mit  Hecker  all  roostin  I  haf  been, 
Boot    now    I    kicks    der    Teufel    oop    and    goes    for 
sailin  in." 

"  If  you  go  land  out-ridin,"  said  Caspar  Pickletongue, 
"  Foost  ding  you  knows  you  cooms  across  some  repels 

prave  and  young, 
Away  down   Sout'  in   Tixey,   dey'll  split  you  like   a 

clani"  — 
"  For   dat,"    spoke   out   der  Breitmann,  "  I  doos  not 

gare  one  tarn/*' 

AVho  der  Teufel  pe's  de  repels  und  vhere  dey  kits  deir 

sass, 
If  dey  make  a  run  on  Breitmann  he'll  soon  let  out  de 

gas; 

I'll  shplit  dem  like  kartoffels  :  I'll  slog  em  on  de  kop  ; 
I'll  set  de  plackguarts  roonin  so  dey  don't  know  vhere 

to  shtop." 

00 


8 

Und  den  outshpoke  der  Breitmann,  mit  his  schlaeger  py 

his  side  : 
"  Forvarts,  my  pully  landsmen  !  it's  dime  to  run  und 

ride ; 

Will  riden,  will  fighten — der  Copitain  I'll  pe,  [rie  I" 
It's  sporn  und  horn  und  saddle  now — all  in  de  Cavall- 

Und  ash  dey  rode  troo  Winchester,  so  herrlich  to  pe 

seen, 

Dere  coomed  some  repel  cavallrie  a 'riden  on  de  creen  ; 
Mit  a  sassy  repel  Dootchman — an  colonel  in  gommand  : 
Says  he,  "  Vot  Teufel  makes  you  here  in  dis  mein 

Faderland  ? 

"  You're  dressed  oop  like  a  shentleman  mit  your  plack- 

guard  Yankee  crew, 

You  mudsills  and  meganics  !  Der  Teufel  put  you  troo  ! 
Old  Yank  you  ought  to  shtay  at  home  und  dake  your 

liddle  horn, 
Mit  some  oldt  voomans  for  a  noorse" — der  Breitmann 

laugh  mit  shkorn. 

"  Und  should  I  trink  mein  lager-bier  und  roost  mine 
self  to  home  ?  [thoom  : 

Ife  got  too  many  dings  like  you  to  mash  beneat'  my 

In  many  a  fray  und  fierce  foray  dis  Deutschman  will  be 
feared  [his  peard." 

Pefore  he  stops  dis  vightin  trade — 'twas  dere  he  greyed 


"  I  pools  dat  peard  out  by  de  roots— I  gifes  him  sooch 
a  dwist  [tionist  ! 

Dill  all  de    plood  roons  out,  you    tamned   old  Apoli- 

Your  creenpacks  mit  your  swordt  und  watch  right  ofcr 
you  moost  shell,  [h-H  !" 

Und  den  you  goes  to  Libby  straight — und  after  dat  to 

"  Mein  creenpacks  und  mein  schlaeger,  I  kits  'em  in 
New  York,  [talk/7 

To  gife  dem  up  to  creenhorns,  young  man,  is  not  de    • 

De  heroes  shtopped  deir  sassin'  here  und  grossed  deir 
sabres  dwice, 

Und  de  vay  dese  Deutschers  vent  to  vork  vos  von  pig 
ding  on  ice. 

Der  younger  fetch  de  older  such  a  gottallmachty  smack 
Der  Breitmann  dinks  he  really  hears  his  skool  go  shplit 

und  crack ; 
Der  repel  choomps  dwelfe  paces  back,  und  so  he  safe 

his  life  : 
Der   Breitmann   says  :    "I   guess   dem   choomps   you 

learns  dem  of  your  vife." 

"If  I  should  learn  of  vomans  I  dinks  it  vere  a  shame, 
Bei  Gott  I  am  a  shentleman,  aristograt,  and  game. 
My  fader  vos  anoder — I  lose  him  fery  young — 
Tor  teufel  take  your  soul  !   Coom  on  !  I'll  split  your 
waggin'  tongue  I" 
2 


10 

A  Yankee  drick  der  Breitmann  dried — dat  oldt  gray- 
pearded  man —  [he  ran. 

For  ash  the  repel  raised  his  swordt,  beneat'  dat  sword t 

All  roundt  der  shlim  yoong  repel's  waist  his  arms  oldt 
Breitmann  pound, 

Und  shlinged  him  down  oopon  his  pack  und  laidt  him 
on  der  ground. 

"  Who  rubs  against  olt  kittle-pots  may  keep  vite — if  he 
can,  [man  ? 

Say  vot  you  dinks  of  vightin  now  mit  dis  old  shentle- 

Your  dime  is  oop;  you  got  to  die,  und  I  your  breest 
Till  pe  ; 

Peliev'st  dou  in  Moral  Ideas  ?  If  so  I  lets  you  free." 

"  I  don't  know  nix  apout  Ideas — no    more  dan  pout 

Saint  Paul, 

Since  I  peen  down  in  Tixey  I  kits  no  books  at  all  • 
I'm   greener  ash    do   clofer-grass ;    I'm   shtupid  as  a 

shpoon ; 
I'm  ignoranter  ash  de  nigs — for  dey  takes  de  Tribune. 

"  Mem  fader's  name  vas  Breitmann,  I  heard  mein  mut 
ter  say, 

She  read  de  bapers  dat  he  died  after  she  rooned  afay ; 
Dey  say  he   leaf  some  broperty — berhaps  'twas  all  a 

sell— 
If  I  could  lay  mein  hands  on  it  I  likes  it  mighty  well/' 


11 

"  Und  vas  dy  fader  Breitmann  ?  Bist  du  his  kit  und  kin  ? 
Denn  know dat  ich der  Breitmann  dein  lieber  Vater  bin?" 
Der  Breitmann  poolled  his  hand-shoe  off  und  shooked 

him  py  de  hand ; 
"  Ve'll  hafe  some  trinks  on  strengt  of  dis — or  else  may 

I  pe  tam'd  !" 

"  Oh  !   fader,  how  I  shlog   your   kop,"   der  younger 

Breitmann  said ; 
"  I'd  den  dimes  sooner  had  it  coom  right  down  on  mine 

own  headt !" 
"  Oh,  never  mind — dat  soon  dry  oop — I  shticks  him  mit 

a  blaster;  [der." 

If  I  had  shplit  you  like  a  fish,  dat  vere  an  vorse  tisas- 

Dis  fight  did  last  all  afternoon — wold  to  de  fesper  tide, 
Und  droo  de  streeds  of  Vinchesder,  der  Breitmann  he 

did  ride.  [tory  ! 

Vot  vears  der  Breitmann  on  his  hat  ?  De  ploom  of  fie- 
Who's  dat  aridin'  py  his  side  ?  "  Dis  here's  mein  son," 

says  he. 

How  stately  rode  der  Breitmann  oop  ! — how  lordly  he 
kit  down  ?  [prown  [ 

How  glorious  from  de  great  pokal  he  drink  de  bier  so 

But  der  Yunger  bick  der  parrel  oop  und  schwig  him 
all  at  one.  [mein  son  \" 

'-<  Bei  Gott !  dat  settles  all  dis  dings — I  know  dou  art 


12 

Der  one  has  got  a  fader  ;  de  oder  found  a  child. 

Bote  ride  oopon  one  war-path  now  in  pattle  fierce  und 
wild. 

It  makes  so  glad  our  hearts  to  hear  dat  dey  did  so  suc 
ceed — 

Und  dainit  hat  sein'  Ende  DES  JUNGEN  BREITMANN'S 
LIED. 


Breitmann  in  Maryland. 


DER  Breitmann  mit  his  gompany, 
Rode  out  in  Marylandt. 
"  Dere's  nichts  to  trink  in  dis  countrie; 
Mine  treat's  as  dry  as  sand. 
It's  light  canteen  und  haversack, 
It's  hoonger  mixed  mit  doorst; 
Und  if  we  had  some  lager-bier 
I'd  trink  oontil  I  boorst. 

Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 
We'd  trink  oontil  we  boorst. 


13 


u  Herr  Leut'nant,  take  a  dozen  men, 

Und  ride  dis  land  around  ! 
Herr  Feldwebel,  go  foragin' 

Dill  somedings  goot  is  found. 
Gotts-doonder  !  men,  go  ploonder! 

We  hafn't  trinked  a  bit 
Dis  fourdeen  hours !  If  I  had  bier 

I'd  sauf  oontil  I  shplit ! 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

"We'd  sauf  oontil  we  shplit !" 

At  mitternacht  a  horse's  hoofs 

Coom  rattlin'  troo  de  camp ; 
"  House  dere  ! — coom  rouse  der  house  dere  ! 

Herr  Copitain — we  moost  tromp  ! 
De  scouds  have  found  a  repel  town, 

Mit  repel  davern  near, 
A  repel  keller  in  de  cround, 

Mit  repel  lager  bier !  ! 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

All  fool  of  lager-bier  ! 

Gottsdonnerkreuzschockschwerenoth  I 

How  Breitmann  broked  de  bush  ! 
"  0  let  me  see  dat  lager  bier ! 
0  let  me  at  him  rush  ! 

Und  is  inein  sabre  sharp  und  true, 
Und  is  niein  war-horse  goot  ? 


14 

To  get  one  quart  of  lager  bier 
I'd  shpill  a  sea  of  ploot. 
Grling,  glang.  gloria  ! 
I'd  shpill  a  sea  of  ploot. 


"  Fuenf  hoonderd  repels  hold  de  down, 

One  hoonderd  strong  are  we  ; 
Who  gares  a  tarn  for  all  de  odds 

Wenn  men  so  dirsty  pe." 
And  in  dey  smashed  and  down  dey  crashed, 

Like  donder-polts  dey  fly, 
Hush  fort  as  der  wild  yaeger  cooms 

Mit  blitzen  troo  de  shky. 
Grling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

Like  blitzen  troo  de  shky. 

How  flewed  to  rite,  how  flewd  to  left 

De  moundains,  drees  Tint  hedge  ; 
How  left  und  rite  de  yseger  corps 

Went  donderin  troo  de  pridge. 
Und  splash  und  splosh  dey  ford  de  shtream 

Where  not  some  pridges  pe  : 
All  dripplin  in  de  moondlight  peam 

Stracks  went  de  cavallrie  ! 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 

Der  Breitmann's  cavallrie. 


15 


Und  hoory,  hoory  on  dey  rote, 

Oonheedin  vet  or  try  ; 
Und  horse  und  rider  shnort  und  blowed; 

Und  shparklin  bepples  fly. 
Ropp  !  ropp  !  I  shmell  de  barley-prew  ! 

Dere's  somedings  goot  ish  near. 
Ropp  !    Ropp  ! — I  scent  de  kneiperei ; 

We've  got  to  lager  bier  ! 
Gling,  glang  gloria  ! 

We've  got  to  lager  bier  ! 

Hei !  how  de  carpine  pullets  klinged 

Oopon  de  helmets  hart  ! 
Oh,  Breitmann — how  dy  sabre  ringed; 

Du  alter  Knasterbart  f 
De  contrapands  dey  sing  for  choy 

To  see  de  rebs  go  down, 
Und  hear  der  Breitmann  grimly  gry  : 

Hoorah  ! — we've  dook  de  down. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria ! 
Victoria,  victoria  ! 

De  Dootch  have  dook  de  down. 

Mid  shout  and  crash  and  sabre  flash, 

And  wild  husaren  shout 
De  Dootchmen  boorst  de  keller  in, 

Unt  rolled  de  lager  out ; 


16 

And  in  the  coorlin  powder  shmoke, 

While  shtill  de  pullets  sung. 
Dere  shtood  der  Breitmann,  axe  in  hand, 
A  knockin  out  de  boong. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria  ! 
Victoria  !  Encoria  ! 
De  shpicket  beats  de  boong. 

Gotts  !  vot  a  shpree  der  Breitmann  had 

While  yet  his  hand  was  red, 
A  trinkin  lager  from  his  poots 

Among  de  repel  tead. 
'Twas  dus  dey  went  at  mitternight 

Along  der  moundain  side  ; 
'Twas  dus  dey  help  make  history  ! 
Dis  was  der  Breitmann's  ride. 
Gling,  glang,  gloria ; 
Victoria  !  Victoria  ! 
Cer'visia,  encoria  ? 
De  treadful  mitnight  ride 
Of  Breitmann's  wild  Freischarlinger, 
All  famous,  broad,  und  wide. 


Breitmann  as  a  Bummer. 


DER  Shetieral  Sherman  holts  oop  on  his  coorse. 
He  shtops  at  de  gross-road  und  reins  in  his  horse . 
'•Dere's  a  ford  on  de  rifer  dis  day  we  moost  dake. 
Or  elshe  de  grand  army  in  bieces  shall  preak  !" 
Yen  shoost  ash  dis  vord  from,  his  lips  had  gone  bast, 

There  coomed  a  young  orterly  gallopin  fast, 
Who grymit amazement:  "Here  Shen'ral !  GootLord  ' 
Dat  bummer  der  JBreitmann  ish  lioldin  der  ford  !'' 

Der  Shen'ral  he  ootered  no  hymn  und  no  psalm, 

But  opened  his  lips  und  he  priefly  say  "  D n  ! 

Dere  moost  hafe  been  viskey  on  dat  side  der  rifer  • 

To  get  it  dose  shaps  would  set  hell  in  a  shiver, 
But  now  dat  dey  hold  it,  ride  quick  to  deir  aid  : 

Ho  Sickles  !  move  promp'ly,  send  down  a  prigade 
Dat  Dootchman  moost  work  mighty  hard  mit  his  sword 

If  againsd  a  whole  army  he  holds  to  de  ford." 

Dey  spoored  on,  dey  hoory'd  on,  gallopin  shtraight, 

But  for  Breitmann  help  coomed  shust  a  liddle  too  late, 
For  ash  de  Lauwine*  goes  smash  mit  her  pound, 

So  on  to  de  Bummers  de  repels  coom  down  : 
Heinrich  von  Schinkenstein's  lead  in  de  road, 

Dieterich  Hinkelbein's  flat  ash  a  toad  ; 
Und  Sepperl — Tyroler — shpoke  nefer  a  vord, 

But  shoost  "Mutter   Gottes !" — und  died  in  de  ford. 
3  (17) 


18 

Itsch'l  of  Innspruck  ish  drilled  troo  de  hair, 

Einer  aus  Bocblingen — lie  too  vash  dere — 
Karli  of  Karlisruh's  shot  near  de  fence, 

(His  horse  vash  o'erloadet  mit  toorkies  und  hens,) 
Und  dough  he  like  a  ravin  mad  cannibal  fought, 

Yet  der  Breitmann-der  capt'n-der  hero  vash  caught ; 
Und  de  last  dings  ve  saw,  he  was  tied  mit  a  cord, 

For  de  repels  had  goppled  him  oop  at  de  ford. 

Dey  shtripped  off  his  goat  und  skyugled  his  poots, 

Dey  dressed  him  mit  rags  of  a  repel  recruits ; 
But  von  grey-haared  oldt  veller  shmiled  crimly  und  bet 

Dat  Breitman  vouldt  pe  a  pad  egg  for  dem,  yet. 
"  lie  has  more  on  his  pipe  as  dem  vellers  allows ; 

He  has  cardts  yet  in  hand  und  das  Spiel  ist  nichtaus, 
Dey '11  find  dat  dey  took  in  der  teufel  to  board, 

De  day  dey  pooled  Breitmann  well  ofer  de  ford." 

In  de  Bowery  each  bier-haus  mit  crape  vas  oop-done, 

Yen  dey  read  in  de  bapers  dat  Breitmann  vas  gone ; 
Und  de  Dootch  all  cot  troonk  oopon  lager  und  wein, 

At  the  great  Trauer-fest  of  de  Toorner  Verein 
Derc  vas  wein-en  mit  weinen  ven  beoples  did  dink 

Dat  Sherman's  great  Sherman  cood  nefermore  trink. 
Und  in  Villiam  Shtreet  veepin  und  vailen  vas  hoor'd, 

Pecause  der  Hans  Breitmann  vas  lost  at  de  ford. 


SECONDT    PABDT, 

IJV  dulcejubilo  now  ve  all  sings, 
A-waivin  de  panners  like  avery  dings. 
De  preeze  troo  de  bine-drees  ish  cooler  und  salt, 
Und  der  Shen'ral  is  merry  venefer  ve  halt; 
Loosty  und  merry  he  schmells  at  de  preeze, 
Lustiy  und  heifer  he  looks  troo  de  drees, 
Lustig  und  lieiter  ash  veil  he  may  pe, 

For  Sherman,  at  last,  has  marched  down  to  the  sea  ! 

Dere's  a  gry  from  de  guart— dere's  a  clotter  und  drainp, 

Yen  dat  fery  same  orterly  rides  troo  de  camp, 
Who  report  on  de  ford.     Dere  ish  droples  and  awe 

In  de  face  of  de  youf '  apout  somedings  he  saw; 
Und  he  shpeak  me  in   Frasntsch,  like  he  always  do  : 
(l  Look  !  [his  spook  1 

Sayre  pleu  I  fentre   Tieu  ! — dere  ish  Breitmann — 
He  ish  goming  dis  way  !  Nom  de  garce  I  can  it  pe 

Dat  de  spooks  of  te  tead  men  coom  down  to  de  sea  !" 

Und  ve  looks,  und  ve  sees,  und  ve  tremples  mit  tread, 

For  risin'  all  swart  on  de  efenin  red 
Vas  Johannes — der  Breitmann — der  war  es,  bei  Gott ! 

Coom  ridin'to  oos-ward,  right  shtrait  to  de  shpot ! 
All  mouse-still  ve  shtood,  yet  mit  oop-shoompiu  hearts, 

For  he  look  shoost  so  pig  ash  de  shiant  of  de  Hartz ; 
Und  I  heard  de  Sout  Deutschers  say  "Ave  Morie  ! 

Braise  Gott  all  goot  shpirids  py  land  und  py  sea  !" 
(19) 


20 

Boot  Itzig  of  Frankfort  lie  lift  oop  his  nose, 

Und  be-mark  dat  de  shpook  hat  peen  changin  his 

clothes, 
For  he  seemed  like  an  Greneralissimus  drest 

In  a  vlamin  new  coat  and  magnificent  vest. 
Six  bistols  beschlagen  mit  silber  he  wore, 

Und  a  gold  mounted  swordt  like  an  Kaisar  he  bore, 
Und  ve  dinks  dat  de  ghosdt — or  votever  he  pe — 

Moost  hafe  proken  some  panks  on  his  vay  to  de  sea. 


"  Id  is  he  !"  "  Und  er  lelt  noch  !  he  lifes,"  ve  all  say  : 

Der   Breitmann— Oldt   Breitmann  !— Hans  Breit- 

mann  !  Ilerr  Je  !" 
Und  ve  roosh  to  emprace  him,  and  shtill  more  ve  find 

Dat  vherefer  he'd  peen,  he'd  left  noding  pehind. 
In  bote  of  his  poots  dere  vas  porte-moneys  crammed, 

Mit  creen-packs  stoof  full  all  his  haversack  jammed, 
In  his  bockets  cold  dollars  were  shinglin'  deir  doons 

Mit  two  doozen  votches  und  four  doozen  shpoons, 
Und  dwo  silber  tea-pods  for  makiii'  his  dea, 

Der  ghosdt  hafe  pring  mit  him,  en  route  to  de  sea. 

Mit  goot  sweed-botatoes,  und  doorkies,  und  rice, 
Ve  makes  him  a  sooper  of  avery  dings  nice. 

Und  de  bummers  hoont  roundt  apout,  aUe  wie  ein, 
Dill  dey  findt  a  plantaschion  mit  parrels  of  wein. 


21 

Den  t'vas  "  here's  to  you,  Breitmann  !  Alt  Schwcd' — 

List  zuruck  ? 
Yot  teufels  you  makes  since   dis  fourteen   nights 

week  ?" 

Und  ve  holds  von  shtupendous  und  derriple  shpree 
For  choy  dat  der  Breitmann  has  got  to  de  sea. 

But  in  fain  tid  ve  ashk  vhere  der  Breitmann  hat  peen, 
Vot  he  tid ;  vot  he  pass  troo — or  vot  he  might  seen  ? 

Yhere  he  kits  his  vine  horse,  or  who  gafe  him  dem 
woons, 

Und  how  Brovidence  plessed  him  mit  tea-pods  und 
shpoons  ? 

For  to  all  of  dem  queeries  he  only  reblies 

"  If  you  dells  me  no  quesdions,  I  ashks  you  no  lies  I" 

So  'twas  glear  dat  some  derriple  mysh'dry  moost  pe 
Vhere  he  kits  all  dat  ploonder  he  prings  to  de  sea. 

Dere  ish  bapers  in  Richmond  dells  derriple  lies 

How  Sherman's  grand  armee  hafe  raise  deir  sooplies  : 
For  ve  readt  in  brindt  dat  der  Sheneral  Grant 

Say  de  bummers  hafe  only  shoost  dake  vat  dey  vant. 
But  'tis  vhispered  dat  vhile  a  refolfer'll  go  round 

Der  BREITMANN  vill  nefer  a  peggin'  be  found; 
Or  shtarvin'  ash  brisner — by  doonder  ! — not  he, 

Vhile  der  teufel  could  help  him  to  ged  to  de  sea. 


Breitmann  in  Kansas. 

YONCE  oopon  a  dimes,  goot  vhile  afder  der  war 
vas  ofer,  der  Herr  Breitmann  vent  oud  West, 
drafellin    apout    like    afery    dings — "  circuivit 
terrain  et  perambulavit  earn,"  ash  der  Tyfel  said  ven 
dey  ask  him  :  "  how  vash  you  and  how  you  has  peen  ?" 
Yon   efenings   he    vas   drafel   mit  some    ladies  und 
shendlemans,  und  he  shtaid  iticognitus.  Und  dey  singed 
songs,  dill  py  und  py  one  of  de  ladies  say  :    '•  Ish  any 
podies  here  ash  know  de  crate  pallad  of  Hans  Breit- 
uiann's  Barty  ?"     Den  Hans  say  :     ll  Ecce    Gallus  I   I 
tun  dat  rooster  I"     Den  der  Hans  dook  a  trink  und  a 
let-bencil  und  a  biece  of  baper,  and  goes  indo  himself 
a  little  dimes  und  denn  coomes  out  again  mit  dis  boeui : 
Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

He  drafel  fast  und  far. 
He  rided  shoost  drei  dousand  miles 

All  in  von  rail-roat  car. 
He  knowed  foost  rate  how  far  he  goed— 

He  gounted  all  de  vile. 
Dere  vash  shoost  one  bottle  of  champagne, 

Dat  bopped  at  efery  mile. 
Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

I  dell  you  vot  my  poy. 
You  bet  dey  hat  a  pully  dimes 
In  crossin  Illinoy. 
(22) 


23 

Dey  speaked  dere  speaks  to  all  de  folk 

A  shtandin  in  de  car; 
Den  ask  deni  in  to  dake  a  trink, 

Und  corned  em  ganz  und  gar. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ; 

By  shings  !  dey  did  it  prown. 
Ven  he  cot  into  Leafenvort, 

He  found  himself  in  town. 
Dey  dined  him  at  de  Blanter's  House, 

More  goot  as  man  could  dink; 
Mit  avery  dings  on  eart  to  eat, 

Und  dwice  as  mooch  to  trink. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ; 

He  vent  it  on  de  loud. 
At  Ellsvort,  in  de  prairie  land, 

He  foundt  a  pully  crowd. 
He  looked  for  bleedin'  Kansas, 

But  dat's  "  blayed  out,"  dey  say ; 
De  whisky  keg's  de  only  dings 

Dat's  bleedin'  der  to-day. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas, 

To  see  vot  he  could  hear. 
He  foundt  soom  Deutschers  dat  exisdt 

Py  makin'  lager  bier. 


24 


Says  he:  "  Wie  gehts  du  Alt  Gesdl?" 

But  no  dings  could  be  heard } 
Dey'd  growed  so  fat  in  Kansas 

Dat  dey  couldn't  speak  a  vord. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  j 

Py  shings  !  I  dell  you  vot. 
Yon  day  he  met  a  crisly  bear 

Dat  rooshed  him  down,  bei  Gott ! 
Boot  der  Breitmann  took  und  bind  der  bear, 

Und  bleased  him  fery  much — 
For  efery  vordt  der  crisly  growled 

Vas  goot  Bavarian  Dutch  ! 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ! 

By  donder  dat  is  so  ! 
He  ridet  out  upon  de  plains 

To  shase-  de  boofalo. 
He  fired  his  rifle  at  the  bools, 

Und  gallop  troo  de  shmoke, 
Und  shoomp  de  canyons  shoost  as  if 

Der  tyfel  vas  a  choke  ! 

It's  hey  de  trail  to  Santa  Fe  j 

It's  ho  !   agross  de  plain. 
It's  lope  along  de  Denver  road, 

Until  we  toorn  again. 


25 

Und  de  railroad  dravel  after  us 

Apout  as  quick  as  we ; 
Dis  Kansas  ish  de  fastest  land 

Ash  efer  I  did  see. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas  ; 

He  have  a  pully  dime ; 
Bu  'tvas  in  oldt  Missouri 

Dat  dey  rooshed  him  up  sublime. 
Dey  took  him  to  der  Bilot  Nob, 

Und  all  der  nobs  around; 
Dey  spreed  him  und  dey  tea'd  him 

Dill*  dey  roon  him  to  de  ground. 

Hans  Breitmann  vent  to  Kansas ; 

Troo  all  dis  earthly  land, 
A  vorkin  out  life's  mission  here 

Soobyectifly  und  grand. 
Some  beoblesh  runs  de  beautiful, 

Some  works  philosophic; 
Der  Breitmann  solfe  de  infinide 

Ash  von  eternal  shpree  ! 
4 


Die  Schosne  Wittwe. 

(DE  POOTY  VIDDER.) 

Vot  de  Yankee  Chap  sung. 


DAT  pooty  liddle  vidder 
Yot  we  dosh'nt  vish  to  name, 
Ish  still  leben  on  dat  liddle  shtreet, 
A-doin'  shuss  de  same. 
De  glerks  aroundt  de  gorners 

Somedimes  goes  round  to  zee 
How  die  tarlin  liddle  vitchy  ees, 

Und  ask  'er  how  she  pe. 
Dey  lofes  her  ver'  goot  liqurer, 
Dey  lofes  her  liddle  shtore; 
Dey  lofes  her  liddle  paby, 

But  dey  lofes  die  vidder  more. 
To  dalk  mit  dat  shveet  vidder, 

Ven  she  hands  das  lager  round, 
Vill  make  der  shap  dat  does  id 

Pe  happy,  ve'll  be  pound. 
Dat  ish  if  ve  can  veil  pelieve 

De  glerks  vat  drinks  das  peer, 
Who  goes  in  dere  for  noding  elshe, 
Put  simply  for  to  zee  her." 
(26) 


27 

How  der  Breitmann  cut  him  out. 


On  yes  I  know  die  wittwe, 
Mit  eyes  so  prite  und  proun ! 
She's  de  allerschoenste  wittwe 

Vot  live  in  dis  here  town. 
In  her  plack  silk  gown — mine  grashious  ! 

All  puttoned  to  de  neck — 
Und  a  pooty  liddle  collar, 

Mitout  a  shpot  or  shpeck. 
Ho!  clear  de  drack  you  oderfraus — 

You  cant  pegin  to  shine 
Ven  de  lofely  vidder  cooras  along — 

Dis  vidder  ash  ish  mine! 
Ho  !  clear  de  drack  you  Yankee  chaps, 

You  Englishers  und  sooch. 
You  cant  pegin  to  coot  me  out, 

Mit  out  you  dalks  in  Dootch. 
Ich  hab  die  schoene  wittwe 

Schon  lange  nit  gesehn, 
Ich  sah  sie  gestern  Abend 

Wohl  bei  dem  Counter  stehn. 
Die  Wangen  rein  wie  Milch  und  Blut, 

Die  Augen  hell  und  klar. 
Ich  hab  sie  sechsmal  auch  gekusst — 

Potztausend !  das  ist  wahr. 


Breitmann  and  the  Turners. 

HANS  BREITMANN  choined  de  Turners 
Novemper  in  de  fall, 
Und  dey  gifed  a  boostin'  bender 
All  in  de  Toorner  Hall. 
Dere  cooined  de  whole  Gesangverein 

Mit  der  Liederlich  Aepfel  Chor, 
Und  dey  blowed  on  de  drooms  und  stroomed 

on  de  fifes 
Till  dey  couldn't  refife  no  more. 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de'Toorners, 

Dey  all  set  oop  some  shouts, 
Dey  took'd  him  into  deir  Toorner  Hall, 

Und  poots  him  a  course  of  shprouts, 
Dey  poots  him  on  de  barrell-hell  pars 

Und  shtands  him  oop  on  his  head, 
Und  dey  poomps  de  beer  mit  an  enchine  libse 

In  his  mout'  dill  he's  'pout  half 'tead  ! 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners ; — 

Dey  make  shimnastig  dricks 
He  stoot  on  de  middle  of  de  floor, 

Und  put  oop  a  fifdy-six. 
Und  den  he  trows  it  to  de  roof, 

Und  schwig  off  a  tread ful  trink  : 
De  veight  coom  toomple  pack  on  his  headt, 

Und  py  shinks  !  he  didn't  vink  ! 
(28) 


29 


Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners  : — 

Mein  Gott !  how  dey  drinked  und  shwore 
Dere  vas  Schwabians  und  Tyrolers, 

Und  Bavarians  by  de  score. 
Some  vellers  coomed  from  de  Rheinland, 

Und  Frankfort-on-de-Main; 
Boot  dere  vas  only  von  Sharman  dere, 

Uiid  he  vas  a  Ilolstein  Dane. 


Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners, 

Mit  a  Limpurg'  cheese  he  coom; 
Yen  he  open  de  box  it  schmell  so  louut 

It  knock  de  musik  doomb. 
Yen  de  Deutschers  kit  de  flavor, 

It  coorl  de  haar  on  dere  head ; 
Boot  dere  vas  dwo  Amerigans  dere ; 

Und,  py  tarn  !  it  kilt  dem  dead  I 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners ; 

De  ladies  coomed  in  to  see ; 
Dey  poot  dem  in  de  blace  for  de  gals, 

All  in  der  gal-lerie. 
Dey  ashk  :   "  Vhere  ish  der  Breitmann  ?" 

And  dey  dremple  mit  awe  and  fear 
Yen  dey  see  him  schwingen  py  de  toes, 

A  trinken  lager  bier. 


30 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners : — 

I  dells  you  vot  py  tarn  ! 
Dey  slogs  de  great  Urbummellied  : 

De  holy  Sharman  psalm. 
Und  ven  dey  kits  to  de  gorus 

You  ought  to  hear  dem  dramp  ! 
It  scared  der  Teufel  down  below 

To  hear  de  Dootchmen  stamp. 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners : — 

By  Donner  !  it  vas  grand, 
Vhen  de  whole  of  dem  goes  a  valkin' 

Und  dancin'  on  dere  hand, 
Mit  de  veet  all  wavin'  in  de  air, 

Gottstausend  !  vot  a  dricks  ! 
Dill  der  Breitmann  fall  und  dey  all  go  down 

Shoost  like  a  row  of  bricks. 

Hans  Breitmann  choined  de  Toorners, 

Dey  lay  dere  in  a  heap, 
And  slept  dill  de  early  sonnen  shine 

Come  in  at  de  window  creep ; 
And  de  preeze  it  vake  dem  from  deir  dream, 

And  dey  go  to  kit  deir  feed  : 
Here  hat'  dis  song  an  Ende — 

Das  ist  DES  BREITMANNSLIED. 


Ballad. 


D 


ER  noble  Hitter  Hugo 

Yon  Schwillensaufenstein, 
Rode  out  niit  shpeer  and  helmet, 
Und  he  coom  to  de  panks  of  de  Rhino. 


Und  oop  dere  rose  a  meer  maid, 
Vot  hadn't  got  nodings  on, 

Und  she  say,  "  Oh,  Ritter  Hugo, 
Vhere  you  goes  mit  yourself  alone  ?" 

And  he  says,  "  I  rides  in  de  creenwood 
Mit  helmet  und  niit  shpeer, 

Till  1  cooms  into  em  Gasthaus, 
Und  dere  I  trinks  some  beer." 

Und  den  outshpoke  de  maiden 
Vot  hadn't  got  nodings  on  : 
"  I  tont  dink  mooch  ol  beoplesh 
Dat  goes  mit  uemselfs  alone. 

"  You'd  petter  coom  down  in  de  wasser, 

Yere  deres  heaps  of  dings  to  see, 
Und  hafe  a  shplendid  tinner 
Und  drafel  along  mit  me. 

31) 


32 


"  Dere  you  sees  de  fisch  a  schwimmin, 

Und  you  catches  dem  efery  one  :" — 
So  sang  dis  wasser  maiden 
Vot  hadn't  got  nodings  on. 

"  Dere  ish  drunks  all  full  mit  money 

In  ships  dat  vent  down  of  old; 
Und  you  helpsh  yourself,  by  dunder  ! 
To  shimmerin  crowns  of  gold. 

"  Shoost  look  at  dese  shpoons  und  vatches! 

Shoost  see  dese  diamant  rings  ! 
Coom  down  und  full  your  bockets, 
Und  I'll  giss  you  like  avery  dings. 

u  Vot  you  vantsh  mit  your  schnapps  und  lager? 

Coom  down  into  der  Rhine  ! 
Der  ish  pottles  der  Kaiser  Charlemagne 
Vonce  filled  mit  gold-red  wine!" 

Dat  fetched  him — he  shtood  all  shpell  pound; 

She  pooled  his  coat-tails  down, 
She  drawed  him  oonder  der  wasser, 

De  maidens  mit  nodings  on. 


Hans  Breitmann's  Christmas. 


"ffsec  eat  ilia  bona  dies 
Et  vocata  Isetn  quies 
Vina  sitientibus. 


'Nullus  metus,  nee  labores, 
Nulla  cura,  nee  dolores, 
Sint  in  hoc  symposia." 


[De  Generibus  Ebriosorum,  Francoforti  ad  Mcenum,  A.  D.  1565.] 

ID  vas  on  Weihnachtsabend — vot  Ghristmas  Efe  dey 
call— 
Der  Breitmann  mit  his  Breitmen  tid  rent  de  Musik 

Hall ; 
Ash  de  Breitmen  und  die  vomen  who  were  in  de  Lie- 

derkranz 

Vouldt  plend  deir  souls  in  harmonic  to  have  a  bleasin 
tantz. 

Dey  reefed  de  Hall  'mid  pushes  so  nople  to  be  seen, 
Aroundt  Beethoven's  buster  dey  on-did  a  garlandt  creen; 
De  laties  vork  like  tyfels  two  days  to  scroob  de  vloor, 
Und  hanged  a  crate  serenity  mit  Willkomm  !  oop  de  toor ! 

Und  vhile  dere  vas  a  Schwein-blatt  whose  redakteur  tid 

say  : 

Dat  Breitmann  he  vas  liederlich  vet  antworded  dis  away, 
Ye  maked  anoder  serenity  mid  ledders  plue  und  red  : 
"  Our  Leader  lick  de  repels  !  N.  G-."  (enof  gesaid.) 

Und  anoder  serene   dransparency  ve   make   de  veller 

baint, 
Boot  de  vay  he  potch  und  vertyfeled  it  vas  enof  to 

shvear  a  saint, 

5  (33) 


34 

For  ve  vanted  La  G-ermania — boot  der  ardist  mit  a 

bloonder 
Vent  und  vlorished  Lager  agross  id — und  denn  poot 

Mania  oonder  ! 

Und  as  Ghristmas  Efe  was  gekommen  de  beoples  weren 

im  Hall, 
I  shvears  you  id  vas  Gott-full — dat  shplendit,  pe-glo- 

riedball? 
Ve  hat  foon  wie  der  Teufel  in  Frankreich — we  coot  oop 

like  ter  tyfel  in  France, 
Und  valk  pair-wise  in,  while  de  musik  blayed  loudt  de 

Fackel-Tanz. 

But  ven  de  valtz  shtrike  oopwart  we  most  went  out  of  fits, 
Ash  der  Breitmann  led  off  on  a  dwister  mid  de  lofely 

Helmina  Schmitz. 
He  valtz  shoost  like  he  vas  shtandin  shtill,  mit  a  peau- 

diful  solemn  shmile, 
Und  'Mina  say  he  nafer  shtop  poussiren  allaweil. 

"  Es  tcent,  es  rauschet  Saitenklang— I  hear  de  musik 
call 

Den  kerzenhellen   Saal  entlang— all  troo  de  gleamin 

Hall, 
0  moccht  ich  schweben  stolz  und  froh— 0  mighdt  I 

efer  pe 
Mit  dir  durchs  ganze  Leben  so !— my  Lebenlang  by  dee." 


35 

Und  faster  play  de  musik  de  Wellen  und  Wogcn  von 

Strauss ; 
Und  some  drop  into  de  tantzen  und  some  of  dem  drop 

aus; 

Und  soon  like  a  shtorm  in  de  Meere  I  feel  de  reelin  vloor, 
So  de  shpinners  shtop  mit  de  shpinsters,  for-dey  couldn't 

shpin  no  more. 

Now  weren  ve  all  frolic,  und  lauter  guter  ding, 

Und  dirsty  ash  a  broosh-pinder — ven  ve  hear  some 

glsesses  ring; 
Foorst  mild  und  sonft  in  de  distants — like  de  song  of  a        y« 

nightingoll, 
Den  a  ringin  und  rottlin  und  clotterin — ash  de  Gluck 

ofEdenhall? 

Hei !  how  we  roosh  on  de  liquor  ! — hei  I.how  de  kell- 

ners  coom  ! 
Hei !  how  we  busted  de  bier  kegs  und  poonished  de 

Punsch  a  la  Rhum, 
Like   lonely  wafes  at  mitternight  oopon  some  shiant 

shore ; 
Like  an   awful  shtorm  in  de  Waelder — was  de  dirsty 

Deutschers'  roar  ! 

I  pyed  some  carts  for  a  dime  abiece — I  pyed  shoost 

fifdy-dwo. 
Dey  were  goot  for  bier,  or  schnapps,  or  wein — py  don- 

der  how  dey  flew! 


36 

I  ring  de  deck  on  de  vaiters  for  liquor  hot  und  cool, 
Und  avery  dime  I  blays  a  cart,  py  shings,  I  rake  de 
pool ! 

Und  ash  ve  trinked  so  comforble,  like  boogs  in  any  roog, 
De  trompets  blowed  tan  da  ra  del,  und  dere  coom  in  a 

Maskenzug, 

A  peaudiful  brocession,  soul-raisin  und  sooplime, 
De  marrnorbilds  of  de  heroes  of  de  early  Sherman  dime. 

Dere  vent  der  gross  Arminius,  mit  his  frau  Thusnelda, 

too, 
De  vellers  ash  lam  de  Romans  dill  dey  roon  mit  noses 

plue, 
Den  vollowed  Quinctilius  Varus,  who  carry  a  Roman 

yoke, 
Und    arm-in-arm  mit  Gambrinus  come  der  Allemane 

Chroc. 

Der  alte  Friedrich  Rothbart,  und  Kaiser  Karl  der  crate, 
Mit  Roland  und  Uliverus  ven  shveepin  on  in  shtate  ; 
Und  Conradin  whose  s-ad-full   deat'  shtill   makes  our 

heartsen  pleed, 
Und  all  of  dem  oldt  vellers  aus  dern  Niblungen  .Lied. 

Und  as  dey  mofed  on,  der  Breitmann  maked  a  tyfeled 

shplendid  witz 
In   anti-word  to  dis    quesdion    from   de   lofely  'Mina 

Schmitz  : 


37 

"  Vy  ish  id  dey  always  makes  in  shtone  dcm  vellers  so 
andiquatet  ?" 

11  Vy — dey  set  in  de  laps  of  Ages  dill  dey  got  lapi 
dated  !" 

Und  shoost  ash  de  last  of  dis  hisdory  hat  fonished  troo 

de  toor, 
Ve  heardt  a  ge-screech,  und  Pelz  Nickel  coom  howlin 

on  de  vloor ; 
Den  de  laties  yell  like  der  tyfel,  und  vly  like  gulls  mit 

vings, 
Und  der  Peltz  Nickel   lick  em  mit  svitches   und  ve 

laughed  like  averydings. 

I  nefer  hafe  sooch  laughen  before  dat  I  was  geborn, 
Und  Pelz  Nickel  ven  'twas  ober  he  blow  on  a  yacger  horn 
Und  denounce  do  all  de  beople  gesembled  in  de  hall  : 
Dat  a  Ghristmas  dree  vas  vaiten  mit  bresents  for  oos  all  ! 

So  ve  vollowed  him  into  de  zimmer  so  quick  ash  dese 

vords  he  said, 

To  kit  dem  peaudiful  bresents,  all  gratis  und  on  de  dead, 
Und  in  facdt  a  shplendid  Weihnachtsbaum  mid   lighds 

ve  druly  found, 
Und  liddel  kifts  dat  ge-kostet  a  benny  abieceall  round! 

Dere  vas  Rika  Stange  die  Dessauerinn — a  maedchen 

shtraigdt  und  tall, 
She  got  a  bicture  of  Cupid — boot  she  didn't  see  it  at  all 


38 

Dill  der  Breitniann  say  mit  his  shplendid  shtylc  dat  all 

de  laties  dake : 
"  Dat  pend  of  de  bow  is  de  Grecian  pend  dat  you  so 

ofden  make !" 

Anoder  scharmante  laty,  Maria  Top,  did  got 
A  schwingin  mid  a  ribbon,  a  liddle  benny  pot; 
Boot  Breitmann  hafe  id  de  roughest  of  any  oder  mans3 
For  he  kit  a  yellow  gratle  mit  a  liddle  wooden  Hans. 

Den  next  Beethoven's  Sinfonie,  die  orkester  did  blay  ; 
Adagio — allegro — andante  cantabile. 
We  sat  in  shtill  commotion  so  dat  a  bin  mighdt  drops, 
Und  de   deers  roon  town  der  Breitmann's  sheeks  mit- 
whiles  he  was  trinkin  schnapps. 

Next  dings  ve  had  de  Weinnachtstraum  gesung  by  de 

Liederkranz. 
Denn  I  trinked  dwelf  schoppens  of  glee  wine  to  sed  me 

oop  for  a  tanz  • 
Dis  dimes  I  tanz  wle  der  Tyfel — we  shriek  de  volk  on 

de  vloor ; 
Und  boost  right  indo  de  sooper  room — for  ve  tanzt  a 

hole  troo  de  door  ! 

Denn  'twas  rowdy  tow  und  hop-sossa,  ve  hollered,  Mann 

und  Weib  ; 
"Rip  Sam  und  sed   her  oop   acain  ! — ve're  all  of   de 

Shackdaw  tribe  !" 


39 

Venn  Pelz  Nickel  blow  his  trump  once  more,  und  peg 

peg  oos  to  shtop  our  din, 
Und    troo    de    open    toor    dere    corned    nine    denpins 

marchin  in. 

t 

Nine  vellers  tressed  like  denpins — dey  goed  to  der  end' 
der  ball, 

Und  dwo  Hans  Wurst,  shack-puddin  glowns — dey  rolled 
at  em  mit  a  pall. 

De  palls  vas  painted  peaudiful ;  dey  vas  vifdeen  feet 
aroundt ; 

Und  de  rule  of  de  came  :  whoefer  cot  hidt  moost  doom- 
pie  on  de  croundt. 

Somedimes  dey  hit  de  denpins — somedimes   de   oder 

volk— 

Und  pooty  soon  de  gompany  was  all  laid  out  in  shoke ; 
Boot  I  tells  you  vot  it  makes  oos  laugh  dill  ve  py  nearly 

shplits, 
Yen  der  Breitmann  he  roll  ofer  and  drip  up  de  Mina 

Schmitz. 

Dis  lets  itself  in  Sherman  pe  foost-rade  word-blayed  on, 
Und  mongst  oos  be  giftet  vellers  you  pet  dat  it  vas  tone! 
How  der  Breitmann  mighdt  drafel  as  brideman  on  de 

roadt  dat  ish  breit  and  krumm; 
Here  de  drumpets  soundt,  and  pair-wise  ve  goed  for  de 

sooper  room. 


40 

Ye  goed  for  ge-roasted  Welsh-hens,  ve    goed  for  ge- 

spickter  hare, 

Ye  goed  for  kartoffel  salade  mit  butter  brod — Kaviar ; 
Ye  roosh  at  de  lordtly  sauer-kraut  und  de  wurst  vich 

*     lofely  shine, 
Und  oh  mem  Grott  in  Kimmel  !  how  we  goed  for  de 

Mosel-wein  ! 

Und  troonker  more,  und  troonker  yet,  und  troonker  shtill 

got  ve, 

In  rosy  lighdt  shtill  drivin  on  agross  a  fairy  see ; 
Den  madder,  wilder,  frantic-er  I  proked  a  salat  dish  ! 
Und  shoost  like  roarin  elefants  ve  tanzt  aroundt  de  tish. 

I'fe  shvimmed  in  heafenly  troonks  pefore — boot  nefer 

von  like  dis, 

De  morgen-het-ache  only  seemt  a  bortion  of  de  bliss. 
De  while  in  trilling  peauty  roundt  like  heafenly  vind- 

harps  rang 
A  goosh  of  golden   melodic  —  de  Rhine weinbechers 

Klang. 

De  meltin   minnesingers   song — a   droonk  of  honeyd 

rhyme — 

De  b'wildrin-dipsy  Bardic  shants  of  Teutoburgic  dime, 
Back   to  de  runic  dim  Yalhall   und   Balder's  foamin 

mead; 
Here  ents  in  heller  glorie  schein  des  Breitmann's 

Weihnachtslied  ! 


Der  Freischuets. 


WIE  geht's  my  frients — if  you'll  allow, 
I  sings  you  rite  avay  shoosfc  now 
Some  dretful  shdories  vitch  dey  calls 
DER  FREYSCHUETZ  ;  or,  de  Magic  Balls. 

Wolil  in  Bohemian  land  it  cooms, 
Where  folks  trinks  prandy  mate  of  p-luras ; 
Dere  lifed  ein  Yager — Maxerl  Schmit, 
Who  shot  mit  goons  and  nefer  hit. 

Und  dere  vas  one  old  Yager,  who 
Says,  "  Maxerl,  dis  vill  nefer  do ; 
If  you  should  miss  on  trial  day, 
Dere'l  pe  de  tyfel  den  to  pay. 

li  If  you  do  miss,  you  shtupid  goose, 
Dere'l  pe  de  donnerwetter  loose  ; 
For  you  shant  have  mine  taughter's  hand, 
Nor  pe  de  Hertshog's  yagersmann." 

It  coomed  pefore  de  day  was  set, 
Dat  all  de  chaps  togeder  met, 
Und  Maxerl  fired  his  bix  and  missed, 
Und  all  de  gals  cot  round  and  hissed. 

r,  (41) 


42 

Dey  laughed  pefore,  and  hissed  pehind ; 
Put  one  chap,  Kaspar,  set :  utont  mind! 
I  dells  you  what,  you  stuns  'em  alls, 
If  yoost  you  shoot  mit  magic  palls." 

"  De  magic  palls — oh  vot  is  dat !" 
"I  got  dern  in  mine  hoontin  hat ; 
De're  plack  as  kohl  und  shoot  so  true, 
Oh  dems  de  sort  of  palls  for  you. 

"  You  see  dat  eagle  flyin  high, 
Ein  hoondred  miles  up  in  de  sky  ? 
Shoot  at  dat  eagle  mit  your  bix, 
You  kills  him  dead  as  doonderblix." 

"  I  tont  pelieve  de  dings  you  say." 
"  You  fool,"  says  Kass,  "den  plaze  avay !" 
He  plazed  avay,  ven  sure  as  blood, 
Down  coomed  de  eagle  in  de  mud. 

"0  was  ist  das?"  said  Maxerl  Schmit, 

"  Vy — dat's  de  eas^e  vat  y°u  h^ 

You  kills  um.  vhen  you  plaze  avay ; 
But  dat's  a  ting  you  nix  ferstay. 

tl  Und  you  moost  go  to  make  dem  balls 
To  de  Wolf's  Glen  ven  mitnight  falls  • 
Dow  knowst  de  shpot? — alone  and  late" — 
"  0  ja — I  knows  him  ganz  foost-rate." 


43 

"  But  denn  I  does  not  likes  to  go 

Among  dem  dings."     Says  Kass,  "Ach  sho  I 

I'll  help  you  fix  dem  tyfel  chaps; 

Like  a  goot  fellow — take  some  schnapps  ! 

"(HilfZamiel!  liilf!} — Here,  trink  some  more !" 
Den  Kass  vent  shtomping  roundt  de  floor, 
Und  coomed  his  hoomboogs  ofer  Schmit, 
Till  Max  said  "Nun — ich  gehe  mit !" 

All  in  de  fluster  mitternockt, 
When  oder  folks  in  shleep  vas  locked, 
Down  in  de  Wolfssclilucht  Kass  did  try 
His  tyfel-strikes  und  Tiexerei. 

Mit  skools  and  pones  he  made  a  ring, 
De  howls  and  spooks  pegin  to  sing; 
Und  all  de  tyfels  oonter  ground 
Coome  breaking  loose  and  rushin  round. 

Den  Maxerl  cooms  along ;  says  he, 
';  Mein  G-ott !  what  dings  is  dis  I  see  ! 
I  dinks  de  fery  tyfel  und  all 
Moost  help  to  make  dem  magic  pall. 

"  I  vish  dat  I  had  nix  cum  rous, 
Und  shtaid  mineself  in  bett  to  house. "^ 
"Ililf  Zam iel  /"  cried  Kass,  uyou  whelp  ! 
You  red  Dootch  tyfel — coom  und  help  !" 


44 

Den  up  dere  coomed  a  tredful  slitonn, 
De  todtengrips  aroundt  did  schwarm ; 
De  howl  joomped  oop  und  flapt  his  vings, 
Und  turned  his  het  like  averydings. 

Up  troo  de  groundt  here  coomed  a  pot, 
Mit  leadt  und  dings  to  make  de  shot ; 
Und  hoellisch  fire  in  crimson  plaze, 
Und  awful  schmells  like  Schweitzer  kaes'. 

Across  de  scene  a  pine  shtiek  flew, 
Mit  seferal  jail-pirds  fastent  to, 
Six  treadful  jail-birds,  mit  deir  vings 
Tied  to  de  shticks  mit  magic  shtrings. 

All  troo  de  air.  all  in  a  row, 
Die  wilde  J<igd  was  seen  to  go ; 
De  hounts  und  deer  all  made  of  pone, 
Und  hoonted  by  a  skilleton. 

Dere  coomed  de  dretful  shpectre  pig 
Who  shpitten  fire,  away  did  dig; 
Und  fiery  drocks  und  tyfel-snake 
A  scootin  troo  de  air  tid  preak. 

But  Kass  he  tidn't  mind  dem  alls, 
But  casted  out  de  pullet  palls ; 
Six  was  to  go  as  dey  wouldt  like, 
De  sevent  moost  for  de  tyfel  strike. 


45 


At  last  oopon  de  trial  day 
De  gals  coomed  round  so  nice  and  gay  : 
Und  dena  dey  goes  and  makes  a  tanz 
Und  stinged  apout  de  Jungftrnkranz. 

Und  dena  der  Hertshog — dat's  de  Duke— 
Cooms  down  und  dinks  he'll  take  a  look ; 
••  Young  mans/'  to  Maxerl  dena  says  he, 
"  Shoost  shoot  dem  dove  upon  dat  dree  !" 

Denn  Maxerl  pointed  mit  de  bix — 

••  Potzblitz  !"  says  he,  <•  dat  dove  I'U  fix  PJ 

He  fired  his  rifle  at  de  Tcatb, 

When  Kass  rolled  over  in  de  Staub. 

De  pride  she  failed  too  in  de  dust. 
De  gals  dey  cried — de  men  dey  cussed  : 
De  Hertshog  says,  "It's  fery  clear 
Dat  dere  has  peen  some  tyfels  here ; 

ullnd  Max  has  shot  mit  tyfels-Wei. 
P-    ' ! — die  verfluchte  Hexer 

cimilian!      O  du 
Gthst  nil  mil  rechten  Dingen  zu  /" 

Bat  den  a  hermits  coomed  in  late, 
Says  he.  ••  I'll  fix  dese  dings  foost-rate." 
Und  telld  de  Hertshog  dat  young  men 
Will  raise  der  tyfel  now  and  denn^ 


46 

De  Duke  forgifed  de  Kaspar  dann 
Und  made  of  him  em  Yagersmann, 
What  shoots  mit  bixen  gua  and  pfeil, 
Und  talks  apout  de  Waidmannslieil. 

Und  denn  de  pride  she  coomed  to  life, 
Und  cot  to  pe  de  Maxerl's  wife  ; 
Den  all  de  beoples  cried  Hoorah  ! 
Das  ist  recht  brav  !  und  hopsasa  ! 


MORAL. 

Py  dis  dings  may  pe  oondershtood 
Dat  vhat  is  pad  vorks  ofden  goot : 
Or,  MaximiUa  Maximil- 
ibus  curantur — if 'you  will. 


Breitmann  about  Town. 


DER  Schwackenhammer  coom  to  down, 
Pefore  de  Fall  vas  past, 
Und  by  der  Breitmann  drawed  he  in 
Ash  dreirnals  honored  gast. 
Led's  see  de  sighdts  !     In  self  und  worldt,— 

Dere's  "  sighdts"  for  him,  to  see, 
Who  Selbstanschaungsvermregen  hat, 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  Opera  Haus, 

Und  dere  dey  vound  em  blayin'. 
Of  Offenbach,  (  der  open  brook,) 

His  show  spiel  Belle  Helene. 
"Dere's  Offenbach,— Sebastian  Bach, — 

Mit  Kaulbach,— dat  makes  dree  : 
I  alvayS  likes  soosh  brooks  ash  dese ." 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  Bibliothek, 
Vhich  Mishder  Astor  bilt : 
Some  pooks  vere  only  en  Iroschure, 

Und  some  vere  pound  und  gilt. 
"  Dat  makes  de  gold — dat  makes  de  sinn, 

Mit  pooks,  ash  men,  ve  see, 
De  pest  tressed  vellers  gilt  de  most  :" — 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 
(47) 


"48 

Dey  vent  to  see  an  edider, 

Who'd  shanged  his  flag  und  doon, 
Und  crowed  oopon  der  oder  side, 

Dat  very  afdernoon. 
De  anciends  vorshipped  wetter-cocks, 

To  wetter  fanes  pent  de  knee; 
Pow  down,  rnein  Schwackenhammer,  pow  I" 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vented  py  a  panker's  hause, 

Und  Schwackenhammer  shvore, 
Id  only  vant  a  pig  red  shield 

Hoong  oop  pefore  de  toor  ; 
One  side  of  red,  one  side  of  gold, 

Like  de  knighd's  in  hisdorie — 
"  De  schildern  of  dat  schild  is  rich," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  oonto  a  bicture  sale, 

Of  frames  wort'  many  a  cent, 
De  broberty  of  a  shendleman, 

Who  oonto  Europe  vent. 
"  Dont  gry — he'll  soon  pe  pack  again 

Mit  anoder  gallerie  : 
He  sells  dem  oud  dwelf  dimes  a  year/ 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


40 

Dey  vented  to  dis  berson's  house, 

To  see  his  furnidure, 
Sold  oud  at  aucdion  rite  afay, 

Berembdory  und  sure. 
"He  geeps  six  houses  all  at  vonce 

Each  veek  a  sale  dere  pe, 
Gotts  !  vat  a  dime  his  vife  moost  hafe  !"— 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vent  to  vind  a  goot  cigar, 

Long  dimes  dey  roamed  apout, 
Yon  veller  had  a  pran  new  sort, 

De  fery  latest  out. 
"  3Iein  freund — I  dinks  you  errs  yourself 

De  shmell  ish  oldt  to  me  ; 
De  Infamias  Stinlcadorcs  brand, "- 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  to  de  virst  hotel, 

De  prandy  make  dem  creep, 
A  trop  of  id's  enough  to  make 

A  brazen  monkey  veep. 
"  Dey  say  a  viner  house  ash  dis, 

Vill  soon  ge-bildet  pe, 
Crate  Gott ! — vot  can  dey  mean  to  trink  ?" 
Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 
7 


50 

Dey  vented  droo  de  Irish  shtreeds, 

Dey  saw  vrom  haus  to  haus, 
Und  gountet  oop,  '  pout  more  or  less, 

Vive  hoondred  awful  rows. 
"  If  all  dese  liddle  vights  dey  waste, 

Could  von  crate  pattle  pe, 
Gotts  !  how  de  Fenian  funds  vouldt  rise  !" 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vent  to  see  de  Ridualisds, 

Who  vorship  Gott  mitt  viewers, 
In  hobes  he'll  lofe  dem  pack  again, 

In  winter  among  de  showers. 
"Then  de  Pacific  railroat's  done 

Dis  dings  imbrofed  vill  pe, 
De  joss-sticks  vill  pe  santal  vood," — 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  to  hear  a  breecher  of 

De  last  sensadion  shtyle, 
'Twas  'nough  to  make  der  tyfel  weep 

To  see  his  "  awful  shmile." 
•''  Vot  bities  dat  der  Fechter  ne'er 

Yas  in  Theologie. 
Dey'd  make  him  pishop  in  dis  shoorsh/' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


51 

Dey  vent  indo  a  shpordin'  crib, 

De  rowdies  cloostered  dick, 
Dey  ashk  him  dell  dem  vot  o'glock, 

Und  dat  infernal  quick. 
Der  Breitmann  draw'd  his  'volver  oud, 

Ash  gool  ash  gool  couldt  pe, 
"  Id's  shoost  a  goin'  to  shdrike  six," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vent  polid'gal  meedins  next, 

Dey  hear  dem  rant  and  rail, 
Der  bresident  vas  a  forger, 

Shoost  bardoned  oud  of  jail. 
He  does  it  oud  of  cratitood, 

To  dem  who  set  him  vree  : 
"Id's  Harmonie  of  Inderesds," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vent  to  a  clairfoyand  witch, 

A  plack-eyed  handsome  maid, 
She  wahrsagt  all  der  vortunes — denn 

"  Fife  dollars,  gents  !"  she  said. 
uDese  vitches  are  nod  of  dis  eart', 

Und  yed  are  on  id,  I  see 
Der  Shakesbeare  knew  de  preed  right  veil/' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vented  to  a  restaurand, 

Der  vaiter  coot  a  dash  ; 
He  garfed  a  shicken  in  a  vink, 

TJnd  serfed  id  at  a  vlash.   fc 
"Dat  shap  knows  veil  shoost  how  to  coot, 

Und  roon  mit  poulteric, 
He  vas  copitain  oonder  Turchin  vonce," 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Dey  vented  to  de  Yoman's  Righds, 

Yere  laties  all  agrees, 
De  gals  should  pe  de  voters, 

Und  deir  beaux  all  de  votees. 
For  efery  man  dat  nefer  vorks, 

Yon  frau  should  vranchised  pe  : 
Dat  ish  de  vay  I  solf  dis  ding/' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 

Dey  vented  oop,  dey  vented  down, 

'Tvas  like  a  roarin'  rif'er, 
De  sighds  vas  here — de  sighds  vas  dere- 

Und  de  vorldt  vent  on  forefer. 
De  more  ve  trinks,  de  more  ve  sees, 

Dis  vorldt  a  derwisch  pe  ; 
Das  Werden's  all  von  whirling  droonk/' 

Said  Breitemann,  said  he. 


Schnitzel's  Philosopede. 

PAHDT    FIESDT. 


HERR  SCHNITZERL  make  a  philosopede, 
Yon  of  de  pullyest  kind; 
It  vent  mitout  a  vheel  in  front, 
And  hadn't  none  pehind. 
Von  vheel  vas  in  de  mittel,  dough, 

And  it  vent  as  sure  as  ecks, 
For  he  shtraddled  on  de  axle  dree 
Mit  de  vheel  petween  his  leeks. 

Und  ven  he  vant  to  shtart  id  off 

He  paddlet  mit  his  veet, 
Und  soon  he  cot  to  go  so  vast 

Dat  avery  dings  he  peat. 
He  run  her  out  on  Broader  shtreed, 

He  shkeeted  like  der  vind, 
Hei !  how  he  bassed  de  vancy  crabs, 

And  lef  dem  all  pehind ! 

De  vellers  mit  de  trottin  nags 

Pooled  oop  to  see  him  bass; 
De  Deutschers  all  erstaunished  saidt : 

"Potztausend  !      Was  ist  das  ?" 
Boot  vaster  shtill  der  Schnitzerl  flewed 

On — mit  a  gashtly  smile ; 
(53) 


54 

He  tidn't  tooch  de  dirt,  py  stings  ! 
Not  yonce  in  hal-f  a  mile. 

Oh,  vot  ish  all  dis  eartly  pliss  ? 

Oh,  vot  ish  man's  soocksess  ? 
Oh,  vot  ish  various  kinds  of  dings  ? 

Und  vot  ish  hobbiness  ? 
Ye  find  a  pank-node  in  de  shtreedt, 

Next  dings  der  pank  is  preak ; 
Ye  foils,  und  knocks  our  outsides  in, 

Yen  ve  a  ten  shtrike  make. 

So  vas  it  mit  der  Schnitzerlein 

On  his  philosopede. 
His  feet  both  shlipped  outsideward  shoost 

Yhen  at  his  extra  shpeed. 
He  felled  oopon  der  vheel  of  course; 

De  vheel  like  blitzen  flew  : 
Und  Schnitzerl  he  vas  schnitz  in  vact 

For  id  shlished  him  grod  in  two. 

Und  as  for  his  philosopede, 

Id  cot  so  shkared,  men  say, 
It  pounded  onward  till  it  vent 

Ganz  teufelwards  afay. 
Boot  vhere  ish  now  de  Schnitzerl's  soul? 

Yhere  dos  his  shbirit  pide  ? 
In  Himmel  troo  de  entless  plue, 

It  takes  a  medeor  ride. 


Schnitzerl's  Philosopede. 

FAULT   SECONDT, 


VEN  Breitmann  hear  dat  Schnitzerl 
Vas  quardered  into  dwo, 
Und  how  his  crate  philosopede 
To  'm  teufel  had  gone  flew; 
He  dinked  and  dinked  so  heafy 

As  only  Deutschers  can, 
Denn  saidt,  "  Who  raighdt  bclicfet 
Dis  ish  de  ent  of  man? 

"  De  human  souls  of  beoples 

Exisdt  in  deir  idees, 
Und  dis  of  Wolfram  Schnitzerl 

Mighdt  dravel  many  vays, 
In  his  Bestimmung  des  Menschen 

Der  Fichte  makes  peliefe 
Dat  ve  brogress  oon-endly 

In  vot  pehind  we  leafe. 

"  De  shbarrow  falls  ground-downwarts. 

Or  drafels  to  de  West; 
De  shbarrows  dat  coom  afder 

Bild  shoost  de  same  oldt  nest. 
Man  hat  not  rings  or  fedders, 
Und  in  oder  dings,  'tis  saidt, 
(55) 


56 

He  tont  coom  oop  to  shbarrows ; 
Boot  on  nests  he  goes  ahet. 

"  0  vilest  dou  troo  bornin  vorldts 

Und  nebuloser  foam, 
By  monsdrous  mitnight  shiant  forms 

Or  vhere  red  tyfels  roam, 
Or  vhere  de  chosts  of  shky  rackets 

Peyond  creadion  flee  ? 
Vhere'er  dou  art,  oh  Schnitzerlein  ! 

Crate  saint !  look  down  on  me  ! 

u  Und  deach  me  how  you  maket 

Dat  crate  philosopede, 
Vitch  roon  dwice  six  mals  vaster 

Ash  any  Arap  shteed, 
Und  deach  me  how  to  Astonish  folk 

Und  knock  dem  out  de  shpots. 
Come  pack  to  eart,  0  Schnitzerlein, 

Und  pring  it  down  to  dots  !" 

Shoost  ash  dis  vort  vent  outvarts 

Hans  dinked  he  see  a  vlash, 
Und  unterwards  de  dable 

He  doornple  mit  a  crash, 
Und  to  him,  moong  de  glaesses, 

Und  pottles  ash  vas  proke, 
Mit  his  het  in  a  cigar  box, 

An  foice  from  Himmel  shpoke  : 


57 

Adsum  Dotnine  Breitmann  ! 

Herr  Capitain — here  I  pe ! 
So  dell  me  right  Tioneste 

Quare  inquietasti  me  ? 
Te  video  inter  spoonibus, 

Et  largis  glassis  too, 
Cerevisia  repletis, 

Slcut  percussus  tonitru!" 


Derm  Breitmann  ansver  Schnitzerl : 

"  Coarctor  nimis. — See! 
Siquidem  Phili&tiim 

JPugnant  adversum  me. 
Ergo  vocavi  te, 

Ash  Saul  vocavit  Sam 
uel,  ut  mi  ostendcres 

Quid  teuMfaciam  ?" 

Denn  der  shpirit,  in  Lateinisch 

Saidt  "  Benc— dat's  de  dalk  ! 
Non  habes  in  hoc  shanty 

A  shingle  et  some  chalk  ? 
Non  video  inkum  et  calamos  : 

(I  shbose  some  bummer  shdole  'em) 
Levate  oculos  tuos,  son 

Et  aspice  ad  linteolum  /" 
8 


58 

Den  Breitmann  see  de  chalk-piece 

Vitch  riset  from  de  floor, 
Und  signet  a  philosopede 

Alone  oopon  de  toor, 
De  von  dat  Schnitzerl  fabricate, 

Und  oonderneat  he  see  : 
Probate  inter  equites : 

"  Try  dis  in  de  cavallrie." 

Den  Breitmann  shtoot  ooprightly 

Und  leanet  on  a  bost,  [peen 

Und  saidt ;  "  If  dis  couldt,  shouldt  hafe 

It  vouldt  mighdt  peen  a  chost ! 
Boot  if  it  pe  nouomenon, 

Phenomenoned  indeed, 
Or  de  soobyective  obyectified, 

Tfe  cot  de  philosopede." 

Denn  out  he  seekt  a  plack  schmidt 

Ash  vork  in  iron  shteel ; 
To  make  him  a  philosopede 

Mit  shoost  an  only  vheel. 
De  dings  vas  maket  simple, 

Ash  all  crate  idees  should  pe  ; 
For  'twas  noding  boot  a  gart  vheel 

Mit  a  two  veet  achsel-dree. 


59 

De  dimes  der  Breitmann  doomple 

In  learnin  for  to  ride, 
Yas  ofdener  ash  de  sand  grains 

Dat  rollen  in  de  tide. 
De  dimes  he  cot  oopsetted 

In  shdeerin  lefdt  und  righdt, 
Yas  ofdener  as  de  cleamin  shdars 

Dat  shtud  de  shky  py  nighdt. 

Boot  de  vorstest  of  de  veadures 

In  dis  von  vheel  horse,  you  bet, 
Ish  dat  man  couldt  go  so  nicely 

Pefore  he  got  oopset, 
Some  dimes  he  go  like  plazes 

Und  toorn  her,  extra-fein, 
Und  denn  shlop  ofer — dis  is  vhat 

Hafe  kill  der  Schnitzerlein. 


Soosh  droples  as  der  Breitmann  hafe 

To  make  dis  Vention  go, 
Yas  nefer  seen  py  mordal  man 

Oopon  dis  vorldt  pelow. 
He  doompled  righdt,  he  doompled  lefdt, 

He  hafe  a  tousand  toomps, 
Dere  nefer  vas  a  gricket-ball 

Yot  got  soosh  'fernal  boomps. 


60 


Boot  ash  he  shvear't  he'd  do  it, 

He  shvore  id  should  pe  done, 
Dough  he  schimpft  und  fluchte  laesterlich, 

He  visht  he'd  ne'er  pegun. 
ffi.it  Hagcll     Blitz!     Kreuzsakrament  ! 

He  maket  de  houser  ring, 
Und  hoped  de  Schnitzerl  pe  verdammt 

For  deachin  him  dis  ding. 

Nun — goot !     Ad  last  he  got  it. 

Und  peaudifool  he  goed, 
Dis  day,  saidt  he,  "  I'll  stonish  folk 

A  ridin  on  de  road  ; 
Dis  day  py  shinks  I'll  do  it  ! 

Und  knock  dings  out  of  sight !" 
Ach  weh  !  for  Breitmann  dat  day 

Vas  not  pe-markt  mit  vhite. 

De  noompers  of  de  Deutsche  folk 

Dat  coom  dis  feat  to  see, 
I  dink  in  soper  earnest-hood, 

Mighdt  not  ge-reckonet  pe. 
For  miles  dey  shtood  along  de  road, 

Mein  Grott  !  but  dey  vas  dry  ; 
Dey  trinked  den  lager-beer  shops  oop, 

Pefore  der  Hans  coom  py. 


Vhen  all  at  vonce  drementous  gries 

De  fery  country  shook  ; 
Und  beoples  shkreemt  :  "  Da  ist  er  !   Schau  ! 

Dere  ish  der  Breitmann  ! — Look  I" 
Mein  Gott  !  vas  efer  soosh  a  shoudt? 

Vas  efer  soosh  a  gry  ? 
Ven  like  a  brick-bat  in  a  vight, 

Der  Breitemann  roosh  py. 

0  mordal  man  !     Vy  ish  id,  dow 

Hast  passion  to  go  vast  ? 
Vy  ish  id  dat  de  tog  und  horse 

Likes  shbeed  too  quick  to  last  ? 
De  pugs,  de  pirds,  de  pumple-pees, 

Und  all  dat  ish,  'twould  seem, 
Ish  nefer  hoppy  boot,  exsept 

When  pilin  on  de  shteam. 

Der  Breitmann  flew  I     Yon  mighdy  gry, 

Ash  he  vent  scootin  bast, 
Von  derriple,  drementous  yell — 

Dat  day  de  virst — and  last. 
Vot  ha  !  vot  ho  !    Vy  ish  id  dus  ? 

Vot  makes  dem  shdare  aghast  ? 
Vy  cooms  dat  vail  of  wild  tespair  ? 

Ish  somedings  got  gesmasht  ? 


62 

Yea — efen  so.     Yea,  ferily — 

Shbeak,  soul  !     It  is  dy  biz  ! 
Der  Breitmann  shkeet  so  vast  along, 

Dey  fairly  heard  him  whizz. 
Ven  shoost  oopon  a  hill-top  point 

It  caught  a  pranch  ge-pent, 
Und  like  an  opple  vrom  a  svitch, 

Afay  Hans  Breitmann  vent. 


Vent  troo  de  air  a  hoondert  feet, 

(Allowin  more  or  less) — 
Denn  poll — poll — poll — a  mile  or  dwo? 

He  rollet  along — I  guess. 
Say — hast  dou  seen  a  gannon  ball 

Half  shpent,  shtill  poundin  on  j 
Like  made  of  gummi-lasticum  ? 

So  vent  der  Breitemann. 


Dey  bick  him  up — dey  pring  him  in — 

No  wort  der  Breitmann  shpoke. 
Der  doktor  look — he  shvear  erstaunt 

Dat  nodings  ish  peen  proke  ! 
He  rollet  de  rocky  road  entlong, 

He  pouncet  o'er  shtock  und  shtone  ? 
You'd  dink  he'd  knocked  his  outsides  in, 

Yet  nefer  preak  a  pone  ! 


63 

All  shtill  Hans  lay — bevilderfied — 

Nor  seemet  to  mind  de  snaps, 
Nor  moofed,  oontil  der  medieus 

Hafe  dose  him  veil  mit  schnapps. 
De  schmell  voke  oop  de  boetry 

Of  lays  ven  he  vas  young, 
Und  he  murmulte  de  frogmends 

Of  an  sad  romandic  song  : 


"  As  summer  pring  de  roses, 

Und  roses  pring  de  dew, 
So  Deutschland  gifes  de  maidens 

Vot  fetch  de  bier  to  you. 
Komrn  Maidlein  !     Rothe  Waenglein  ! 

Mit  a  wein  glass  in  your  paw  ! 
Ve'll  ged  troonk  amoong  de  roses 

Und  lie  soper  on  de  shdraw  ! 


"  As  winter  prings  de  ice-wind, 

Dat  plow  o'er  burg  und  hill, 
Hard  times  pring  in  de  lantlord, 

Und  de  lantlord  pring  de  bill. 
Boot  sing  Maidlein  !     Kothe  Waengelein  I 

Mit  wein  glass  in  your  paw  ! 
Ve'll  ged  troonk  amoong  de  roses 

Und  lie  sober  on  de  shdraw  I" 


Dey  dook  der  Breitruann  homewarts, 

Boot  efer  on  de  vay, 
He  nefer  shbeaket  no  man, 

Und  noding  else  could  say : 
Boot — "Maidlein — Rothe  Wasngelein  ! 

Mit  wein  glass  in  her  paw, 
We'll  ged  troonk  amoong  de  rosen 

Und  lie  soper  on  de  shdraw  \" 

Dey  laid  der  Hans  im  Bette, 

Peneat  de  eider-doun, 
Und  sempled  all  de  doktors 

Vot  doktored  in  de  town. 
Dat  ish,  de  Deutsche  Aertzte, 

ForBreitmann  alfays  says, 
De  Deutschers  ish  de  onlies 

Mit  originell  idees. 

Dere  vas  Doktor  Moritz  Schlinkenschlog, 

Dat  vork  ash  caf'6opath, 
Und  der  learned  Cobus  Schoepfskopf, 

Dat  use  de  inilchy  bath  ; 
Und  Korschalitschky  aus  Boehmen, 

Yot  cure  mit  slibovitz, 
Und  Wechselbalg  from  Berlin, 

Who  only  'tend  to  fits. 


65 

Dere  vas  Strobbich  aus  Westfalen 

Who  inofe  all  eart'ly  ills 
Mit  concentrirter  schinken  juice, 

Und  Pumpernickel  pills  ; 
Ilnd  a  bier-kur  man  from  Munich, 

Und  a  grape-curist  from  Rhein, 
Und  von  who  shkare  tisease  afay 

Mit  dose  of  Schlesier  wein. 


So  dey  meed  in  consooldation 

Mit  Doktor  Winkeleck, 
Who  brackdise  "renovation  " 

Mit  sauerkraut  und  speck. 
Und  dat  no  man  shouldt  pe  shlightet 

Or  treatet  ash  a  tunce, 
Dey  'greed  to  try  deir  systems 

Oopon  Breitmann  all  at  vonce. 

Dat  ish,  mit  de  excepdion, 

Of  gifin  Schlesier  wein  ; 
For  de  remedy  vas  danger-full 

On  von  who  trink  from  Ilhiue. 
Ash  der  teufel  once  declaret 

Yen  he  taste  it  on  a  shpree, 
Dat  a  man  to  trink  soosh  liquor 

Moost  a  born  Silesian  pe. 
9 


So  de  all  vent  los  at  Breitmann, 

Und  woonderfool  to  dell, 
He  coomed  to  his  gesundheit, 

Und  pooty  soon  cot  veil, 
Some  hinted  at  Natura 

Mit  de  oldt  vis  eanatrix, 
Boot  each  dokter  shvore  he  cured  him, 

Und  de  rest  were  Taugenix. 

I  know  not  vot  der  Breitmann 

More  newly  has  pegun, 
Boot  dey  say  he  dalks  day-daily 

Mit  Dana  of  de  Sun. 
Dey  dalk  in  Deutsch  togeder, 

Und  volk  say  de  ent  vill  pe 
Philosopedal  changes 

In  de  Union  cavallrie. 

Gott  help  de  howlin  safage  ! 

Gott  help  de  Indi-an  ! 
Shouldt  Breitmann  choin  his  forces 

MitSheneral  Sheridan. 
Und  denn  to  sing  his  braises 

Acain  I'll  gife  a  lied — 
Hier  hat  dis  dale  an  ende 

Of  Breitrnann's  philosopede. 


A  Ballad  apout  de  Rowdies. 

DE  moon  shines  ofer  de  cloudleus. 
Und  de  cloudts  plow  ofer  de  sea, 
Und  I  vent  to  Coney  Island, 
Und  I  took  mein  Schatz  mit  me. 
Mine  Schatz,  Katriua  Bauer, 

I  gife  her  mein  heart  und  vordt; 
Boot  ve  tidn't  know  vot  beoples 
De  Dampsschiffhafecot  on  poard. 

De  preeze  plowed  cool  und  bleasant, 

We  looket  at  de  town 
Mit  sonn-light  on  de  shdeebles, 

Und  wetter  fanes  doornin  round. 
Ye  sat  on  de  deck  in  a  gorner 

Und  dropled  nopody  dere, 
Yen  all  aroundt  oos  de  rowdies 

Peginned  to  plackguard  und  schvear  ! 

A  voman  mit  a  papy 

Yas  sittin  in  de  blace; 
Yon  tooket  a  chew  tobacco 

Und  trowed  it  indo  her  vace. 
De  voinan  got  coonvulshons, 

De  papy  pegin  to  gry  ; 
Und  de  rowdies  shkreemed  out  a  laffin, 

Und  saidt  dat  de  fun  vas  '•  high." 
(67) 


68 

Pirnepy  ve  become  some  hoonger 

Katrina  Baur  und  I, 
I  openet  de  lit  of  mine  pasket, 

Und  pringed  out  a  cherry  bie. 
A  cherry  kooken  mit  pretzels, 

"  How  goot !"  Katrina  said, 
Yen  a  rowdy  snatched  it  from  her, 

Und  preaked  it  ofer  mine  het. 

I  dells  him  he  pe  a  plackguart 

I  gifed  him  a  biece  my  mind, 
I  vouldt  saidt  it  pefore  a  tousand, 

Mit  der  teufel  himself  pehiud. 
Den  he  knocks  me  down  mit  a  sloong-shot, 

Und  peats  me  plack  and  plue  ; 
Und  all  de  plackguards  kick  me, 

.Dill  I  vainted,  und  dat  ish  drue. 


De  rich  American  beoples 

Don't  know  how  de  rowdies  shtrike 
Der  poor  hardt-workin  Sherman, 

He  knows  it  more  ash  he  like. 
If  de  Deutsche  speakers  und  bapers 

Are  sometimes  too  hard  on  dis  land, 
Shoost  dink  how  de  Deutsch  kit  driven 

Along  by  de  rowdy's  hand  ! 


I 


Wein  Geist. 


STOOMPLED  oud  ov  a  daf'ern, 

Berauscht  mit  a  gallon  of  wein, 
Und  I  rooshed  along  de  Strassen, 
Like  a  derriple  Eberschwein. 


Und  like  a  lordly  boar-big, 

I  doompled  de  soper  folk ; 
Und  I  trowed  a  shtone  droo  a  slidreed  lamp, 

Und  bot'  of  de  classes  I  proke. 

Und  a  gal  vent  roonin'  bast  me. 

Like  a  vild  coose  on  de  vings, 
Boot  I  gatch  her  for  all  her  skreechin, 

Und  giss  her  like  afery  dings. 

Und  denn  mit  an  board  und  a  shdore-box. 

I  blay  de  horse-viddle  a  biece. 
Dill  de  neighbours  shkreem  "  deat'  I"  und 
"  murder  !" 

Und  holler  aloudt  "bolice  ?" 

Und  vhen  der  crim  night  wsechter 
Says  all  of  dis  foon  moost  shtop, 

I  oop  mit  mem  oombrella, 
Und  schlog  him  ober  de  kop. 
(69) 


ro 


I  leaf  him  like  tead  on  de  bavemend, 
Und  roosh  droo  a  darklin'  lane. 

Dill  inoonlighd  und  tisdand  musik, 
Priug  me  roundt  to  my  soul  again. 

Und  I  sits  all  oonder  de  linden, 
De  hearts-leaf  linden  dree  ] 

Und  I  dink  of  de  quick  ge-vanisht  lofe 
Dat  vent  like  de  vind  from  me. 

Und  I  voonders  in  mine  dipsy  hood, 
If  a  damsel  or  dream  vas  she  ! 

Dis  life  ish  all  a  lindens 
,    Mit  holes  dat  show  de  Plue; 
Und  pedween  de  finite  pranches, 
Cooms  Hinimel  light  shinin  troo. 


Und  efery  leaf  ish  a  fay, 
Und  dey  vait  dill  de  "Windsbraut  comet, 
To  pear  dem  in  Fall  afay. 

Und  I  look  at  a  rock  py  de  rifer, 
Vhere  a  stein  ish  of  harpe  form. 

-Year  dausend  in,  oud,  it  shtandet — 
Und  nopody  blays  but  de  shtorm. 


71 

Here  vonce  on  a  dimes  a  vitches, 
Sooin  melodies  here  peginned, 

De  harpe  ward  all  zu  steine, 
Die  melodie  ward  zu  wind. 

"Und  so  mit  dis  tox-i-cation, 
Vitch  hardens  de  outer  Me  ; 

Uber  stein  and  scKwein,  de  weine, 
Shdill  harps  oud  a  melodie. 

Boot  deeper  de  Ur-lied  ringet, 
Ober  stein  und  wein  und  svines, 

Dill  it  endet  vhere  all  peginnet, 
Und  alles  wird  ewig  zu  eins, 

In  de  dipsy,  treamless  sloomper 
Yhich  units  de  Nichts  und  Seyns. 


Breitmann  in  Politics. 


I— The  Nomination, 


YHEN  ash  de  var  vas  ober, 
Und  Beace  her  shnow-wice  vings, 
Vas  vafin  o'er  de  coondry 
(In  shpods)  like  afery  dings; 
Und  heroes  vere  revardtet, 

De  beople  all  pegan 
To  say  'tvas  shame  dat  nodings 
Vas  done  for  Breitemann. 

No  man  wised  how  id  vas  shtartet, 

Or  where  der  fore  shlog  came, 
Boot  dey  shveared  it  vas  a  cinder, 

Dereto  a  purnin  shame  : 
"Dere  is  Schnitzerl  in  de  Gustom-House — 

Potzblitz  !  can  dis  dings  pe  ? — 
Und  Breitmann  he  hafe  nodings  : 

Vot  sights  is  dis  to  see  ! 

'•  Nod  de  virst  ret  cendt  for  Breitmann ! 

Ish  dis  do  pe  de  gry 
On  de  man  dat  sacked  de  repels 
Und  trinked  dem  high  und  dry  ? 

(72) 


By  meine  Seel'  I  shvears  id, 

Und  vot's  more  I  deglares  id's  drue, 

He  vonce  gleaned  out  a  down  in  half  an  oor, 
Und  shtripped  id  strumpf  und  shoe. 

"  He  was  shoost  like  Koenig  Etzel, 

Of  whom  de  shdory  dell, 
Der  Hun  who  go  for  de  Romans 

Und  gife  dem  shinin  hell, 
Only  dis  dat  dey  say  no  grass  vouldt  crow 

Vhere  Etzel's  horse  had  trot, 
Und  I  really  peliefe  vere  Breitmann  go 

De  hops  shpring  oop,  bei  Gott !" 

If  once  you  tie  a  dog  loose, 

Dere  ish  more  soon  gets  arount, 
Und  wenn  dis  vas  shtartedt  on  Breitmann 

It  was  rings  aroom  be-foundt ; 
I>ough  vliy  he  moos^Tiafe  somedings 

Vas  not  by  no  mean  glear, 
Xor  tid  id,  like  Paulus'  confersion, 

On  de  snap  to  all  abbear ! 

Und,  in  facdt,  Balthazar  Bumchen 
Saidt  he  couldtent  nicht  blainly  see 

Vy  a  veller  for  gadderin  riches 
Shood  dus  revartedt  pe  : 
10 


74 

Der  Breitmann  own  drei  Houser. 

Mit  a  wein-handle  in  a  stohr. 
Dazu  ein  Lager- Wirthschaft, 

Und  sonst  was — somedings  more. 

Dis  plasted  plackguard  none-sense 

Ye  couldn't  no  means  shtand, 
From  a  narrow-mineted  shvine's  kopf, 

Of  our  nople  captain  grand  : 
Soosh  low,  goarse,  betty  bornirtheit 

A  shentleman  deplores ; 
So  ve  called  him  verfluchter  Hundsfott 

Und  shmysed  him  out  of  toors. 

So  ve  all  dissolfed  dat  Breitmann 

Shouldt  hafe  a  nomination 
To  go  to  de  Legisladoor, 

To  make  some  dings  off  de  nation  ; 
Mit  de  helb  of  a  Connedigut  man, 

In  whom  ve  hafe  great  hobes, 
Who  hat  shange  his  boledics  fivdeen  dimes, 

Und  derefore  knew  de  robes. 


II— The  Committee  of  Instruction. 


DENN  for  our  Insdructions  Comedy 
De  ding  vas  protocollirt, 
By  Docktor  Emsig  Grubler, 
Who  in  Jena  vonce  studiret ; 
Und  for  Brcitmann  his  instrugtions 

De  Comedy  tid  say 
Dat  de  All  out-going  from  de  Ones 
Vash  die  first  Moral  Idee. 

Und  de  segondt  crate  Moral  Idee 

Dat  into  him  ve  rings, 
Vas  dat  government  for  avery  man 

Moost  alfays  do  avery  dings  j 
Und  die  next  Idee  do  vitch  his  mindt 

Esbecially  ve  gall, 
Ish  to  do  mitout  a  Bresident 

Und  no  government  at  all. 

Und  die  fourt  Idee  ve  vish  der  Hans 

Vouldt  alfays  keeb  in  new, 
Tsh  to  cooldifate  die  Peaudifool, 

Likewise  de  Goot  and  Drue ; 
Und  de  form  of  dis  oopright-hood 

In  proctise  to  present, 
He  most  get  our  little  pills  all  bassed 

Mitout  id's  gostin  a  cent. 
(75) 


Und  die  fift'  Idee — ash  learnin 

Ish  de  cratest  ding  on  eart, 
And  ash  Shoopider  der  Vater 

To  Minerfa  gife  ge-birt' — 
Ye  peg  dat  Breitmann  oonto  oos 

All  pooblic  tockuments 
Yich  he  can  grap  or  shteal  vill  sendt — 

Franked — mit  his  gompliments. 

Die  sechste  crate  Moral  Idee  — 

Since  id  fery  veil  ish  known 
Dat  mind  ish  de  resooldt  of  food, 

Ash  der  Moleschott  has  shown, 
Und  ash  mind  ish  de  highest  form  of  Gott, 

As  in  Fichte  dot'  abbear — 
He  moost  alfays  go  mit  de  barty 

Dat  go  for  lager-bier. 

Now  ash  all  dese  instrugdions 

Yere  showed  to  Misder  Twine, 
De  Yangee  boledician, 

He  say  dey  vere  fery  fine  : 
Dey  vere  pesser  ash  goot,  und  almosdt  nice — 

A  tarnal  tall  concern  ; — 
Boot  dey  hafe  some  little  trawpacks, 

Und  in  fagdt  weren't  worth  a  dern 


77 


Boot  yed,  init  our  bermissiou, 

If  de  shentleinans  allow — 
Here  all  der  Shermans  in  de  room 

Dake  off  deir  hats  und  pow — 
lie  vouldt  gife  our  honored  gandidate 

Some  nodions  of  his  own, 
Hafing  managed  some  elecdions 

Mit  sookcess,  as  veil  vas  known. 

Let  him  plow  id  all  his  own  vay, 
He'd  pet  as  sure  as  born, 

])at  our  mann  vouldt  not  coom  out  of 
Der  liddle  endt  der  horn, 

Mit  his  gootproac?  Sherman  shoulders- 
Pis  maket  oos  laugh,  py  shink  ! 

So  de  comedy  shtart  for  Breitmann's — 
Not  a  bene — afder  a  trink  I 


Ill— Mr.  Twine  Explains  Being  "  Sound 
Upon  the  Goose." 


DERE  in  his  crate  corved  oaken  shtuhl 
Der  Breitmann  sot  lie  : 
He  lookt  slioost  like  de  shiant 
In  de  Kinder  hishdorie  ; 
Und  pefore  him,  on  de  tische, 

Yas — vhere  man  alfays  foundt  it — 
Dwelf  inches  of  goot  lage*, 

31it  a  Boemisch  glass  aroundt  it. 

De  foorst  vordt  dat  der  Breitmann  spoke. 

He  maked  no  sbeech  or  sign  : 
De  next  remark  vas,  "  Zapfet  aus  /" — 

De  dird  vas,  "  Schenket  ein  !" 
Yhen  in  coomed  liddle  Gottlieb 

Und  Trina  mit  a  shtock 
Of  allerbest  Markgraefler  wein — 

Dazu  dwelf  glaeser  Bock. 

Denn  Misder  Twine  deglare  dat  he 

Yas  happy  to  denounce 
Dat  as  Copdain  Breitmann  smited  oos 

Egsockdly  do  an  ounce, 

(78) 


79 

He  vas  ged  de  nomination, 

And  need  nod  more  eckshblain : 

Der  Breitmann  dink  in  silence, 

And  denii  roar  aloudt,  CHAMPAGNE  ! 

Den  Mishder  Twine,  while  trinken  weiii, 

Mitwhiles  vent  on  do  say, 
Dat  long  insdruckdions  in  dis  age 

Vere  nod  de  dime  of  tay  • 
Und  de  only  ding  der  Breitmann  need 

To  pe  of  any  use 
Vas  shoost  to  dell  to  afery  mans 

He's  soundt  oopon  der  coosc. 

Und  ash  dis  little  frase  berhops 

Vas  nod  do  oos  bekannt, 
He  dakes  de  liberdy  do  make 

Dat  ve  shall  oondershtand, 
And  vouldt  tell  a  liddle  shdory 

Vitch  dock  blace  pefore  de  wars  : 
Here  der  Breitmann  nod  to  Trina, 

Und  she  bass  aroundt  cigars. 

•'  Id  ish  a  longe  dime,  now  here, 

In  Bennsylvanien's  Shtate, 

All  in  der  down  of  Horrisburg 

Dere  rosed  a  vierce  depate, 


80 


'Tween  vamilies  mit  cooses, 

Und  dose  vhere  none  vere  foundt- 
If  cooses  might,  by  common  law, 

G-o  squanderin  aroundt  ? 

Dose  who  vere  nod  pe-gifted 

Mit  gooses,  und  vere  poor, 
All  shvear  de  law  forbid  dis  crime, 

Py  shings  and  cerdain  sure  ; 
But  de  coose-holders  teklare  a  coose 

Greadt  liberty  tid  need, 
And  to  pen  dem  oop  vas  gruel, 

Und  a  mosdt  oon-Christian  teed. 

Und  denn  anoder  party 

Idself  tid  soon  refeal, 
Of  arisdograts  who  kepd  no  coose, 

Pecause  'twas  not  shendeel  : 
Tey  tid  not  vish  de  splodderin  geese 

Shouldt  on  deir  pafemends  bass, 
So  dey  shoined  de  anti-coosers, 

Or  de  oonder  lower  glass  !" 

Here  Breitmann  led  his  shdeani  out: 
"  Dis  shdory  goes  to  show 

Dat  in  poledicks,  ash  lager, 
Virtus  in  medio. 


81 

De  drecks  ish  ad  de  pottom — 
De  skooni  floads  high  inteed  ; 

Boot  das  bier  ish  in  de  mittle, 
Says  an  goot  old  Sherman  lied. 

"  Und  shoost  apout  elegdion-dimes 

De  scoom  und  drecks,  ve  see, 
Have  a  pully  Wahl-verwandtschaft, 

Or  election-sympathie." 
"  Dis  is  very  vine,"  says  Misder  Twine, 

"  Yot  here  you  indroduce  : 
Mit  your  bermission,  I'll  grack  on 
Mit  my  shdory  of  de  coose. 

"  A  gandertate  for  sheriff 

De  coose-beholders  run, 
Who  shvear  de  coose  de  noblest  dings 

Yot  valk  peneat  de  sun  ; 
For  de  cooses  safe  de  Capidol 

In  Rome  long  dimes  ago, 
Und  Horrisburg  need  safin 

Mighty  pad,  ash  all  do  know. 

"  Acainsd  dis  mighdy  Goose-man 

Anoder  veller  rose, 

Who  keepedt  himself  ungommon  shtill 
Yen  oders  came  to  plows ; 


82 


Und  if  any  ask  how  'twas  he  shtoodt, 
His  vriends  wouldt  virik  so  loose, 

Und  visper  ash  dey  dapped  deir  nose 
'  He's  soundt  oopon  de  coose  ! 

"  l  He's  0.  K.  oopon  de  soobject; 

Shoost  pet  your  pile  on  dat ; 
On  dis  bartik'ler  qtiesdion 

He  intends  to  coot  it  fat/ 
So  de  veller  cot  elegded 

Pefore  de  beople  foundt 
On  vitch  site  of  der  coose  it  vas 

He  shtick  so  awful  soundt. 

"  Dis  shdory's  all  I  hafe  to  dell," 

Says  Misder  Hiram  Twine ; 
"  Und  I  advise  Herr  Breitmann 

Shoost  to  vight  id  on  dis  line." 
De  volk  who  of  dese  boledics 
Woiild  oder  chapters  read, 
Moost  waiten  for  de  segondt  pardt 
Of  dis  here  Breitraann's  Lied. 


IV,— How  Breitmann  and  Schmit  v;cre  Reported 
to  be  Log-Roiling, 

ID  happenet  in  de  yar  of  crace. 
Ven  all  dese  dings  pegan, 
Dat  Mishder  Schmit,  de  shap  who  rooncd 
Acainsd  der  Breitemann, 

Yas  a  man  who  look  like  Mishder  Twine 
So  moosh  dat  beoples  say 

Dey  pliefe  dey  nioost  ge-brudert  pe — 
Grott  weiss  in  vot  a  vay  ! 

Und  id  vas  also  moosh  be-marked — 

Vitch  look  shoost  like  a  bruder — 
Dat  ven  Twine  vas  vork  on  any  side 

Der  Schniit  vas  on  de  oder  : 
A  fery  gommon  dodge  ish  dis 

Mit  de  arisdocracie  ; 
So  dat  votefer  eardt  toorns  oop, 

Id's  game  for  de  fainilie  ! 

Nun,  goot !     Howefer  dis  mighdt  pe, 

'Tvas  cerdain  on  dis  hit 
Der  Twine  vas  do  his  teufelest 

To  euchre  Mishder  Schniit ; 
Und  Schmit,  I  criefe  to  say,  exglaimed  : 

"  (roll  darn  me  for  a  fool, 
But  I'll  smash  old  Dutch  to  cholera  fits 

And  rake  the  eternal  pool !" 
(83)    ' 


84 

So  dey  cot  some  liddle  ledders, 

Ash  brifate  ash  could  pe, 
Vitch  Breitmann  writed  long  agone 

To  friendts  in  Germany  • 
Und  dey  brinted  dem  in  efery  vay 

To  make  de  beoples  laugh, 
Und  comment  on  dem  in  de  shtyle 

Dat  a  sports"  call  "slasher-gaff." 

Dere  to — as  vash  known  py  shoodshment 

Und  glearly  ascerdaind, 
Dat  Breitmann  hafe  lossed  money 

Py  a  valse  und  schwindlin  friend — 
So  dey  roon  it  troo  de  newsbapers, 

Uud  shbeech  do  make  pegan, 
Dat  Breitmann  shtole  de  gelt  himself 

Und  rop  der  oder  man. 


Boot  de  ding  dat  jam  de  hardest 

On  de  men  dat  bull  de  vires, 
Und  showed  dat  Captain  Breitmann 

Shtood  pedween  dwo  heafy  vires, 
Yas,  pecause  he  vas  a  soldier — 

Von  could  see  id  at  a  clanse — 
Dey  had  pud  him  in  a  tisdrigt 

Vhere  he  hadn't  half  a  shanse. 


85 


For  ash  de  pold  solidaten 

Ish  more  prafe  ash  oder  mans, 
Dey  moost  lead  de  hope  verloren 

Und  pattle  in  de  vans  • 
Und  ash  defeat  ish  honoraple 

To  men  in  honor  shtrict, 
Dey  honor  dern  py  puttin  em 

Vhere  dey're  cerdain  to  pe  licked. 

Boot  dis  dimes  it  shlopped  over, 

Tvas  de  dird  or  secondt  heat 
Dat  a  soldier  in  dis  tisdrigt 

Had  been  poot  oop  und  beat  : 
So  de  Plue  Goats  dink  it  over 

Und  go  quietly  to  vork  : 
Be  bow  ven  too  moosh  aufgespannt 

Vlies  packward  mit  a  yerk. 

Now  Mishder  Twine  deglaret  on  dis 

De  ding  seemed  doubtenfull, 
Boot  mitout  delay  he  dook  de  horns 

So  poldly  py  de  bull, 
Und  shpread  de  shdory  eferyvhere, 

Dill  folk  to  pliefe  pegan, 
Dat  Mishder  Schmit  had  sold  de  vfght 

Unto  der  Breitemann  ! 


He  fix  de  liddle  tedails — 

How  moosh  der  Schmit  hafe  got 
For  sellin  out  his  barty 

To  let  Breitmann  haul  de  pot  • 
Und  he  showed  a  brifate  ledder 

From  Breitemann  to  Schmit, 
Vhere  he  bromise  him  for  Congress 

If  he  shoost  let  oop  a  bit. 

Der  Twine  vas  writet  dis  ledder ; 

For  der  Copitain  Breitemann 
Vould  nefer  hafe  shtood  soosh  hoompoogks 

Since  virst  his  life  pegan ; 
He  hat  tone  some  rough  dings  in  der  war, 

In  de  ploonder-und-morder  line, 
Boot  vas  hoockelperry-persimmoned 

Mit  dese  boledics  of  Twine. 


Howefer,  dis  ledder  vorket  foorst-rade — 

Mit  de  Merigans  pest  of  all, 
For  dey  mostly  dinked  it  de  naturalest  ding 

As  efer  could t  pefall ; 
For  to  sheat  von's  own  gonstituents 

Ish  de  pest  mofe  in  de  came, 
Und  dey  nefer  sooposed  a  Dootchman 

Hafe  de  sense  to  do  de  same 


V.— Hov/  they  held  the  Mass  Meeting. 


DERE'S  nodings  in  dis  vorldt  so  pad, 
Ash  all  oov  us  may  learn, 
Boot  may  shange  from  dark  to  lighthood, 
If  loock  should  dake  a  doom  ; 
So  it  happenet  mit  Breitmann, 

"Who  in  shpite  of  sin  und  Schmit, 
Grontrified  ad  shoost  dis  yooncture 
Do  make  a  glucky  hit. 

Dey  hat  sendet  out  some  plackarts 

To  de  Deutsche  buergers  all 
(N.  B. — Dish  ish  not  mean  plackarts, 

Boot  de  pills  dey  shtick  on  de  vail), 
To  say  data  Massenversamralung — 

Or  a  meeding  of  all  de  masses — 
Yould  be  held  in  de  Arbeiter-Halle, 

To  consisd  of  de  Sharman  classes. 

Now  dey  gife  de  brintin  of  de  pills 

To  a  new  gekommene  man, 
Who  dinked  dat  Demokratisch 

Vas  de  same  ash  Repooblican  : 
Gott  in  Himmel  weiss  where  he  hid  himself 

On  dish  free  Coloompian  shore 
Dat  he  scaped  de  naturalizationisds, 

Und  hadn't  found  out  pefore. 
(87) 


88 

Boot  to  dis  Deutsche  brinter, 

De  only  tifference  he 
Petween  Repooblicanish 

Und  Demokratisch  tid  see, 
Yas  dat  von  vash  dwo  ledders  longer ; 

So  he  dook  shoost  vot  seem  pat 
To  make  de  poster  handsome — 

Likewise  a  liddle  fat. 

How  ofden  in  dis  buzzlin  life 

Small  grubs  grows  oop  to  vings  ! 
How  ofden  shoost  from  moostard  sect 

A  virst-glass  pusiness  shprings  ! 
Vant  Idein  komt  men  tot't  groote, 

Ash  de  Hollanders  hafe  said  : 
Mit  dese  dwo  ledders  Breitemann 

Caved  in  der  Schmitsy's  head. 


VI— Breitmann's  Great  Speech. 


Dis  tale  dat  Schmit  hafe  sett,  de  viglit 
Cot  so  much  put  apout 
Dat  many  of  his  beoples  vere 
In  fery  tupious  toubt ; 
'Pove  all,  dose  who  were  on  de  make, 

And  easy  change  deir  lodge, 
Und,  pein  awfool  smart  demselfs, 
Pelieve  in  every  dodge. 

Vhen  de  meeding  vas  gesempled, 

Und  dey  found  no  Schmit  vas  dere, 
Dey  looket  at  von  anoder 

Mit  a  ganz  erstaunished  air; 
But  dey  saw  it  glear  as  taylight, 

Und  around  a  vink  dere  ran, 
Ven  pefore  dem  rose  de  shiant  form 

Of  Copitain  Breitemann  ! 

Den  Breitemann  vent  los  at  dem  : 

"  He  could  nichts  well  exbress 
De  rapdure  dat  besqueezed  his  hearts — 

De  wonnevol  hoppiness — 
To  meed  in  friendlich  council 

And  glasp  de  hand  of  dose 
Who  had  peen  mit  most  oonreason 

Und  unkindtly  galled  his  foes. 
12  (89) 


9U 

11  Berhaps  o'er  all  dis  shrnilin  eart' — 

He  vould  say  it  dere  and  den — 
Soosh  shpecdagles  eouldt  nod  pe  seen 

Of  soosh  imbartial  men, 
So  tefoid  of  pase  sospicion, 

So  apove  all  betty  dricks, 
Ash  to  gome  und  lisden  .vairly 

To  a  voe  in  poledicks  ; 

"  Dat  ish  to  say,  a  so-galled  voe — 

For  he  feeled  id  in  his  soul 
Dat  de  Principles  vitch  mofed  dem 

Vere  de  same  oopon  de  whole  ; 
But  he  lack  a  vord  to  exbress  dem. 

In  manners  opportunes — " 
Here  a  veller  in  de  gallery 

Cry  oud,  oonkindly,  "  Shpoons  !" 

Und  dere  der  Breitmann  goppled  him  : 

"  If  shpoons  our  modifes  pe, 
Dere's  not  a  man  pefore  oos 

Who  lossed  a  shpoon  by  me  : 
Far  rader  had  Igife  you  all 

A  shpoons  to  eaten  mit, 
Und  I  hope  to  get  a  ladle  for 

Minefriendt,  der  Mishder  Schmit." 


91 

Dis  fetch  das  Haus  like  doonder — 

It  raised  der  teufel's  dust, 
TJnd  for  sefen-lefen  minudes 

Dey  ooplauded  on  a  bust ; 
Und  de  blokes  dat  dinked  of  hedgin 

Saw  a  ring  as  round  as  0  ; 
So  dey  boked  cash  oder  in  de  rips, 

Und  said,  "  I  dold  vou  so  !" 


For  dis  d'lusion  to  de  ladle 

Vas  as  glear  ash  city  milk, 
Und  drawd  it  on  de  beoples 

So  vine  ash  flossen  silk, 
Dat  Hans  und  Schmit  vere  rollin  locks, 

Und  de  locks  were  ready  cut ; 
Only  Breitmann  hafe  de  liddle  end, 

Und  Schmitsy  dake  de  butt ! 

Den  Breitemann  he  crack  onward  : 

"  If  any  lightened  man 
Will  seeken  in  his  Bibel, 

He'll  find  dat  a  publican 
Is  a  barty  ash  sells  lager ; 

Und  das  ding  is  ferry  blain, 
Dat  a  re-publican  ish  von 

Who  sells  id  'gain  und  'gain. 


92 

"  Now  since  dat  I  sells  lager, 

I  gant  agreen  mifc 
De  demprance  brinciples  I  hear 

Distriputet  to  Schmit ; 
Boot  dis  I  dells  you  vairly, 

Und  no  one  to  teseife — 
If  I  were  Sclimit,  I'd  pliefen 

Shoost  vot  der  Sclimit  peliefe. 

"  And  to  mine  Sherman,  liperal  friends 

I  might  mention  in  dis  shpot 
Dat  I  hear  an  oonfoundet  rumor 

Dat  der  Schmit  peliefe  in  Gott  • 
Und  also  dat  he  coes  to  shoorsh — 

Mit  a  prayer-book  for  salfadion  : 
Ivould  not  for  die  welt  say  dings 

To  hoort  his  repudadion. 


"  Und  nodin  is  more  likely 

Dat  it  all  a  shlander  pe, 
So  also  de  rumor  dat  ven  young 

He  shtoody  divinidy  : 
I  myself,  ash  a  publican, 

Moost  pe  a  sinner  by  fate, 
Und  in  dis  sense  I  denounce  myself 

Ash  Re-publi-candidate  ! 


93 


(t  Und  dat  ve  may  meed  in  gommon, 

I  declare  here  in  dis  hall — 
Und  I  shvears  mineself  to  hold  to  it, 

Fotefer  may  pef'all — 
Dat  any  man  who  gifes  me  his  fote — 

Votevefer  his  boledicks  pe — 
Shall  alfay&pe  regartet 

Ash  bolidiyal  friendt  py  me." 

(Dis  voonderfol  condescension 

Pring  down  drementous  applause, 
Und  dose  who  catch  de  nodion 

(rife  most  derriple  hooraws ; 
Eshbecially  some  Amerigans 

Ash  vas  shtandin  near  de  door, 
Und  who  in  all  deir  leben  long 

Nefer  heard  so  moosh  sense  pefore.) 

"  Dese  ish  de  brincibles  I  holts, 

And  dose  in  vitch  I  run  : 
Dey  ish  fixed  firm  and  inmmtaple 

Ash  te  course  of  de  'ternal  sun  : 
Boot  if  you  ton't  abbrove  of  dem — 

Blease  nodice  vot  I  say — 
I  shall  only  pe  too  happy 

To  alder  dem  right  afay. 


94 


-  Und  unto  my  Demogratic  friendts 

I  vould  very  glearly  shtate — 
Since  dis  useless  mit  oop-gecleared  minds 

To  hold  a  long  depate — 
Dat  dere's  no  man  in  de  cidy 

Dat  sells  besser  liquor  ash  I, 
Und  I  shtand  de  tread ts  free-gradis 

Vhenefer  mine  friendts  ish  try. 

Adfinem — in  de  ende — 

I  moost  mendion  do  you  all, 
Dat  a  dootzen  parrels  of  lager  bier 

Ish  a-gomin  to  dis  hall : 
Dere  ish  none  of  mine  own  barty  here, 

Boot  we'll  do  mitout  deir  helfs  } 
Und  I  kess,  on  de  whole,  'twill  peshoost  so  goot, 

If  ve  trink  it  all  ourselfs." 


Soosh  drementous  up-loudation 

Pefore  was  nefer  seen, 
Ash  dey  shvored  dat  Copitan  Breitmann 

Vas  a  brick-pat,  and  no  sardine  ; 
Und  dey  trinked  demselfs  besoffen, 

Sayin,  "  Hope  you  wird  sookceed  !" — 
De  nexter  theil  will  pe  de  ent 

Of  dis  historisch  lied. 


VII— The  Author  Asserts  the  Vast  Intellectual 
Superiority  of  Germans  to  Americans, 

DERE'S  a  liddle  fact  in  hishdory 
Vich  few  hafe  oonderstand— 
Dat  de  Deutschers  are,  dejure, 
De  owners  of  dis  land  ; 
Und  I  brides  mineself  unspeakbarly 

Dat  I  foorst  make  be-known 
De  primordial  cause  dat  Columpus 
Yas  derivet  from  Cologne  ; 

For  ash  his  name  vas  Colon, 

It  fisibly  does  shine 
Dat  his  elders  are  geboren  been 

In  Co-logne  on  der  Rhein  ; 
Und  Colonia  pein  ?„  colony, 

It  sehr  bemarkbar  ist 
Dat  Columbus  in  America 

Was  der  firster  colonist. 

Und  ash  Columbus  is  a  tofe, 

Id  is  wort  de  drople  to  mark 
Dat  a  bidgeon  foorst  tiscofered  land 

A-vlyin  from  de  ark ; 
Und  shtill  wider — in  de  peginnin, 

Mitout  de  leastest  toubt, 
A  tofe  vas  vly  ofer  de  wassers 

Und  pring  de  vorldt  herout. 
(95) 


96 


Ash  mine  goot  oldt  teacher  der  Kreutzer 

To  me  tid  often  shbeak, 
De  mythus  of  name  reheats  idself 

(V ich  ve  see  in  his  Symbolik') ; 
So  also  de  name  America, 

If  ve  a  liddle  look, 
Vas  coom  from  de  oldt  King  Emerich 

In  de  Deutsche  Ileldenbuch. 


Und  id  vas  from  dat  very  Heldenbuch — 

How  voonderful  id  run  ! — 
Dat  I  shdole  de  "Song  of  Hildebrand, 

Or  der  Vater  und  der  Son/' 
Und  dishtripute  it  to  Breitmann, 

For  a  reason  vitch  now  ish  plain, 
Dat  dis  Sagen-Cyclus,  full-endet, 

Pring  me  round  to  der  Hans  again  ! 

Dese  laws  of  un-endly  un-wigglin 

Ish  so  teep  und  hroad  und  tall 
Dat  nopody  boot  a  Deutscher 

Have  a  het  to  versteh  dem  at  all ; 
Und  should  I  write  mine  dinks  all  oud, 

I  ton't  peliefe,  indeed, 
Dat  I  mineself  vould  versteh  de  half 

Of  dis  here,  Breitmannslied. 


97 

Ash  de  Hegel  say  of  his  system, 

Dat  only  von  mans  knew 
Vot  der  teufel  id  meandt,  und  he  could't  tell ; 

Und  der  Jean  Paul  Richter  too, 
Who  said,  "  G-ott  knows  I  meant  somedings 

When  foorst  dis  buch  I  writ, 
Boot  G-ott  only  wise  vot  de  buch  means  now, 

Vor  I  have  vergotten  it." 

And  all  of  dis  be-wises 

So  blain  ash  de  face  on  your  nose, 
Dat  der  Deutscher  hafe  efen  more  intellects, 

Dan  he  himself  soopose  ; 
Und  his  tifference  mit  de  over-again  vorldt, 

Ash  I  really  do  soospect, 
Ish  dat  oder  volk  hafe  more  soopose, 

Und  lesser  intellect. 

Yet  ooprightly  I  gonfess  it — 

Mitout  ashkin  vhy  or  vhence — 
Dere  ish  also  dimes  vhen  Amerigans 

Hafe  ge-shown  sharp-pointed  sense  ; 
Und  a  fery  outsigned  example 

Of  genius  in  dis  line 
Vas  dishblayed  in  dis  elegdion 

Py  Mishder  Hiram  Twine, 
lo 


VIII— Showing  How  Mr.  Hiram  Twine 
"Played  off"  on  Smith. 

VIDE  LICET  :  Dere  vas  a  fillage 
"Whose  vode  alone  vouldt  pe 
Apout  enoof  to  elegdt  a  man, 
Und  gife  a  majority ; 
So  de  von  who  couldt  scoop  dis  seddlement 

Yould  make  a  pully  hit ; 
Boot  dough  dey  vere  Deutschers,  von  und  all, 
Dey  all  go  von  on  Schmit. 

Now  it  happenet  to  gome  to  bass 

Dat  in  dis  liddle  town 
De  Deutsch  vas  all  exshpegdin 

Dat  Mishder  Schmit  coom  down, 
His  brinciples  to  fore-setzen 

Und  his  idees  to  deach, 
(Dat  is,  fix  oop  de  brifate  pargains) 

Und  telifer  a  pooblic  sbeech. 

Now  Twine  vas  a  gyrotwistive  cuss, 

Ash  blainly  ish  peen  shown, 
Und  vas  alfays  an  out-findin 

Votefer  might  pe  known  ; 
Und  mit  some  of  his  circumswindles 

He  fix  de  matter  so 
Dat  he'd  pe  himself  at  dis  meetin 

And  see  how  dings  vas  go. 
(98) 


99 


Oh  shtrangely  in  dis  leben 

De  dings  kits  vorked  apout ! 
Oh  voonderly  Fortuna 

Makes  toorn  us  insite  out ! 
Oh  sinkular  de  luck-wheel  rolls  ! 

Dis  liddle  meeding  dere 
Fixt  Twine  ad  perpendiculum — 

Shoost  suit  him  to  a  hair  ! 


Now  it  hoppenit  on  dis  efenin 

De  Deutschers,  von  und  all, 
Vere  avaitin  mit  impatience 

De  openin  of  de  ball  ] 
Und  de  shates  of  nite  vere  fallin 

Und  de  shdars  begin  to  plink, 
Und  dey  vish  dat  Schmit  vouldt  hoorry, 

For  d'vas  dime  to  dake  a  trink. 

Dey  hear  some  hoofs  a-dramplin, 

Und  dey  saw,  und  dinked  dey  knowed, 
Der  bretty  greature  coomin, 

On  his  horse  along  de  road  ; 
Und  ash  he  ride  town  in-ward  t 

De  likeness  vas  so  plain 
Dey  donnered  out,  "  Hooray  for  Schmit!" 

Enough  to  make  it  rain. 


100 

Der  Twine  vas  shtart  like  plazes; 

Boot  oopshtarted  too  his  wit, 
Und  he  dinks,  "  Great  Turnips  !  what  if  I 

Could  bass  for  Colonel  Schmit  ? 
Gaul  dern  my  heels  !     I'll  do  it, 

Und  go  the  total  swine  ! 
Oh,  Soap-balls  !  what  a  chance  !"said  dis 

Dissembulatin  Twine. 

Den    'twas    "  Willkomm !   willkomm,   Mishder 
Schmit !" 

Ringsroom  on  efery  site  ; 
Und  «  First-rate  !     How  dy-do  yourself?" 

Der  Hiram  Twine  replied. 
Dey  ashk  him,  «  Come  und  dake  a  trink  ?" 

But  dey  find  it  mighdy  queer 
Ven  Twine  informs  dem  none  boot  hogs 

Yould  trink  dat  shtinkin  bier  ; 

Dat  all  lager  vas  nodings  boot  boison  ; 

Und  ash  for  Sherman  wein, 
He  dinks  it  vas  erfounden 

Exshbressly  for  Sherman  schwein  ; 
Dat  he  himself  vas  a  demperanceler — 

Dat  he  gloria  in  de  name  ; 
Und  atfise  dem  all,  for  tecency's  sake, 

To  go  und  do  de  same. 


101 

Dese  bemarks  among  de  Deutschers 

Vere  apout  ash  veil  receife 
Ash  a  cats  in  a  game  of  den-bins, 

Ash  you  may  of  coorse  peliefe  : 
De  heat  of  de  reception 

Vent  down  a  dootzen  tegrees, 
Und  in  place  of  hurraws  dere  vas  only  heardi 

De  rooslin  of  de  drees. 


Und  so  in  solemn  stille 

Dey  scorched  him  to  de  hall, 
Vhere  he  inaket  de  oradion 

Vitch  vas  so  moosh  to  blease  dem  all 
Und  dis  vay  he  pegin  it  : 

"  Pefore  I  furder  go, 
I  vish  dat  my  obinions 

You  puddin-het  Dootch  should  know. 

':Und  ere  I  norate  to  you, 

I  think  it  only  fair 
We  should  oonderstand  each  other 

Prezactly,  chunk  and  square. 
Dere  are  boints  on  vhich  ve  tisagree, 

And  I  will  plank  de  facts — 
I  don't  go  round  slanganderin 

My  friendts  pehind  deir  packs. 


102 

"  So  I  beg  you  dake  it  easy 

If  on  do  raw  I  touch, 
Vhen  I  say  I  can't  apide  de  sound 

Of  your  groontin,  shi-shing  Dutch. 
Should  I  in  the  Legisladure 

As  your  slumgullion  shtand, 
Fll  have  a  bill  forbidding  Dutch 

Troo  all  dis  'versal  land. 


"  Should  a  husband  talk  it  to  his  frau, 

To  deaf  he  should  pe  led ; 
If  a  mutter  breat'  it  to  her  shild, 

I'd  bunch  her  in  de  head  ; 
Und  I'm  sure  dat  none  vill  atfocate 

Ids  use  in  public  schools, 
Oonless  dey're  peastly,  nashdy,  prutal, 

Sauerkraut-eatin  vools. 


Here  Mishder  Twine,  to  gadder  breat, 

Shoost  make  a  liddle  pause, 
Und  see  sechs  hundert  gapin  eyes, 

Sechs  hundert  shdarin  chaws, 
Dey  shtanden  erstarrt  like  frozen ; 

Yon  faindiy  dried  to  hiss; 
Und  von  set  :  "  Ish  it  shleeps  I'm  treamin  ? 

Gottausend!  vat  ish  dis  ?" 


103 

Twine  keptet  von  eye  on  de  vindow. 

Boot  poldly  went  abet: 
"  Of  your  oder  shtinkin  hobits 

No  vordt  needt  hier  pe  set, 
Shtop  goozlin  bier — shtop  shmokin  bipes — 

Shtop  rootin  in  de  mire  ; 
Und  sboost  un-Dutchify  yourselfs  : 

Dat's  all  dat  I  require." 


Und  denn  dere  coomed  a  shindy 

Asli  if  de  shky  bat  trop : 
"  Trow  bim  mit  ecks,  py  doonder  ! 

Go  sblog  bim  on  de  kop  ! 
Hei !     Shoot  him  mit  a  powie-knifes  ; 

Go  for  him,  ganz  and  gar  ! 
Sboost  tar  him  mit  some  fedders  ! 

Led's  fedder  him  mit  tar!" 


Sooch  a  teufel's  row  of  furie 

Yas  nefer  oop-kickt  before : 
Soom  roosb  to  on-climb  de  blatform — 

Soom  hoory  to  fasten  te  toor  : 
Yon  veller  vired  his  refolfer, 

Boot  de  pullet  missed  her  mark : 
She  coot  de  cort  of  de  sbandelier  : 

It  vell3  und  de  hall  vas  tark! 


104 

Oh  veil  was  it  for  Hiram  Twine 

Datnimply  he  couldt  shoomp' 
Und  veil  dat  he  light  on  a  misthauf, 

Und  nefer  feel  de  boomp ; 
Und  veil  for  him  dat  his  goot  cray  horse 

Shtood  sattled  shoost  outside ; 
Und  veil  dat  in  an  augenblick 

He  vas  off  on  a  teufel's  ride. 


Bang !  bang  !  de  sharp  pistolen  shots 

Vent  pipin  py  his  ear, 
Boot  he  tortled  oop  de  barrick  road 

Like  any  mountain  deer  : 
Dey  trowed  der  Hiram  Twine  mit  shteins. 

But  dey  only  could  be-mark 
Von  climpse  of  his  vhite  obercoadt, 

Und  a  clotterin  in  de  tark. 

So  dey  all  versembled  togeder, 

Ein  ander  to  sprechen  mit, 
Und  allow  dat  sooch  a  rede 

Dey  nefer  exshpegd  from  Sehmit — 
Dat  he  vas  a  foorst-glass  plackguard, 

And  so  pig  a  Lump  ash  ran  ; 
So,  nemine  contradicente, 

Dey  vented  for  Breitemann. 


105 

Und  'twas  annerthalb  yar  dcreaftcr 

Before  der  Schmit  vas  know 
Vot  maket  dis  rural  fillage 

Go  pack  oopon  him  so  ; 
Und  he  schvored  at  de  Dootch  more  schlimmer 

Ash  Hiram  Twine  had  tone. 
Nota  lene :  He  tid  it  in  earnesht, 

Vhile  der  Hiram's  vas  pusiness  fun. 


Boot  vhen  Breitmann  heard  de  shdory 

How  de  fillage  hat  peen  dricked, 
He  shvore  bei  Leib  und  Leben 

He'd  rader  hafe  been  licked 
Dan  pe  helpetbei  soosh  shumgoozlin  ; 

Und  'twas  petter  to  pe  a  schwein 
Dan  a  schwindlin  honeyfooglin  shnake, 

Like  dat  lyin  Yankee  Twine. 

Und  pegot  so  heafy  disgoosted 

Mit  de  boledicks  of  dis  land 
Dat  his  friendts  couldn't  barely  keep  him 

From  trowinoop  his  hand,  [poot : 

Vhen  he  helt  shtraidt  flush,  mit  an  ace  in  his 

Vich  phrase  ish  all  de  same, 
In  de  science  of  de  pokerology, 

Ash  if  he  got  de  game. 
14 


106 

So  Breitmann  cot  elegtet, 

Pj  vollowin  de  vay 
Dey  manage  de  elegdions 

Unto  dis  fery  day  ; 
Yitch  shows  de  Deutsch  DummelirUchkeit, 

Also  de  Yankee  "  wit:" 
Das  ist  das  Abenteuer 

How  Breitmann  lick  der  Schmit 


Breitmann's  Going  to  Church. 


"  Vide*  igifur,  Collega  carissime,  visitationem  canonicam  esse 
rem  hand  ita  perlculosam,  sed  valde  amoenam,  si  modo  vinum, 
(jroggio,  et  cibi  praesto  sunt." 

[Novis&lmce  JSpistolw  Obscurorum  Virorum.  Berlini,  F.  Berg- 
gold,  18G9.  Epistola  xx'uLp.  63.] 

D'VAS  near  cle  State  of  Nashfille, 
In  cle  town  of  Tennessee, 
Der  Breitmann  vonce  vas  quarderd 
Mit  all  his  cavallrie. 
Der  Sheneral  kept  him  glose  in  camp, 

He  vouldn't  let  dem  go, 
Dey  couldn't  shdeal  de  first  plack  hen, 
Or  make  de  red  cock  crow. 


Und  virst  der  Breitmann  vildly  shmiled, 

Und  denn  he  madly  shvore  : 
"  Crate  h — 1  mit  shpoons  und  shinsherbread  ! 

Can  dis  pe  makin  war? 
Yerdammt  pe  all  der  discipline  ; 

Yerdammt  der  Sheneral ; 
Vere  I  vonce  on  de  road,  his  will 
Were  Wurst  mir  und  egal. 
2  (107) 


108 

"  Oh  vhere  ish  all  de  plazin  roofs 

Bat  claddened  vonce  mine  eyes, 
TJnd  vhere  de  crand  blantaschions 

There  ve  gaddered  many  a  brize  ? 
Und  vhere  de  plasted  shpies  ve  hung 

A  howlin  loud  mit  fear ; 
Und  vhere  de  rascal  push-whackers 

Ye  shashed  like  vritened  deer. 


"  De  roofs  are  shtandin  fast  und  firm 

Mit  repels  blottin  oonder ; 
De  crand  blantaschions  lie  round  loose 

For  Morgan's  men  to  ploonder ; 
De  shbies  go  valkin  out  und  in, 

Ash  sassy  ash  can  pe, 
Und  in  de  voods  de  push- whackers 

Are  makin  foon  of  me ! 


"  0,  vere  I  on  my  schimmel  grey, 

Mein  sabre  in  mem  hand, 
Dey  should  drack  me  py  de  ruins 

Of  de  houses  troo  de  land. 
Dey  should  drack  me  py  de  puzzards 

High  sailen  ofer  head, 
A  vollowin  der  Breitmann's  trail, 

To  claw  de  repel  dead.'7 


100 

Outspoke  cler  bold  Yon  Stossenheim, 

Who  had  theories  of  Gott : 
0  Breitmann  dis  isli  shoodgemeiit  on 

De  vays  dat  you  liafe  trot 
You  only  lifes  to  joy  yourself, 

Yet  you  yourself  moost  say 
Dat  self-development  requires 

De  religios  Idee." 


Dey  set  clem  down  und  argued  it, 

Like  Deutschers  vree  from  fear, 
Dill  dey  schmoke  ten  pfounds  of  Knaster 

Und  dr inked  drei  fass  of  bier. 
Der  Breitmann  go  py  Schopenhauer, 

Boot  Yeit  he  had  him  dcnn, 
For  he  dook  him  on  de  angles 

Of  de  moral  oxygen. 

Der  Breitmann  'low  dat  'pentence 

Ish  known  in  afery  glime, 
Und  dat  to  grin  und  bear  it 

Yas  healty  und  sooplime. 
u  For  mine  Sout  Sherman  Catoliks 

Id  Yas  pe  goot  I  know, 
Likevise  dem  Nordland  Luterans, 

If  vonce  to  shoorsh  dey  go. 


110 

"  Boot  how  vas  id  mit  oders 

Who  dinks  philosophie  ? 
J  don't  begreif  de  matter — " 

Said  Stossenheim :  "  Denn  see 
De  more  dat  Shoorsh  disgoostet  you, 

Und  make  despise  und  bain, 
De  crater  merid  ish  to  go, 

Und  de  crater  ish  your  gain. 

"  I  know  a  liddle  shoorsh  mineself 

Oopon  de  Bole  Jack  road ; 
(De  rebs  vonce  shot  dree  Federals  dere 

Ash  into  shoorsh  dey  goed.) 
Dere  you  might  make  a  bilcrimage, 

Und  do  it  in  a  tay: — 
Gott  only  knows  vot  dings  you  might 

Bick  oop,  oopon  de  vay." 

Den  oop  dere  slipoke  a  contrapand, 

Yas  at  de  tent  id's  toor : 
"  Dere's  twenty  bar'ls  of  whisky  hid 

In  dat  tabernacle — shore ! 
A  rebel  he  done  gone  and  put 

It  in  de  cellar  true ; 
No  libin  man  dat  secret  knows 

'Cept  only  me  an'  you." 


Ill 

Der  Stossenheim  he  grossed  himself 

Und  knelt  peside  de  fence, 
Und  gried :  "  0  Coptain  Breitmann,  see, 

Die  finger  Providence." 
Der  Breitmann  droed  his  hat  afay : 

Says  he,  "  Pe't  hit  or  miss, 
I'fe  heard  of  miragles  pefore, 

Boot  none  so  hunk  ash  dis. 


"  Wohl  auf,  mine  pully  cafaliers, 

Ye'll  ride  to  shoorsh  to-day ! 
Each  man  ash  hasn't  cot  a  horse, 

Moost  sliteal  von,  rite  afay. 
Dere's  a  raw,  green  corps  from  Michigan, 

Mit  horses  on  de  loose  ; 
You  men  ash  vants  some  hoof-irons, 

Look  out  und  crip  deir  shoes  1" 

All  brooshed  und  fixed,  de  cavallrie 

Rode  out  py  moonen-shine  ; 
De  cotten  fields  in  shimmerin  light 

Lay  white  ash  elfenbein. 
Dcy  beared  a  shot  close  py  Lavergne, 

Und  men  who  rode  afay. 
In  de  road  a-velterin  in  his  ploot 

A  Federal  picket  lay. 


112 

Und  all  dat  he  hafe  dimes  to  say: 

"  Yhile  shtandin  at  my  post, 
De  guerillas  got  first  shot  at  me ;" 

Und  so  gafe  oop  de  ghost. 
Den  a  contrapand,  who  belt  his  head, 

Said :  "  Sah — dose  grillers  all, 
Is  only  half  a  mile  from  hyar, 

A  dancin  at  a  pall." 


Der  Breitmann  shpoke,  und  brummed  it  out 

Ash  if  his  heart  ticl  schvell, 
"  I'll  gife  dem  music  at  dat  pall 

Till  tantz  dem  indo  hell !" 
Hei ! — arrow-fast — a  teufel's  ride ! 

De  plack  man  led  de  vay ; 
Dey  reach  de  bouse — dey  see  de  lights — 

Dey  beard  de  fiddle  blay. 

Dey  nefer  vaited  for  a  word, 

Boot  galloped  from  de  gloom, 
Und  bang  ! — a  hoonderd  carpine  shots 

Dey  fired  into  de  room. 
Oop  vent  de  groans  of  vountet  men, 

De  fittlin  died  avay ; 
Boot  some  of  dem  vere  tead  before 

De  music  ceased  to  blay. 


113 

Den  crack  und  smack  coom  scatterin  shots 

Troo  vinclow  und  troo  door, 
Boot  bang  und  clang  de  Germans  gife 

Anoder  volley  more. 
«  Dere— let  'em  shlide.     Right  file,  to  shoorsli !" 

Alouclt  de  orders  ran. 

"  I  kess  I  paid  dem  for  dat  shot  1"  « 

Shpeak  grim  der  Breitemann. 

All  rosen  red  de  mornin  fair 

Shone  gaily  o'er  de  hill, 
All  violet  pine  de  shky  crew  teep 

In  rifer,  pond  und  rill. 
All  cloudy  grey  de  limeshtone  rocks 

Coom  oop  troo  dimmerin  wood ; 
All  shnowy  vite  in  mornin  light 

De  shoorsh  pefore  dem  shtood. 

"  Now  loudet  veil  de  Organ  oop, 

To  drill  mit  solemn  fear ; 
Und  ring  also  dat  Lumpenglock, 

To  pring  de  beoples  here. 
Und  if  it  prings  guerillas  down, 

Ye'll  gife  dem,  py  de  Lord ! 
De  low  mass  of  de  sabre,  und 
De  high  mass  of  de  cord ! 
15 


114 

"  Du  Eberle*  aus  Freiburg, 

Du  bist  ein  Musikant. 
Top-sawyer  on  de  counter-point 

Und  buster  in  discant, 
To  dee  de  soul  of  music 

All  innerly  ish  known, 
Du  canst  mit  might  fullenden 

De  art  of  or^el-ton. 


"  Derefore  a  Miserere 

Vilt  dou,  be-ghostet,  spiel ; 
Und  vake  re-raised  yearnin, 

Also  a  holy  feel : — 
Pe  referent,  men — rememper 

Dis  ish  a  Gotteshaus — - 
Du,  Conrad, — go  along  de  aisles, 

Und  schenk  de  whisky  aus !" 

Dey  blay  crate  dings  from  Mozart, 

Beethoven  und  Mehul, 
Mit  chorals  of  Sebastian  Bach, 

Sooplime  und  peaudiful. 
Der  Breitmann  feel  like  holy  saints, 

De  tears  roon  down  his  fuss, 
Und  he  sopped  out :  "  Gott  verdammich — dis 

1st  wahres  Kunstgenuss!" 


115 

Der  Eberle  blayed  oop  so  high 

He  make  de  rafters  ring. 
Der  Eberle  blayed  lower,  und 

Ye  heardt  der  Breitmann  sing, 
Like  a  dronin  wind  in  piney  woods, 

Like  a  nightly  moanin  sea, 
Ash  he  dinked  on  Sonntags  long  agone 

Then  a  poy  in  Germany. 


Und  louder  und  mit  louder  tone 

High  oop  de  orgel  Mowed, 
Und  plentifuller  efer  yet 

Around  de  whisky  goed. 
Dey  singed  ash  if  mit  singin  dey 

Might  indo  Himmel  win : — 
I  dink  in  all  dis  land  soosh  shprees 

Ash  yet  hafe  nefer  peen. 

Yhen  in  de  Abendsonnenschein, 

Mit  doost-cloudts  troo  de  door, 
All  plack  ash  night  in  goldnen  lighdt 

Dere  shtood  ein  schwartzer  Mohr. 
Dat  contrapand  so  wild  und  weh, 

Mit  eye-palls  glarin  round, 
Und  cried :  "  For  Gott's  sake,  hoory  oop ! 

De  reps  ish  gomin  down  I" 
3 


116 

Und  vhile  he  yet  vas  shpeakin, 

A  far-off  soundt  pegan, 
Down  rollin  from  de  moundain, 

Of  many  a  ridersmann. 
Und  vhile  de  waves  of  musik 

Yere  rollin  o'er  deir  heads, 
Dey  heard  a  foice  a  schkreemin : 

"  Pile  out  of  thar,  you  Feds ! 


"For  we  uns  ar'  a  comin 

For  to  guv  to  you  uns  fits, 
And  knock  you  into  brimstun, 

And  blast  you  all  to  bits — " 
Boot  ere  it  done  ids  shpeakin 

Dere  vas  order  in  de  band, 
Ash  Breitmann,  mit  an  awefool  stim 

Out-dondered  his  gommand. 

Und  ash  fisch-hawk  at  a  mackarel 

Doth  make  a  splurgin  flung, 
Und  ash  eagles  dab  de  fisch-hawks 

Ash  if  de  gods  were  young  ; 
So  from  all  de  doors  und  vindows, 

Like  shpiders  down  deir  webs, 
De  Dootch  went  at  deir  horses, 

Und  de  horses  at  de  rebs. 


117 

Crate  shplendors  of  de  treadful 

Yere  in  dat  pattle  rush  ; 
Crate  vights  mit  swordt  und  carpine 

Py  efery  fence  and  bush ; 
Ash  panters  vight  mit  crislies 

In  famished  morder  fits — 
For  de  rebs  vere  mad  ash  boison, 

Und  de  Dootch  ver  droonk  as  blitz. 


Yet  vild  ash  vas  dis  pattle, 

So  quickly  vas  it  o'er  : — • 
0  vhy  moost  I  forefer 

Pestain  mine  page  mit  gore 
Py  liddle  und  py  liddle, 

Dey  drawed  demselfs  afay ; 
Oft  toornin  round  to  vighten, 

Like  booffaloes  at  bay. 

De  scatterin  shots  grew  fewer, 

De  scatterin  gries  more  shlow ; 
Und  furder  troo  de  forest 

Ye  heared  dem  vainter  crow. 
Ye  gife  von  shout — "  Victoria  /" 

Und  den  der  Breitmann  said, 
Ash  he  wiped  his  ploody  sabre, 

"Now,  poys,  count  oop  your  dead  !" 


118 

0  small  had  peen  our  shoutin 

For  shoy,  if  ve  had  known, 
Dat  de  Stossenheim  im  oaken  Wald 

Lay  dyin  all  alone ; 
Yhile  his  oldt  white  horse  mit  droopin  het 

Look  dumbly  on  him  down, 
Ash  if  he  dinked,  "  Yy  lyest  dou  here 

Yhile  fightin's  goin  on  ?" 

Und  dreams  coom  o'er  de  soldier, 

Slow  dyin  on  de  eart, 
Of  a  Schloss  afar  in  Baden, 

Of  his  mutter,  und  nople  birt — 
Of  poverty  und  sorrow 

Yhich  drofe  him  like  de  wind — • 
Und  he  sighed :  "  Ach  weh,  for  de  lofed  ones 

Who  wait  so  far  pehind  ! 

"  Wohl  auf,  my  soul  o'er  de  moundains  I 

Wohl  auf — well  ofer  de  sea ! 
Dere's  a  frau  dat  sits  in  de  Odenwald, 

Und  shpins,  und  dinks  of  me. 
Dere's  a  shild  ash  blays  in  de  greenin  grass, 

Und  sings  a  liddle  hymn, 
Und  learns  to  shpeak  a  fader's  name 

Dat  she  nefer  will  shpeak  to  him. 


119 

"  But  mordal  life  ends  shortly, 

Und  Heafen's  life  is  long — . 
Wo  bist  du,  Breitmann  ? — glaub'es — 

Gott  suffers  no  ding  wrong. 
Now  I  die  like  a  Christian  soldier ; 

My  head  oopon  my  sword  : — 
In  nomine  Domine!" 

Vas  Stossenheim  his  word. 


0,  dere  vas  bitter  wailen 

Vhen  Stossenheim  vas  found, 
Efen  from  dose  dere  lyin 

Fast  dyin  on  de  grount. 
Boot  time  vas  short  for  vaiten, 

De  shades  vere  gadderin  dim ; 
Und  I  nefer  shall  forget  it, 

De  hour  ve  purled  him. 

De  tramp  of  horse  und  soldiers 

Yas  all  de  funeral  knell, 
De  ring  of  sporn  und  carpine 

Vas  all  de  sacrin  bell. 
Mit  hoontin  knife  und  sabre 

Dey  digged  de  grave  a  span  ; 
From  German  eyes  blue  gleamin 

De  holy  water  ran. 


120 

Mit  moss-grown  shticks  und  bark-thong 

De  plessed  cross  ve  made, 
Und  put  it  vhere  de  soldier's  head 

Toward  Germany  vas  laid. 
Dat  grave  is  lost  mid  dead  leafs, 

De  cross  is  gone  afay, 
Boot  Gott  will  find  der  reiter 

Oopon  de  Youngest  Day. 


Und  dinkin  of  de  fightin, 

Und  dinkin  of  de  dead, 
Und  dinkin  of  de  Organ, 

To  Nashville  Breitmann  led. 
Boot  long  dat  rough  oldt  Hanseii 

Yas  ernsthaft,  grim  und  kalt, 
Shtill  dinkin  of  de  heart's  friend, 

He'd  left  irn  gruenen  Wald. 


De  verses  of  dis  boem 

In  Heidelberg  I  write. 
De  night  is  dark  around  me, 

De  shtars  apove  are  bright. 
Studenten  in  den  Gassen 

Make  singen  many  a  song, 
Ach  Faderland ! — wie  bist  du  weit ! 

Ach  Zeit ! — wie  bist  du  lang ! 


The  First  Edition  of  Breitmann. 


Sjjofohrg  Ijofo  anb  foljn  it  fans  iljat  it  tuber  appeared 


"  Uiis  ist  in  alien  Maeren, 
Wunders  viel  geseit, 
Von  Helden  lobebaeren, 
Von  grosser  Arebeit, 
Von  Festen  und  Ilochzeilcn, 
Von  Weinen  und  Klagen, 
Vvn  kuehnen  Recken  Streiten, 

Ihr  nun  Wunderhoren  sagen." 

DER  NlBELUNGEN  LIED. 


PIRSDT    PARDT. 


Do  oos,  in  anciend  shdory, 
Crate  voonders  ish  peen  told 
Of  lapors  fool  of  glories, 
Of  heroes  bluff  und  bold, 
Of  high  oldt  times  a-kitin, 
Of  howlin  und  of  tears, 
Of  kissin  und  of  vightin  : 
All  dis  we  likes  to  hears. 
16  (121) 


122 

Dere  growed  once  dimes  in  Schwaben 

Since  fifty  years  pegan, 
An  shild  of  decent  elders, 

His  name  Hans  Breitemann. 
De  gross  adfentures  dat  he  had, 

If  you  will  only  look, 
Ish  all  bescribed  so  truly 

In  dis  fore-tying  book. 


Und  allaweil  dese  lieder 

Yere  goin  troo  his  het, 
De  writer  lay  von  Sonntay, 

A-shleepin  in  his  bett ; 
Yen  lo  I — a  yellow  bigeon 

Coom  to  him  in  a  dream, 
De  same  dat  Mr.  Barnum 

Yonce  had  in  his  Museum. 


Und  dus  out-shpoke  de  bigeon  : 

"  If  you  should  brint  de  songs 
Or  oder  dings  of  Breitmann 

Yhich  to  dem  on  belongs, 
Dey  will  tread  de  road  of  Sturm  und  Drang 

Die  wile  es  mohte  leben, 
Und  pe  mis-geborn  in  pattle 

To  dis  fate  ish  it  ergeben." 


123 

» 

Und  dus  rebly  de  dreamer: 
"  If  on  de  ice  it  shlip, 
Den  led  it  dake  ids  shanses ; 

Rip  Sam,  und  let  'er  rip ! 
Don  say'st  id  vill  be  sturnry. — 

Vot  sturmy  ish,  ish  crand. 
Crate  heroes  ish  de  beoples 

In  Uncle  Samuel's  land. 


Du  bist  ein  rechter  Gelbschnal:el 

0  golden  bigeon  mine  : 
Und  I'll  fighdt  id  on  dis  summer 

If  id  dakes  me  all  de  line. 
Full  liddle  ish  de  discount 

Oopon  de  Yankee  peeps." 
"  Go  to  hell!"  exglaim  de  bigeon  : — 
Foreby  vas  all  mine  shleeps. 
4 


SECONDT    PARDT. 


DERE  vent  to  Sout  Carolina, 
A  shentleman  who  dinked, 
Dat  de  pallads  of  der  Breitmann 
Should  papered  pe  und  inked. 
Und  dat  he  vouldt  fixed  de  brintin 

Pefore  de  writer  know : 

Dis  make  to  many  a  brinter 

Fool  many  a  bitter  woe. 

All  in  de  down  of  Charleston 

A  druckerei  he  found, 
There  dey  cut  de  copy  into  takes, 

Und  sorted  it  around. 
Und  all  vas  goot  peginnen, 

For  no  man  heeded  mooch 
Dat  half  de  jours  vas  Mericans, 

Und  half  of  dem  vas  Dutch. 

Und  vorser  shtill,  anoder  half 

Had  vorn  de  Federal  plue, 
Thile  de  anti-half  in  Davis  grey 

Had  peen  Confeterates  true. 
Great  Himmel ! — Tot  a  shindy 

Tos  shtarted  in  de  crowd 
Then  some  von  read  Hans  Breitmann 

His  Barty  all  aloud  1 
(124) 


125 

Und  von  goot-nadured  Yankee 

He  schvear  it  vos  a  shame, 
To  dell  soosh  lies  on  Dutchmen, 

Und  make  of  dem  a  game. 
But  dis  make  mad  Fritz  Luder, 

Und  he  schvear  dis  treat  of  Hans, 
Yos  shoost  so  goot  a  barty 

Ash  any  oder  man's. 

Und  dat  nodings  vos  so  looscious, 

In  all  dis  eartly  shpear, 
Ash  a  quart  mug  fool  of  sauer-kraut, 

Mit  a  plate  of  lager  bier. 
Dat  de  Yankee  might  pe  tarn  mit  himself 

For  he,  der  Fritz,  hafe  peen 
In  many  soosh  a  barty, 

Und  all  dose  dings  hafe  seen. 

All  mad  oopsproong  de  Yankee, 

Mid  all  his  passion  ripe, 
Und  vired  at  Fritz  mit  de  shootin-shtick, 

Wheremit  he  vas  settin  type. 
It  hit  him  on  de  occiput, 

Und  laid  him  on  de  floor ; 
For  many  a  long  day  afder 

I  ween  his  het  vas  sore. 


126 

Dis  roused  Piet  Weiser  der  Pfaelzer, 

Who  vas  quick  to  act  und  dink ; 
lie  held  in  hand  a  roller 

Yhere-mit  he  vas  rollin  ink. 
Und  he  dake  his  broof  py  shtrikin 

Der  Merican  top  of  his  het, 
Und  make  soosh  a  vine  impression 

Dat  he  left  do  veller  for  deat. 


Allaweil  dese  dings  oonfolded, 

Dere  vas  rows  of  anoder  kind, 
Und  drople  in  de  wigwam 

Enough  to  trife  dem  plind ; 
Und  a  crate  six-vooted  Soutern  man, 

Yot  hafe  vorked  on  a  Refiew, 
Shvear  he  hope  to  Gott  he  mighd  pie  de  forms 

If  de  Breitmann's  book  warn't  true. 


For  de  Sout  vas  ploondered  derriple, 

Und  in  dat  darksome  hour 
He  hafe  lossed  a  yallow-pine  maiden, 

Of  all  de  land  de  vlower. 
Bright  gold  doblones  a  hoondered 

He"  willingly  vouldt  pay, 
Ash  soon  ash  a  thrip  for  a  ginger-cake, 

Und  deem  it  sheap  dat  day. 


127 

To  him  aut-worded  a  Yorker, 

Who  shoomp  den  dimes  de  boun-ti-ee, 
(De  only  dings  he  lossed  in  de  war 

Was  a  sense  of  broperty :) 
Says  he,  "  Votefer  you  hafe  dropped, 

Some  oder  shap  hafe  get, 
Und  de  yallow-pine  like  him  petter  ash  3-011 ; 

On  dat  it  is  safe  to  bet !" 


Dead-pale  pecame  dat  Soudern  brave, 

He  tidn't  so  moosh  as  yell ; 
Boot  he  drop  right  onto  de  Yorker, 

Und  mit  von  lick  bust  his  shell. 
Den  out  he  flashed  his  pig-sticker, 

Und  mit  looks  of  drementous  gloom, 
Rooshed  vildly  into  de  pattle 

Dat  vas  ragin  round  de  room. 

Boot,  in  angulo,  in  de  corner, 

Anoder  quarrel  vas  grow 
Twix  a  Boston  shap  mit  a  Londoner, 

Und  de  row  ish  gekommen  so : 
De  Yankee  say  dat  de  H-w-mor 

Of  Breitmann  vas  less  dan  small ; 
Dough  he  maket  de  beoples  laughen, 

Boot  dat  vas  only  all. 


128 

Den  a  Deutscher  say  by  Donner  I 

Dat  soosh  a  baradox 
Yould  leafe  no  hope  for  writers 

In  all  Pandora's  baender  box. 
'Twas  like  de  sayin  dat  Heine 

Hafe  no  witz  in  him  goot  or  bad  ; 
Boot  he  only  kept  sayin  witty  dings, 

To  make  beoples  pelieve  he  had. 


Den  de  oder  veller  be-headed 

Dat  dere  vas  not  a  shbark  of  foon 
In  de  Breitmann  Heels,  vhen  you  lead  dem 

Into  English  correctly  done: 
Den  a  Proof  Sheet  veller  res-pondered, 

For  he  dink  de  dings  vas  hard ; 
"  Dat  ish  shoost  like  de  goot  oldt  lady 

Ash  vent  to  hear  Arternas  Ward. 


"  Und  say  it  vas  shames  de  beoples 
Yas  laugh  demselfs  most  tead 

At  de  boor  young  veller  lecturin, 
Then  he  tidn't  know  vot  he  said." 

Hereauf  de  Yankee  answered: 

"  Gaul  dern  it ! — Shtop  your  fuss!" 

Und  all  de  crowd  togeder 
Go  slap  in  a  grand  plug-muss. 


129 

De  Yankee  shlog  de  Proof  Sheet 

Soosch  an  awfool  smack  on  de  face, 
Dat  he  shvell  rite  oop  like  a  poonkin 

Mit  a  sense  of  his  tisgrace. 
Boot  a  Deutscher  boosted  an  ink-keg 

On  dop  of  de  oders  hair, 
It  vly  troo  de  air  like  a  boomshell — denn 

Mine  Gotts ! — Tot  a  sighdt  vas  dere ! 


Denn  ofer  all  de  shapel 

Yierce  war  vas  ragin  loose ; 
Fool  many  a  vighten  brinter 

Got  well  ge-cooked  his  goose ; 
Fool  many  an  nose  mit  listen 

I  ween  vas  padly  scrouged ; 
Fool  many  an  eye  pright-gleamin 

Yas  ploody  out-gegouged. 

Do  wart  ufgehauwen 

Dere  vas  hewin  off  of  pones. 
Do  horte  man  dar  inne 

Man  heardt  soosh  treadful  croans, 
Jack  war  en  da  die  Geste 

De  row  vas  rough  und  tough. 
Genuoge  sluogen  wunden — 

Dere  vas  plooty  wounds  enough. 
IT 


130 

De  shpirids  of  anciend  brinters 

From  Himmel  look  down  oopon, 
Und  allowed  dat  in  a  chapel 

Dere  vas  nefer  soosh  carryins-on. 
Dere  vas  Lorenz  Coster  mit  Guttemberg, 

Und  Scheffer  mit  der  Fust, 
Und  Sweynheim  mit  Pannartz  trop  deers 

Oopon  dis  teufel's  dust. 


Dere  vas  Yankee  jours  extincted 

Who  lay  oopon  de  vloor ; 
Dere  vas  Soutern  rebs  destructed 

Who  nefer  vouldt  Jeff  no  more. 
Ash  deir  souls  rise  oop  to  Heafen, 

Dey  heard  de  oldt  brinters  calls  ; 
Und  Guttemberg  gifed  clem  all  a  kick 

Ash  he  histed  dem  ofer  de  walls. 


Dat  ish  de  vay  dese  Ballads 

Foorst  vere  crooshed  in  plood  und  shdorm. 
Fool  many  a  day  moost  bass  afay 

Pefore  dey  dook  dis  form. 
De  copy  flootered  o'er  de  preasts 

Of  heroes  lyin  todt. 
Dis  vas  de  dire  peginnin — 

Das  war  des  BREITMANN'S  NOTII. 


131 

Dis  song  in  Philadelphia 

Long  dimes  ago  pegun ; 
In  Paris  vas  gondinued,  und 

In  Dresden  ist  full-done. 
If  any  toubt  apout  de  facts 

In  nople  minds  ish  grew, 
Let  dem  ashk  Carl  Benson  Bristed — 

He  knows  id  all  ish  drue. 


Und  now  dese  Breitmann  shdories 

Ish  geprindt  in  many  a  land, 
Sogar  in  far  Australia 

Dey're  gestohlen  und  bekannt. 
Geh  hin  mein  Puch  in  alle  Welt, 

Steh  auss  was  dir  kompt  zu. 
Man  beysse  Dich,  man  reysse  Dich, 

Nur  dass  man  mir  nichts  thu. 


Translation, 


Go  forth  my  book  through  all  the  world, 

Bear  what  thy  fate  may  be ! 
They  may  bite  thee,  they  may  tear  thee, 

So  they  do  no  harm  to  me ! 
5 


I  Gili  Romaneskro. 


WHEN  der  Herr  Breitmaim  vas  a  yungling,  he 
vas  go,  bummin  aroundt,  goot  deal  in  de 
Worlt,  vestigatin  human  natur,  roulant  de 
vergne  en  vergne,  ash  de  Fraentsch  boet  says :  "  goin 
from  town  to  town," — seein  beobles  in  gemixed  so- 
ciedjr,  und  learnin  dose  languages  vitch  ornamendt  a 
drue  moskopolite,  or  von  whose  het  ish  bemost  mit  ex 
perience.  Mong  oder  tongues  ash  it  would  appeared, 
he  shpoke  fluendly  Red  Welsh,  Black  Dootch,  Kau- 
der-Waelsch  Gaunersprache  und  Ghipsy,  und  dis 
latter  langnashe  he  pring  so  wide  dat  he  write  a  pook 
of  pallads  in  it — von  of  vitch  pallads  I  have  intuce 
him  mit  moush  droples  to  telifer  ofer  to  de  worldt. 
De  inclined  reader,  vill,  mit  crate  heavy-hood  blace 
pefore  himself  de  fexation  und  lapor  I  hafe  hat  in 
der  Breitmann  his  absents  to  get  dese  Shipsy  verses 
broperly  gorrected ;  as  de  only  shentleman  in  town 
who  vas  culpable  of  so  doin,  ish  peen  gonfined  in  de 
town-brison ;  pout  some  drobles  he  hat  for  shdealin 
(132) 


133 

some  hens,  und  pefore  I  couldt  consoolt  mit  him,  he 
vas  rooned  afay.  Den  I  fond  an  oldt  vomans  Shipsy 
who  vas  do  nodins  boot  peg,  und  so  wider  mit 
pout  five  or  four  oders  more.  Derfore  der  erordoms 
moast  pe  excused  py  de  enlightened  pooplic  who  are 
fomiliar  mit  dis  peautiful  languashe,  vitch  is  now 
so  shenerally  fashioniibel  in  literary  und  shpordin 
circles. 


I  Gili  Romaneskro. 


SCHUNAVA,  ke  baschko  dela  godla 
Schunava  Paschomaskro. 

Te  del  miro  Dewel  tumen 
Dschavena  bachtallo. 

Schunava  apre  to  ruka 

Chiriklo  ke  gillela : 
Kamovela  but  dives, 

Eh'me  pale  kamaveva. 

A  po  je  wa'wer  divesseste 
Schunava  pro  gilaviben, 

Makana  me  avava, 

Pro  marzos,  pro  kuriben. 


134 

So  korava  kuri  bentc 
So  korava  apre  drom ; 

Me  kanav  miri  romni, 
So  kamela  la  lakero  rom. 


translation. 


I  hear  de  gock  a  growin ! 

I  hear  de  musikant ! 
Gott  gife  dee  a  happy  sliourney 

Yhen  you  go  to  a  distand  landt. 

I  hears  oopon  de  pranches 
A  pird  mit  merry  shdrain  ; 

Goot  many  tays  moost  fanish 
Ere  I  coom  to  dis  blace  again. 

Oopon  some  oder  tay-times 
I'll  hear  dat  song  from  dee  ; 

Boot  now  I  goes  ash  soldier, 
To  war  on  de  rollin  sea. 

Unt  vot  I  shdeals  in  pattle, 
Und  vot  on  de  road  I  shdeal, 

I'll  pring  all  to  my  true  lofe 
Who  lofes  her  loafer  so  well. 


Steinli  von  Slang. 


FlfcSDT    FAULT. 


DER  Watchman  look  out  from  his  tower, 
Ash  de  Abendgold  glimmer  grew  dim, 
Und  saw  on  de  road  troo  de  Gajler 
Ten  shpearmen  coom  rid  in  to  him : 
Und  he  schvear :  "  May  I  lose  my  next  bitter, 

Und  denn  mit  der  Teufel  go  hang, 
If  id  isn't  dat  pully  young  Hitter, 
De  hell-drivin  Steinli  von  Slang." 

"  De  vorldt  nefer  had  any  such  man, 

He  vights  like  a  sturm  in  its  wrath ; 
You  may  call  me  a  recular  Dutchmann, 

If  he  arn't  like  Goliath  of  Gath. 
lie  ish  pig  ash  de  shiant  0 'Brady, 

More  ash  sefen  feet  high  on  a  string, 
Boot  he  can't  vin  de  hearts  of  my  lady, 
De  lofely  Plectruda  von  Sling." 
(133) 


136 

De  lady  makes  welcome  her  gast  in, 

Ash  he  shtep  to  de  dop  of  de  shtairs;, 
She  look  like  an  angel  got  lost  in 

A  forest  of  autumn-brown  hair. 
Und  a  bower-maiden  said  as  she  tarried : 

"  I  wish  I  may  bust  mit  a  bang ! 
If  id  isn't  a  shame  she  ain't  married 

To  der  her-re-liche  Steinli  von  Slang !" 


He  pows  to  de  cround  fore  de  lady, 

Yhile  his  vace  ish  ash  pale  ash  de  tead ; 
Und  she  vhispers  oonto  him  a  rede, 

Ash  mit  arrow  point  accents  she  said : 
"  You  hafe  long  dimes  peen  dryin  to  win  me, 

You  hafe  vight,  und  mine  braises  you  sing ; 
Boot  I'm  'fraid  dat  de  notion  ain't  in  me." — 

De  lady  Plectruda  von  Sling. 


"  Boot  brafe-hood  teserfes  a  reward,  Sir : 

Dough  you've  hardly  a  chost  of  a  shanse. 
Sankt  Werolf ! — medinks  id  ish  hardt,  Sir, 

I  should  allaweil  lead  you  dis  dance." 
Like  a  bees  yen  it  booz  troo  de  clofer, 

Dese  murmurin  accents  she  flang, 
Vhile  singin,  a  stingin  her  lofer — 

Der  woe-moody  Ritter  von  Slang. 


137 

"  Boot  if  von  ding  you  do,  I'll  knock  under, 

Our  droples  moost  enden  damit ; 
Und  if  you  pull  troo  it, — by  donder ! 

I'll  own  myself  euchred  und  bit. 
I  schvear  py  de  holy  Sanct  Chlody  ! 

Py  mine  honor — und  avery  ding ! 
You  may  hafe  me — soul,  puttons  und  pody, 

Mit  de  whole  of  Plectruda  von  Sling. 


"  Und  dis  ish  de  test  of  your  power : — 

Yhile  ve  shtand  ourselfs  round  in  a  row, 
You  moost  roll  from  de  dop  of  dis  tower 

Down  shtairs  to  de  valley  pelow. 
Id  ish  rough  und  ash  shteep  ash  my  virtue  : 
(Mit  schwanen  shweet  accents  she  sang :) 
"  Tout  dry  if  you  dinks  it  vill  hurt  you, 
Mine  goot  liddle  Hitter  von  Slang." 

An  moormoor  arosed  mong  de  beoples  ; 

In  fain  tid  she  doom  in  her  shcorn. 
Der  votchman  on  dop  of  de  shdeeples 

Plowed  a  sorryfool  doon  on  his  horn. 
Ash  dey  look  down  de  dousand-foot  trepp<5, 

Dey  schveared  dey  vouldt  pass  on  de  ding, 
Und  not  roll  down  de  firstest  tarn  steppe 

For  a  hoondred  like  Fraeulein  von  Sling. 
18 


SBCONDT    PABDT. 


MAt  WAS  Audumn.    De  dry  leafs  vere  bustlin 
Und  visperin  deir  elfin-wild  talk, 

A   Yen  shlow,  mit  his  veet  in  dem  rustlin, 

Herr  Steinli  coomed  out  for  a  walk. 
Wild  clocks  vly  afar  in  de  gloamin, 

He  hear  a  vaint  gry  vrom  de  gang ; 
Und  vished  he  vere  off  mit  dem  roamin — 

De  heart-wounded  Hitter  von  Slang. 

Und  ash  he  vent  musin  und  shbeakin, 

He  see,  shoost  aheat  in  his  vay, 
In  sinkular  manner  a  streakin, 

An  strange  liddle  pein,  in  cray, 
Who  toorned  on  him  quick  mit  a  holler, 

Und  cuttin  a  dwo-bigeon  ving, 
Gried :  "  Say — can  you  change  me  a  thaler, 

0,  guest  of  de  Lady  von  Sling  ?" 

De  knight  vas  a  goot  nadured  veller, 

(De  peggars  all  knowed  him  at  sight,) 
So  he  forked  out  each  groschen  und  heller 

Dill  he  fix  de  finances  aright. 
Boot  shoost  ash  de  liddle  man  vent,  he 

(Der  Hitter)  astonished,  cried  "  Dang  !" 
For  id  vasn't  von  thaler  boot  twenty 

He'd  bassed  on  der  Hitter  von  Slang. 
(138) 


139 

Oh  reater ! — soopose  soosh  a  vlight  in 

De  vingers  of  me,  or  of  you, 
How  we'd  toorned  on  our  heels  und  gon  kitin 

Dill  no  von  vas  left  to  pursue  I 
Goot  Lort ! — how  we'd  froze  to  de  ready  I 

Boot  mit  him  'dvas  a  different  ding ; 
For  he  vent  on  de  high,  moral  steady, 

Dis  lofer  of  Fraeulein  von  Sling:. 


Und  dough  no  von  vill  gife  any  gredit 

To  dis  part  of  mine  dale,  shdill  ids  drue, 
He  drafelled,  ash  if  he  vould  dead  it, 

Dis  liddle  oldt  man  to  pursue. 
Und  loudly  he  after  him  hollers, 

Till  de  vales  mit  de  differs  loud  rang, 
"  You  hafe  gifed  me  nine-ten  too  moosh  dollars — 

Hold  hard  1"  cried  de  Ritter  von  Slang. 

De  oldt  man  ope  his  eyes  like  a  casement, 

Und  laidt  a  cold  hand  on  his  prow, 
Denn  mutter  in  ootmosdt  amazement: 

"  Yot  manner  of  mordal  art  dou  ? 
I  hafe  lifed  in  dis  world  a  yar  tausend, 

Und  nefer  yed  met  soosh  a  ding ; 
Yet  you  find  it  hart  vork  to  pe  spouse  und 

Peloved  py  de  Lady  von  Sling  1 
6 


140 

"  Und  she  vant  you  to  roll  from  de  tower 

Down  shteps  to  yon  rifulet  shpot." 
(Here  de  knight  whom  amazement  o'erbower 

Gried  "  Himmelspotzpumpenherr  Gott!") 
Boot  de  oldt  veller  saidt:  "I'll  arrange  it. 

Let  your  droples  und  sorrows  co  hang! 
Und  no  dings  vill  coom  to  derange  it, 

Pet  high  on  it,  Hitter  von  Slang." 


"  So  get  oop  dis  small  oonderstandin ; 

Dat  to-morrow  py  ten — do  you  hear  ? — 
You'll  pe  mit  your  trunk  on  de  landin; 

I'll  pe  dere  on  hand,  nefer  fear. 
Und  I  dink  ve  shall  make  your  young  voman 

A  new  kind  of  meloty  sing; — 
Dat  vain,  vicked,  cruel,  unhuman, 

Gott  tamnaple  Fraeulein  von  Sling  I" 

De  fiolet  shdars  vere  apofe  him, 

Vhite  moths  und  vhite  dofes  shimmered  round, 
All  nature  seemed  seekin  to  lofe  him, 

Mit  perfume  und  vision  und  sound. 
De  liddle  oldt  feller  hat  fanished 

In  a  harp-like  melotious  twang ; 
Und  mit  him  all  sorrow  vas  panished 

Afay  from  der  Steinle  von  Slang. 


THIEDT    PAEDT. 

ID  vas  morn,  und  de  vorldt  hat  assemplcd 
Mit  panners  und  lances  und  dust, 
Boot  de  heart  of  de  Paroness  trempled, 

Und  ofden  her  folly  she  cussed. 
For  she  found  dat  der  Hitter  vould  do  it, 

Und  "  die  or  get  into  de  Ring;" 
Und  denn  she'd  pe  cerdain  to  rue  it, 
Aldough  she  vas  Lady  von  Sling. 

For  no  man  in  Deutschland  stood  higher 

Dan  he  mit  de  Minnesing  crew ; 
He  vas  friendet  to  Heini  von  Steier, 

Und  Wolfram  von  Eschenbach  too. 
Und  she  dinked  ash  she  look  from  de  vinders, 

How  herzlich  his  braises  dey  sang ; 
"JS"ow  dey '11  knock  my  goot  name  indo  flinders 

For  killin  der  Ritter  von  Slang." 

Boot  oh  !  der  goot  knight  had  a  schauer, 

Und  felt  most  ongommonly  queer, 
Yen  he  find  on  de  dop  of  de  dower 

De  gray  man  pesite  him  appear. 
Den  he  find  he  no  more  could  go  valkin, 

Und  shtood  shoost  an  petrified  ding, 
Yhile  de  gray  man  vent  round  apout  talkin 

Und  chaffin  Plectruda  von  Sling  1 
(141) 


142 

Den  at  vonce  he  see  indo  de  problum, 

Und  vas  stoggered  like  rats  at  ids  vim  ; 
His  soul  had  gone  indo  de  goblum, 

Und  de  goblum 's  hat  gone  into  him. 
Und  de  eyes  of  de  volk  vas  enchanted, 

Dere  vas  "  glamour  "  oopon  de  whole  gang, 
For  dey  dinked  dat  dis  goblum  vitch  ranted 

So  loose,  vas  der  Ritter  von  Slang. 


Und  Lordt !  how  id  dalked !  Oonder  heafens 

Der  vas  nefer  soosh  derriple  witz, 
Knockin  all  dings  to  sechses  und  sefens, 

Und  gifin  Plectruda  Dutch  fits. 
Mem  Gott !  how  he  poonished  und  chaffed  her, 

Like  a  hell-stingin,  devil-born  ding, 
Yhile  de  volk  lay  a-rollin  mit  laughter 

At  Fraeulein  Plectruda  von  Sling. 

De  lady  grew  angry  und  paler, 

De  lady  grew  rat-full  und  red, 
She  felt  some  Satanical  jailer 

Hafe  brisoned  de  tongue  in  her  head. 
She  moost  laugh  ven  she  vant  to  pe  cryin, 

Und  vas  crushed  mit  de  teufelisch  clang, 
Till  she  knelt  herself,  pootty  near  dyin, 

To  dis  derriple  image  of  Slang. 


143 

Den  der  goblum  shoomp  oop  to  der  cieling, 

Und  trow  sommerseds  round  on  de  vloor, 
Right  ofer  Plectruda,  a-kneelin, 

Dill  she  look  more  a  vool  dan  pefore. 
Denn  he  roll  down  de  shteps  light  und  breezy, 

His  laughs  made  it  all  apout  ring, 
Ash  he  shveared  dere  vas  noding  more  easy 

Dan  to  win  a  Plectruda  von  Sling. 

Und  ven  he  cot  down  to  de  pottom, 

He  laugh  so  to  freezen  your  plood ; 
Und  schwear  dat  de  boomps  ash  he  cot  em 

Hafe  make  him  veel  petter  ash  good. 
Boot — oh — how  dey  shook  at  his  power, 

Ven  he  toorned  himself  roundt  mit  a  bang, 
Und  roll  oop  to  de  dop  of  de  tower 

Vhere  he  change  rnit  de  oder  von  Slang ! 


Den  all  in  an  insdand  vas  altered ; 

Der  Steinli  vas  coom  to  himself; 
Und  de  sprite,  vitch  in  double  sense  paltered, 

From  dat  moment  acain  vas  an  elf. 
Dey  shdill  clinked  dat  von  Slang  vas  de  person 

Who  had  bobbed  oop  und  down  on  de  ving, 
Und  knew  not  who  'tvas  lay  de  curse  on 

De  peaudiful  Lady  von  Sling. 


144 

Nun — endlich — Plectruda — repented, 

Und  gazed  on  der  Bitter  mit  shoy ; 
In  dime  to  pe  married  consented, 

Und  vas  plessed  mit  a  peautiful  poj. 
A  dwenty  gold  biece  on  his  bosom 

Yen  geporn  vas  tiscofered  to  hang, 
Mit  de  inscript — "  Dis  dime  don't  refuse  em."- 

So  endet  de  tale  of  von  Slang. 


To  a  Friend  Studying  German. 

Si  liceret  te  amare, 
Ad  Suevorum  magnum  mare 
Spousam  te  perduccrem. 
[Tristicia  Amorosa.    Frau  Aventiure,  von  J.  V.  Schcffel.~\ 


VILL'ST  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 
Den  set  it  on  your  card 
Dat  all  de  nouns  have  shenders, 
Und  de  shenders  all  are  hard. 
Dere  ish  also  dings  called  pronoms, 
Yitch  ids  shoost  ash  veil  to  know ; 
Boot  ach ! — de  verbs  or  time-words, 
Dey'll  work  you  bitter  woe. 


145 

Yill'st  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 

Denn  you  allatag  moost  go 
To  sinfonies,  sonatas, 

Or  an  oratorio. 
Yen  you  dinks  you  knows  'pout  musik, 

More  ash  any  oder  man, 
Pe  sure  de  soul  of  Deutschland 

Indo  your  soul  ish  ran. 

Yill'st  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 

Dou  moost  eat  apout  a  peck 
A  week  of  stinging  sauer-kraut, 

Und  sefen  pfoundts  of  shpeck; 
Mit  Gott  knows  vot  in  vinegar, 

Und  Deuce  knows  vot  in  rum  : 
Dis  ish  de  only  cerdain  vay 

To  make  de  accents  coom. 


Yill'st  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 

Brepare  dy  soul  to  shtand 
Soosh  sendences  ash  n'er  vere  heardt 

In  any  oder  landt. 
Till  dou  canst  bear  parentheses 

Pe  twisted  ohne  Zahl ; 
Dann  wirst  clu  erst  Deutschfertig  seyn 

For  a  languashe  ideal. 
19 


146 

Yill'st  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 

Du  moost,  mitout  an  fear, 
Trink  efery  tay  a  gallon  dry 

Of  foamin  Sherman  bier. 
Und  de  more  you  trinks,  pe  cerdain, 

More  Deutsch  you'll  surely  pe, 
For  Gambrinus  ish  de  Emberor 

Of  de  whole  of  Germany. 


Yill'st  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 

Pe  sholly,  brav  und  treu, 
For  dat  veller  ish  kein  Deutscher 

Who  ish  not  a  sholly  poy ; 
Find  out  vot  means  Gemiithlichkeit, 

Und  try  it  mitout  fail, 
In  Sang  und  Klang  dein  Lebenlang, 

A  heart,  ganz  kreuzfidel. 

Yill'st  dou  learn  de  Deutsche  Sprache  ? 

If  a  shendleman  dou  art, 
Denn  shdrike  right  into  Deutschland, 

Und  get  a  shveetesheart 
From  Schwabenland  or  Sachsen, 

Yhere  now  dis  writer  pees, 
Und  de  bretty  girls  all  wachsen 

Shoost  like  aepples  on  de  drees. 


147 

Boot  if  dou  bee'st  a  lady, 

Denn  on  de  oder  hand, 
Take  a  blonde  moustachioed  lofer, 

In  de  vine-green  Sherman  land. 
Und  if  you  shouldt  kit  married, 

Vood  mit  vood  soon  makes  a  vire : 
0  denn  you'll  find  de  Dutch  vill  coom 

Ash  fast  as  you  desire. 


Love  Song. 


OVERE  mine  lofe  a  sugar-powl, 
De  fery  shmallest  loomp 
Youldt  shveet  de  seas  from  bole  to  bole, 
Und  make  de  shildren  shoomp. 
Und  if  she  vere  a  clofer-fieldtj 

I'd  bet  mine  only  pence, 
It  vould'nt  pe  no  dime  at  all 
Pefore  I'd  shoomp  de  fence. 
T 


148 

Her  heafenly  foice  it  drill  me  so, 

It  really  seems  to  hoort ; 
She  ish  de  holiest  anamile 

Dat  roons  oopon  de  dirt. 
De  re'nbow  rises  ven  she  sings, 

De  sonn  shine  ven  she  dalk, 
De  angels  crow  und  flop  deir  vings 

Yen  she  goes  out  to  valk. 

So  livin  vhite — so  carnadine— 

Mine  lofe's  gomblexion  glow ; 
It's  shoost  like  abendcarmosine 

Rich  gleamin  on  de  shnow. 
Her  soul  makes  plooshes  in  her  sheek, 

As  sommer  reds  de  wein, 
Or  sonlight  sends  a  fire-life  troo 

An  blank  karfunkelstein. 


De  ueberschwengliche  idees 

Dis  lofe  put  in  my  mind, 
Yould  make  a  foostrate  philosoph 

Of  any  human  kind. 
'Tis  shuderend  sweet  on  eart'  to  meet 

An  himmlisch-hoellisch  qual, 
Und  treat  mit  whiles  to  kiimmel  schnapps 

De  Shoenheitsideal. 


GLOSSARY. 


Abendgold,  (German) — Evening  gold. 

AbendsonnenscJiein,  (German)— Evening  sunshine 

Ach Faderland,  &c.,  (German)— 

uOh  Fatherland  how  far  art  thou  ! 
Oh  Time — how  art  thou  long  !" 

Ach  weTi — An  exclamation  of  pain. 

AUataff,  (German)— Everv  clay. 

Allaweil,  (German)— Always ;  also  whilst. 

Alles  wird  ewig  zu  eins,  (German)— And  all  for  ever  be 
comes  one. 

Alter  Schwed\  (old  Swede)— A  familiar  phrase,  like  old 
fellow. 

Anamile,  (American)— Animal. 

Annerthalb  Yar,  Anderthalb  GaJir,  (German)— Year  and  a 
half. 

Anti  Word;  Antwort — Answer. 

Antworded,  (German)— Answered. 

Arbeiterlialle — Workingman's  hall. 

Arminius,  (Herman.)— The  Duke  of  the  Chernskans,  and 
destroyer  of  the  Roman  legions  under  Varus,  in  Teu- 
toburg  Forest. 

Aroom,  Ilerum — Around. 

Aitfgetpannt,  (German)— Stretched,  bent. 

Augenblick,  (German)— Twinkling  of  an  eye. 

Aus,  (German) — Out. 

(149) 


150 

Bach,  (German)  —  Brook.  * 

Baender-box  —  Band-box. 

Barrick,  (Pennsylvania  German  for  Berg,}  —  Mountain. 
Barrel-hell  pars  —  Parallel  bars  ;  a  part  of  the  gymnastic 

apparatus. 
Bc-gJiostet,  (German,  Begeistert]  —  Inspired. 


Begreifen,  (German)  —  Understand. 

Beheaded,  (German,  Behauptet)  —Asserted. 

Bei  Leib  und  Leben,  (German)  —  By  my  body  and  soul. 

Bekannt  Beknown  —  Known. 

Be-mark,  (German  Bemerken  )—  Observe. 

Bemarks,  (German,  Bimerkungen')  —  Remarks. 

Bemerkbar,  (German)    Observable.     (Should  be  noticed.) 

Bemoost,  (German)  —  Mossgrowii  ;  in  student's  language, 

ein  bemooste  Ilaupt,  an  old  student. 
Bender,   (American)  —  A  spree;    a  frolic.     To   "go  on  a 

bender"  —  to  go  on  a  spree. 
Be-raised,  Raised,  with  the  augment,  literal  for  German 

erhoben. 

Berauscht,  (German)  —  Intoxicated. 
Besoffen,   (German)  —  Drunk. 
Bestimmung  des  Menschen  —  Vocation  of  Man.      One  of 

Fichte's  works. 

Bewises,  (German  Beweist,  from  Beweisen)  —  Proves. 
Bibliothek  —  Library. 
Bix,   Buchse,    (box)—  Rifle.     Bess  in  Brown   Bess  is  the 

equivalent  of  the  German  Buchse,  (Brown  being  merely 

an  alliterative  epithet;)  French,  buse  tube;  Flemish, 
'  buis.     (Still  found  in  blunderbuss,   arquebuss.)     See 

Blackley's  "  Word  Gossip." 
Blaetter,  (German)  —  Leaves. 
Blei—  Lead. 

Blitz,  (German)—  Lightning. 
Blitzen,  German)  —  Lightning. 
Blokes,  (English)  —  Men. 
Bock—  A  strong  kind  of  German  beer. 
Boemisch  —  Bohemian. 
Bole  Jack  road  —  Near  Murfreeshoro',  Tennessee. 


151 


Bornirtheit  —  Limitedness  of  capacity. 
Bountiee,    (American)  —  Bounty-money    paid   during  the 
war  as  a  premium  to  soldiers.     To  jump  the  bounty, 
was  to  secure  the  premium  and  then  run  away. 
44  This  is  the  song  of  Billy  Jones, 
Who  jumped  the  boun-ti-ee.n 

American  Ballad  of  1864. 

Bowery—  A  street  in  New  York,  inhabited  principally  by 
Germans. 

Brav,  (German)  —  Good. 

Breit,  (German)  —  Broad. 

Bring  it  down  to  dots  —  Reduce  it  to  figures. 

Brisner  —  Prisoner. 

Broosfi-pinder  —  Brushbinder,  (German,  Buersteribinder}  — 
Brushmaker.  The  brushmakers  are  supposed,  prob 
ably  on  account  of  their  throat-parching  business,  to 
be  always  thirsty. 

Brummed,  (German,  Crummer}  —  To  make  a  growling, 
deep  bass  sound. 

Bummer,  (American)  —  Alow  fellow;  applied,  during  the 
late  civil  war  in  the  United  States,  to  hangers-on  of 
the  army  ;  probably  a  corruption  of  the  German  bumm- 
ler,  (loafer.) 

Bumming—  From  Bummer. 

BushwJiackers  —  Guerillas. 

Bust  his  shell,  (American)  —  Broke  his  head. 

Butterbrod,  (German)  —  Buttered  bread. 

By  —  Nearly  ;  Beinahe  —  Almost,  nearly. 

Came  —  Game. 

Canyon,  (Spanish,  Canon)  —  A  narrow  passage  between 
high  precipitous  banks,  formed  by  mountains  or  table 
lands,  often  with  a  river  running  beneath.  These 
occur  in  the  great  Western  prairies,  in  New  Mexico, 
and  California. 

Carmosine,  (German)  —  Crimson.     French  —  Cramoisie. 

Carnadine  —  Incarnadine.     Deep  pink  or  blood  red. 

Change  their  lodge—  Shift  from  one  "  society"  to  another. 


152 

Chroc — An  Alemannic  hero,  wlio  ravaged  Gaul.     Spoken 

of  by  Gregory,  of  Tours,  as  Chrocus. 
Chunk — A  short  thick  piece  of  wood,  or  of  anything  else  ; 

a  chump.     The  word  is  provincial  in  England  and 

colloquial  in  the  United  States. 
Cinder,  Suende — German  for  sins. 
Comedy — Committee. 
Conradin — The  last  of  the  imperial  house  of  the  Hohen- 

staufen — beheaded  at  Naples,  in  12G8. 
Coot — (To  cut)  a  dash,  (to  come  out  a  "swell,")  to  dress 

extravagantly. 
Coster — The  inventor  of  the  art  of  printing,  according  to 

the  Dutch. 
Crate — Great. 
Crislies — Grisly,  (bear.) 
Da  ist  erf  Schauf— There  he  is  !  look  ! 
Damit,  (German) — By  that. 
Das  war  des  Breitmann' s  Noth,  (German") — That  was  Breit- 

mann's  need  or  fatal  extremity.     Imitated   from  the 

last  line  of  Dcr  Nibelungen  Lied. 
Deck — The  cards  used  in  a  game. 
Demperanceler,  Temperenzler — Temperance  man. 
De  Sclianlieitsideal,  (German) — The  ideal  of  beauty. 
Dessaueriiin — A  woman  from  Dessau. 
Deutsclifertig,  (German)  —  German-ready.      A    burlesque 

word.     "Then  you  will  be  German-ready  for  an  ideal 

perfect  language." 
Deutschland — Germany. 

Die  wile,  es  mohte  leben,  (Old  German,  or  Middle  High  Ger 
man  of  the  llth  century) — During  all  its  life: — 
**  Daz  wolde  er  immer  dienen 
Die  wile  er  mohte  leben." 

Kutrun,  xv  a  vent,  756  verse. 
Dink—  He,  they  think  ;  my  dinks — my  thoughts. 
Dinked — He,  they  thought. 
Dishtriputet — Instead  of  attributed. 
Dissembulatiri* — Dissembling. 
Dissolfed— Instead  of  resolved. 
Delusion — Instead  of  allusion. 


153 

Donnered,  (German) — Thundered. 

Donnerwetter,  (German) — Thunder  and  lightning. 

Dooks — Ducks. 

Doon — Tune. 

Doonderblix — Thunder  and  lightning. 

Drawed  he  in — (Literal  rendering  of  the  German  Zog  er  eiri) 

— Einziehen,  to  take  up  one's  abode  with. 
Dreimal,  (German) — Three  times. 
Drocks — Drakes,  dragons;  (German) — Drachen. 
Druckerei,  (German) — Printing  office^ 
Du  bist  ein  Musikant — Thou  art  a  musician. 
Dummehrlichkeit,  (German)— Honest  simplicity. 
Eberschwein,  (German) — Wild  boar. 
Einander  to  spreehen  mit,  (German)— To  speak  together. 
JSldern,  (German,  Elterri) — Parents. 
Elders,  (German,  Eltern) — Parents. 
Elferibein,  (German) — Ivory. 

Emerich—K\ng  Emerich,  hero  of  a  German  legend. 
Emsig  yruebler,  (German) — Assidious  inquirer ;   plodding 

old  fogy. 

Enticing,  (German) — Along. 
Erfounden,  (German,  Erfunden)—  Invented. 
Ergeben,  (German) — Given  over. 
ErMthaft,  (German) — Earnest. 
Error -dom,  Irrthum— Error. 
Erstarrt,  (German) — Aghast. 
Erstaunislied,  erstaunt — Astonished  ! 
Erwaitin\  (German,  Erwartend) — Awaiting,  expecting. 
Euchred — From  Euchre,  a  Western  game  of  cards. 
Fackel  Tanz,  (German) — Torch  dance. 
Fancy  crabs— Fast  horses. 

Fanes,  Wetterfahnen— Weathercocks,  (double  entente. ) 
Fass,  (German) — Barrel. 
Fat— Printer's  term. 
Feldwebel,  (German) — A  sergeant. 
FichU — German  philosopher. 
Fimter,  (German)— Dark,  dismal. 
Foil— To  fall. 
Fool— Full. 

20 


154 

Foon — Fun. 

Poors — First. 

Fore-by — Literal  translation  of  the  German  Vorbei. 

Fore-lying — Literal  translation  of  Vorliegend. 

Foreschlag,  (German,  Vorsclilag} — Proposal. 

Foresetzen — To  set,  put  (lay)  before  an  audience. 

Frau,  (German) — Woman. 

Frew,  (.German) — Free. 

Freiscliarlinger,  (German,  FreiscJiaerler} — A  member  of  a 

free  corps  ;  especially  applied  to  those  who  belonged 

to  the  Free  Corps  formed  in  Southern  Germany  during 

the  revolution  in  1848. 
Freischuetz,  (German) — Free  shot ;  one  who  shoots  with 

charmed  bullets ;  the  name  of  Karl  Maria  Von  Weber's 

celebrated  opera. 
Friederich  Rothbart — Frederic  Barbarossa,  the  great   em- 

Eeror  of  Germany,  and  one  of  the  German  Legendary 
eroes.     He  is  supposed  to  sleep  in  the  Kyffnauser  in 

Thuringia,  and  to  awaken  one  clay,  when  he  will  bring 

great  glory  over  Germany. 
Frolic — Frohlich,  merry. 
Froze  to  de  ready — Held  fast  to  the  money. 
Fullenden,  (German,  Vollenden) — To  finish,  perfect. 
Fuss,  (German) — Foot. 
Fust — The  partner  of  Gutemberg,  the  inventor  of  the  art 

of  printing. 
Gambrinus—A.  mythical  king  of  Brabant,  supposed  to  have 

been  the  inventor  of  beer. 
Gandertate — Candidate. 
Ganz,  (German) — Entirely. 
Ganz  und  gar,  (German) — Altogether ;  all  over. 
Gast,  (German) — Guest. 
Gauer — Vallies. 
Gaul  dern — A  Yankee  oath. 
Gauner-sprache,  (German) — Thieves'  language. 
Ge-birt\  (German,  Geburt)—  Birth. 
Ge-bildet — Built,  with  the  German  augment. 
Geborn — Born,  with  the  augment. 
Ge-brudert,  (formed  like  ge-schwister.)— Brothers. 


155 

Oeh  hin  mem  Puck,  (Gorman  of  IGth  century  ) 

Gehst  nit  mil  rechtcn  Dingen  zu—  Dost  not  clo  it  by  anv 

•   natural  means  ;  there  is  witchcraft  in  it. 
Gekommene—  Arrived,  (newly  arrived.) 
Gekommcn  so,  (German)—  Come  thus. 
Gelbschnabel,  (German)—  Yellow  bill,  (t.  e.  soft  )     Mem 

ing  a  "  greenhorn." 
Gelt,  (German,  Geld)  —  Money. 

Gemuthlichkeit,  (German)—  Good  nature;  a  cheerful  tone 
of  mind. 


. 

t,  (German,  Gantebrust)—  Goose-breast. 
&0-r0o«taZ—  Roasted,  with  German  augment. 
Gesembled—  Assembled,  with  the  augment  of  the  German 

preterite. 

Oeshmasht—  Smashed,  with  German  augment. 
Gespicked,  (German)—  Larded. 

Gestolden  und  bekannt,  (German)—  Stolen,  and  known 
Gesundheit,  (German)—  Health. 
Gesangrerein,  (German)—  Singing-society. 
Qeskosttt—CoBt,  with  the  German  augment. 
Gilt—  In  the  ordinary  sense,   and  also  in  the  same  ver^e 

"gilt      implying  the   meaning  of  the   German  verb 

gelten,    to  be  worth  something  and  guilt. 
GlauUes,  (German)—  Believe  it. 
Glee-wine,  Gluhwein  —  Hot  spiced  wine. 
Glueck,  (German)  —  Luck. 
Qtitcky,  (German,  Gluecklich)  —Lucky. 
Goblum  —  For  goblin. 
Gool—Cool. 

Go  screech,  GescJirei—  Bawling,  clamour. 
Gott-full,  goUvoll—GloriouB,  divine. 
GottaUmachty,  (German,  &ottallmach(ig)—Qo&  Almighty 
Gotteshaut,  (German)—  House  of  God.' 
Gottwciss,  (German)—  Heaven  knows! 
Gottsdonnerkreuzscliockschwerenoth,  (German)—  Another  va 

riety  of  big  swearing. 
GotVs-doonder,  (German,   Got?  8  Donner}—  God's  thunder. 

See  also  GoW  s  tausend,  a  thundering  sort  of  oath,  but 

never  preceded  by  lightning,  for  it  is  only  used  as  a 


156 

kind  of  expletive  to  express  great  surprise,  or  to  give 
great  emphasis  to  words  which,  without  it,  would  seem 
to  be  capable  of  none. 

Gottstausend,  (German) — An  abbreviation  of  Gotfs  tausend 
Donner 'wetter,  (God's  thousand  thunders,)  and  there 
fore  the  comparative  of  Gotfs  doonder ;  with  most  of 
those  who  use  it,  a  meaningless  phrase. 

Go  von — Go  one  ;  bet  on  him. 

G  rillers — Guerillas. 

Grod,  gerard — Straight. 

Gross,  (German) — Great. 

GuestfriendUick,  gastfreundlicTi — Hospitable. 

Gummi  lasticum — India  Rubber. 

Gutemberg — The  inventor  of  the  art  of  printing. 

Guve — Southern  slang  for  give.  Guv,  for  give,  is  also 
English  slang  as  well  as  American. 

Gyrotwistivfi—Sn  aky . 

Hand-shoe,  (German,  HandscJiuTi) — Glove. 

Hanscrl,  (German) — Jacky. 

Hans  Wurst — Merry  Andrew  ;  Zani ;  Jack  Pudding — the 
latter  word  being  a  literal  translation  of  the  German 
Hans  Wurst  ;  the  pudding  in  either  case  referring  to 
the  sausages,  or  the  pretended  sausages,  which  the 
Merry  Andrew  always  appeared  to  be  swallowing  by 
the  yard  or  fathom.  See  Blacklegs  Word  Gossip. 

Hagel!  Blitz!  Kreuz  Sakrament!  (German) — Another 
variety  of  swearing. 

Haul  te  pot — Take  the  stakes. 

Hause — House. 

Heavy — Hood. 

Hegel — Name  of  the  German  philosopher. 

Heine,  Heinrich — German  poet. 

Heini  von  Steier — Heinrich  von  Opterdingcn. 

Heldenbuch — Is  the  title  of  a  collection  of  epic  poems,  be 
longing  to  the  cycle  of  the  German  Saga. 

Heller  Glorie  schein — Bright  gloriole. 

Heller,  ( German) — Farthing. 

Hereauf,  hierauf — Thereupon . 

Herout,  (German,  Heraiis) — Out. 


157 

Herrlich,  (German)— Noble  ;  lordly. 

llerr  Je,  (German,) — An  abbreviation  of  Ilerr  Jems  (O 
Lord  !)  ;  generally  used  only  by  those  who  are  Ibnd  of 
meaningless  exclamations. 

Ilexerei — Witchery,  sorcery. 

Hertszcn—Revzcn  ;  hearts. 

Hertzhog,  Ilerzog,  (German) — Duke. 

Herzlicli,  (German)— Heartily  ;  cordially. 

Hirnmel,  ( German) — Heaven. 

Uimmels-Potz-Puinpen-HerrgoU—k.  mild  sort  of  a  German 
imprecation,  untranslatable. 

Himmlueh-hodKich  qual,  (German)— Heavenly-hellish  pain. 

Hobbiness— Happiness. 

Hoelliscli,  ( Germ  an )  — Hell  ish . 

Honey  fooliii1 ,  Iloneyfuygle — Is  believed  to  be  English  slang. 
In  America  it  means  blarneying,  deceiving. 

Hoockle  perry,  Persimmoned  — u  A  huckleberry  over  my 
persimmon."  Surpassed  ;  outdone. 

Hoof-irons,  (Iluf-eisen  in  German)— Horse-shoe. 

Hop-sossa,  (German)  int. — Hop  ;  heyday. 

Hundsfott,  (German  Vulg.}—  Mean  scoundrel ;  hound. 

Hunk,  (American)— Stout,  solid,  profitable. 

/  Gili  romaneskro.  This  song  is  written  in  the  German - 
Gipsy  dialect.  E1C  in  the  third  line  of  the  second 
verse  is  the  German  word  ehe,  (ere  or  before.)  Kuri- 
bente,  (in  war,)  is  in  the  Slavonic  and  Gipsy  local  case, 
or  as  Pott  calls  it-(Z)^  Zigeimen  in  Europa  und 
Asia)— The  second  dative.  Pasputi,  following  Puch- 
mayer,  calls  it  the  first  dative,  as  e  rakleste  "in  the 
child." 

1m  gruenen  Wald,  (German)— In  the  green  wood. 

1m  Oaken  Wald,  (German)— In  the  oak  wood. 

In  nomine  Doinine,  (Latin) — In  the  name  of  the  Lord  ; 
"In  nomine  Domine  ! 
Was  Hero  Ilagen's  word." 

In  Sang  und  Klang  dein  Lebenlang.  In  song  and  music  all 
thy  life. 

Jeff,  (printer's  phrase)— A  game  played  by  throwing  up 
types  and  counting  the  nicks. 


158 

Joss-stick — A  name  given  to  small    reeds,  covered  with 

the  dust  of  odoriferous  woods,  which  the  Chinese  burn 

before  their  idols. 
Jours — Journeymen. 

Jungfernkranz,  (German) — Bridal  garland. 
Kcenig  Etzel — King  Attila. 
Kaiser  Karl — Charlemagne. 
Kali,  (German)— Cold. 
Kanaster,  (German) — Canaster  tobacco. 
Karfunkelstein,  (German)— Carbuncle. 
Kartoffell,  (German)— Potato. 
Kauder-  Waelsch,  (German) — Gibberish. 
Kellner,  (German) — Waiter. 
Kinder,  (German) — Children. 
Kitin,  a  kitin — Flying  or  running  rapidly. 
Knasterbart,  (German) — Literally,  tobacco-beard  ;  a  tough, 

old  bearded,  old-fashioned  fellow. 
Kneiperei,   (German ) — lie  vol. 
Knock  dem  out  de  shpots — Knock  the  spots  out    of  them  ; 

astonish. 
Komm  maidelein!    Rotlie  Waengelein,    (German) — Come, 

maiden,  red  cheeks. 
Kop,  (German  Kopf) — Head. 
Kreutzer, — Fr.    Creutzer,    distinguished  professor  in    the 

University  of  Heidelberg,  author  of  a  great  work  on 

"Symbolik." 
Kreuzfidel,  (German) — True-hearted  ;  gallant  in  the  highest 

degree.  - 
Krumm,  (German) — Crooked.     Breit  und  Krumm — Broad 

and  crooked.     Here,  a  pun  on  bride  and  groom. 
Kummel,  (German)  Cumin  brandy. 
Kummel Kimmel,  (German)— Schnapps;  dram. 
Lager,  Lagerbeer,  (German  Lagerbier,  i.  e.  Stockbeer.) 
Lager  Wirthschafl,  (German) — Beerhouse. 
Lam — To  drub  ;  to  beat  soundly. 
LateiniscJi — Latin. 
Lauglien,  laclien — Laughing. 
Lavergne — A  place  between  Nashville  and  Murfreesboro', 

in  the  State  of  Tennessee. 


159 

Lebenlang,  (German) — Lifelong. 
Leider,  Leids,  (German) — Sonjrs. 

Libby — The  notorious  Confederate  prison  at  Richmond,  Va. 
Liddle  Pills — Legislative  enactments. 
Liederkram,  ( German) — Glee-union. 
Licderlicli,  (German) — Loose,  reckless,  dissolute. 
Lighthood,  (German  Lichtheif) — Liclit. 
Like  spiders  down  tJieir  webs — Breitmann's  soldiers  are  sup 
posed  to  have  been  expert  turners  or  gymnasts. 
Loafer— A.  term  which,  considered  as  the  German  pronun 
ciation  of  lover,  is  a  close  translation  of  rom,  as  this 
latter  means  both  a  Gipsy  and  a  husband. 
Loosty,  (German  Lustig)  —Jolly  :  merry. 
Los,  los  gehen,  (German) — To  go  at  a  thing,  at  somebody. 
Loudet,  (I^auten  in  German) — To  make  sound. 
Lump,  (German) — Ragamuffin. 

Lumpenglocke,  (German)— An    abusive   term    applied   to 
bells,  especially  to  those  which  give  the  signal  that  the 
beer  houses  must  close. 
Maedchen,  (German) — Girl ;  maiden. 
Makana,  (Gipsy,  Ma  akana} — But  now. 
*'  Make  de  red  cock  crow" — u  To  set  the  red  cock  on  the 
roof,"  signifies  in  German,  to  seta  man's  house  on  fire. 
Marmorbild— Marble  statue. 
Markgracfler — A  pleasant  light  wine  grown  in  the  Duchy 

of  Baden. 

Maskenzug,  (German)— Procession  of  masked  persons. 
Massenvermmmlung,  (German) — Mass  meeting. 
Mein  Freund — My  Friend. 
Meine  Seel\  (German) — By  my  soul. 
Mineted — Min  d  ed . 

Minnesinger — Poet  of  love  ;  a  name  given  to  German  lyric 
poets,  who  flourished  from  the  twelfth  to   the  four 
teenth  centuries. 
Mit  hoontin  knife,  &c. — 

44  With  her  white  hands  so  lovely 
Sin;  dug  the  Count  his  grave, 
From  her  dark  eyes  sad  weeping, 
The  holy  water  she  gave." 

(Old  German  ballad.) 


160 

Mitout— Without 

Mitternocht,  Mitternacht — Midnight. 

Mitter night,  Mitternacht — Midnight. 

Mitz  havf,  (German) — Dung-hill. 

Moleschott— Author  of  a  celebrated  work  on  Physiology. 

Morgan— 3o\\\\  Morgan,  a  notorious  Confederate  guerilla 
during  the  late  war  in  America. 

Morgen-hct-ache — Morning  headache. 

Moskopolite — (American) — Cosmopolite. 

Murmulte — Murmured. 

Mutter,   (German) — Mother. 

Nieblungen  Lied— The  lay  of  the  Nieblungen  ;  the  great 
German  national  epos. 

Nix,  (German,  Nwhts)— Nothing. 

Nix  cum  raus — Had  not  come  out. 

Norate — To  speak  in  an  oration. 

No  sardine— Not  a  narrow-minded,  small-hearted  fellow. 

Noth,  (German)— Need,  dire  extremity.  Das  war  des 
Breitmann's  noth.  That  was  Breitmann's  sore  trial. 
Imitated  from  the  last  line  of  the  Niebelungen  Lied. 

Nun — Now. 

Nun-endich,  (German)— Well,  at  last. 

0' Brady — An  Irish  giant  commemorated  in  a  once  popular 
song. 

Oder— Other. 

Odenwald—A.  thickly-wooded  district  in  South  Germany. 

OJme  Zhal,  (German) — Without  number. 

On-belongs — Literal  translation  of  Zugthort. 

On-did,  to  on-do — Literal  translation  of  the  German  an 
them  ;  to  dun,  to  put  on. 

On  de  snap—A.\\  at  once. 

Onfang,  (German,  Anfang} — Beginning. 

Oonslipeakbarly,  (German,  unanssprechbarlich} — Inexpres 
sibly. 

Oonendly — Undenlich. 

Oop-gedeared,  (German,  A ufgeTdaert}  —  Enlightened. 

Oopright-hood,  (German,  Aufrichtigkeit}— Uprightness. 

Ooprighty,  (German,  Aufrichtig) — Upright. 

Oopshtardet,  (German,  Aufgescharft) — Upstarted.    . 


161 

Oop-*proong — For  auf sprung. 

Orgel-ion,  (German) — Organ  sound. 

Orkester— Orchestra. 

Out-sprach — Outspoke. 

Out-signed,  (German,  ausgezeiclmete) — Distinguished,  sig 
nal. 

Over  again — Uebringen — The  remainder  ;  a  rest. 

Pabst,  Der  Pabst  lebt,  fyc.— "  The  Pope  he  leads  a  happy 
life,"  &c.,  beginning  of  a  popular  German  song. 

Peeps — People.  "Hard  on  the  American  peeps" — a 
phrase  ibr  anything  exacting  or  severely  pressing. 

Pelznickel,  Nick,  Nickel ! — St.  Nicolas  is  supposed,  on  the 
night  preceding  his  name-day,  the  sixth  of  December, 
to  pass  over  the  house-tops  on  his  long-eared  steed, 
having  baskets  suspended  on  either  side  filled  with 
sweets  ond  playthings,  and  to  drop  down  through 
the  chimneys  presents  for  those  children  who  have 
been  good  during  the  year,  but  birch-rods  for  those 
who  have  been  naughty,  would  not  go  to  bed  early,  or 
objected  to  being  washed,  &c.  In  the  expectation  of 
his  coming,  the  children  put,  on  the  eve  of  St.  Nicolas 
day,  either  a  shoe,  or  a  stocking,  or  a  little  basket  into 
the  chimney-piece  of  their  parents'  bed-room.  We 
may  remark,  by  the  way,  that  St.  Nicolas  is  the  Chris 
tian  successor  of  the  heathen  Nikudr,  of  ancient  Ger 
man  mythology.  In  America  he  has  become  confused 
with  Christkinder  and  Christkinkel. 

Pesser,  besser,  (German) — Better. 

Pestain— Stain,  with  the  augment. 

Pfaelzer — A  man  from  the  Rhenish  Palatinate. 

Pfeil,  (German)— Arrow. 

Philosopede — Velocipede. 

Pie  the  forms— Break  up  and  scatter  the  forms  of  type. 

Pig-sticker,  (American)— Bowie-knife,  or  indeed,  any  other 
kind  of  knife. 

Pile  out,  (American) — Hurry  out. 

Plue  goats— Blue  coats  ;  soldiers. 

Plug  muss,  (American  Fireman)— A  fight  around  a  fire 
plug. 

21 


162 

PokoSL,  (Pocnlnm)— Goblet. 

Poker— A.  favorite  game  of  cards  among  Western  gamblers. 
Poonkin — Pumpkin. 

Potzausend  !     Was  ist  das  f— Zounds  !    What  is  that  ? 
Potzblitz,  (German) —  int.,  The  deuce. 
Poulterie — Poultry. 
Poussiren — To  court. 

Pretzel,  (German) — A  kind  of  fancy  bread,  twist  or  the  like. 
Prezackly — Precisely,)  exactly. 
Protocollirt,  protocolliren — To  register,  record. 
Pumpernickel — A  heavy,  hard  sort  of  rye-bread. 
Pye — To  buy. 

Raushlin\  rauschend — Rustling. 
Reb — An  abbreviation  of  rebel. 
Redakteur— Editor. 
'Rede,  (German) — Speech. 
Rede,  (German) — Speech. 

Red-  WaeUch,  Roth-Wae  sell,  (German) — Thieves' language. 
Reiter,  (German) — Rider. 

RheinweinbecJiers  Klang — The  Rhine  wine  goblet's  sound. 
Richter,  (Jean  Paul,  French) — Distinguished  German  au 
thor. 

Ridersmann,  {Reiter  smann  in  German) — Rider. 
Ring — A  political  clique  or  cabal. 
Bitter,  (German)— Knight. 
Roland— One  of  the  paladins  of  Charlemagne. 
Rollin1  locks— Rolling  logs  ;  mutually  aiding. 
Rosen,  (German) — Roses. 
Rouse,  (German  Ileraus) — Out ;  come  out. 
Saclisen — Saxonia,  Saxony. 
Sacrin — Consecrating. 
Sagen  Cydus — Cycle  of  legends. 
Sass,  Sassy,  Sassin'1 — Sauce,  saucy,  &c. 
Sauerkraut,  (German) — Sour  krout. 
Sauerkraut,  (German) — Pickled  cabbage. 
Saw  it — Understood  it. 
Scalterin,  Scotterin — Scattering. 
Schauer,  (German) — Shudder. 
Kchenk  aus,  (German)  Pour  out. 


163 

Schenket  ein,  (German) — Pour  in,  (fill  the  glasses.) 

Schimmel,  (German) — Grey  horse. 

Schimpft  und  fluent  gar  laesterlich,  (German) — Swears  and 
blasphemes  abominally. 

ScMnken,  (German)— Ham. 

Schlager,  (German) — A  kind  of  sword  or  broadsword  ;  a 
rapier  used  by  students  for  duelling  or  fighting  matches. 

Sclilesierwein,  (German) — Wine  grown  in  Silesia,  prover 
bially  sour. 

Schlimmer,  ( German) — Worse. 

Schlishcd,  geschlilzt — Slit. 

Schlop  him  ober  de  hop — Knocked  him  on  the  head. 

Kchlopped — Slopped. 

Schloss,  (German) — Castle. 

Schnapps,  (German) — Dram. 

Schnitz— Pennsylvania  German  word  for  cut  and  dried  fruit. 

Kchniiz,  schnitzen,  (German)— To  chop,  chip,  snip.  In 
Pennsylvania  Schnitz  or  Suits,  is  applied  to  cut  and 
dried  fruit,  apples,  pears,  or  peaches.  It  was,  I  believe, 
Prof.  Henry  Coppee,  who  narrated,  in  Lippincott's 
Magazine,  a  _  story  to  the  effect  that  a  school  teacher 
once  asked  his  class  if  an  apple  were  cut  in  two,  what 
would  the  pieces  be  called?  "Halves,"  replied  the 
boys.  "And  if  cut  again?"  "Quarters."  "And 
then  cut  again?"  "  bnitz,"  was  the  unanimous  an 
swer. 

Schonlieitsideal,  (German) — The  id?al  of  beauty. 

Schopenhauer — A  celebrated  German  4i  philosophical  physi 
ologist." 

Schoppen,  (German) — A  liquid  measure,  chopin,  pint. 

Schwaben — Suabia. 

Schicanen,  (German) — Swans. 

Schwartzer  Mohr,  (German) — A  black  negro.  Mohr  in 
German  is  applied  very  generally  to  both  Moors  and 
negroes. 

Schweinblatt — (Swine)  Dirty  paper. 

Schweitzer  kase,  (German) — Swiss  cheese. 

Schwig,  Swig,  verb — To  drink  by  large  draughts. 

Schwigs,  Swig  noun — A  large  draught. 


164 

Scmysed,  ^German  Schmyssen,  from  Schmeissen}  —  Threw 

him  out  of  doors. 
Scoop  —  Take  in  ;  get. 

Scorched—  Escorted  ;  a  negro  malapropism. 
Scrouged,  (American)  —  Pressed,  jammed. 
Seelen  —  Ideal.     Soul's  ideal. 
Sefen-lefen—  Seven  or  eleven. 
Seifenblasen  —  Soap  balls. 
Seins,  (German)  —  The  Being. 
Selbslanchauungsvermogen,    (German)  —  Capacity  for  self- 

inspection. 

Serenity  —  A  transparency. 
Shanty  —  A  board  cabin  ;  slang  for  house. 
Shapel  —  Chapel  is  an  old  word  for  a  printing-office. 
Shdrmctn,  Sherman  —  German. 
Shings—  Jingo  ;  by  Jingo. 
Shipsy  —  Gipsy. 

Shlide—  Slide.     "Let  it  slide,"  vulgar  for  "  let  it  go." 
Shnow-wice,  (German  Schnee-weis)—  Snow-white. 
Shoopider—  J  upiter. 
Shootin-stick  —  Shooting  stick.     It  is  used  for  closing  np  the 

forms  of  types. 

Show-spiel,  Sckauspiel  —  Play  ;  piece. 
Shpeck  —  Speck,  (German)  —  Bacon. 
Shpicket  —  Spigot  ;  a  pin  or  peg  to  stop  a  small  hole  in  a 

cask  of  liquor. 
Shpoons—  Spoons  ;  plunder. 
Shtuhl,  (German  Stuhl)  —  Stool  ;  chair. 
Sinn,  (German)  —  Meaning. 
Six  mals  —  Six  times. 
Skeeted—  Went  fast  ;  skated  (?) 


Skyugle,  (American)  —  u  Skyngle  "  is  a  word  which  had  a 
short  run  during  18G4.  It  means  many  things,  but 
chiefly  to  disappear  or  to  make  disappear.  Thus  a  de 
serter  "skyugled,"  and  sometimes  he  u  skyugled  a 
coat  or  watch." 

Slanganderin1  —  Foolishty  slandering. 

Slather  gaff's  —  Spurs  for  cocks  with  cutting  edges. 


165 

Slibowitz — A  Bohemian  Schnapps  distilled  from  plums. 
Slop  over — Go  too  far  and  upset  or  spill.     Applied  to  men 

who  venture  too  far  in  a  success. 
Slumgoozlin^ — Slum  or  slum-guzzling  ;  humbug. 
Slumgullion — A  Mississippi  term  for  a  legislator. 
Solidaten,  (German  Soldaten} — Soldiers. 
So  mit,  (German) — Thus  with. 
Sonntags,  (German) — Sundays. 
Sottelet,  (German  Gesattelt)— Saddled. 
Sound  upon  the  goose — A  phrase  originating  in  the  Kansas 

troubles,  and  signifying  true  to  the  cause  of  slavery. 
Souse  and  Brouse,  (German  Saus  und  Braus} — Revelry  and 

rioting. 

Spiel,  (German) — Play. 
Splodderin'1 — Splattering. 
Spook,  (German  Simk) — A  ghost. 
Sporn,  (German) — Spur. 
Sports — Sporting  men. 
Staub,  (German) — Dust. 
Stein,  (German) — Stone. 
Stille^  (German) — Stillness. 
Stim,  (German  Stimme) — Voice. 
Stohr— Store. 

Straight  flush — In  poker,  all  the  cards  of  one  suit. 
Stra&sen,  (German) — Streets. 

Strauss — Name  of  the  celebrated  Viennese  composer. 
Strumpf,  (German) — Stocking. 
Studentenin  den  Gassen,  (German) — Students  in  the  streets 

or  lanes. 

Sturm  und  Drang,  (German) — Storm  and  pressure. 
Siceynheim  und  Pannarts — The  first  printers  at  Rome. 
Takes,  (printer's  phrase) — Allotments  of  copy,  or  strips, 

to  each  printer. 

Tantzen,  (German) — To  dance. 
Tantz,  (German) — Dance. 
Tarnal — Eternal. 
Taub,  taube,  (German) — Dove. 
Taugenix,  Taugenichts— Good-for-nothing  fellow. 
Theil,  (German)— Part. 


166 

Thoom— Thumb. 

Thrip,  (South  American)— Three  pence. 

Thusnelda—The  wife  of  Arminius,  (Hermann.) 

Tod,  (German)— Dead. 

Todtengrips,  Todtengerippe — Skeleton. 

Tofe— Dove. 

To  House,  (German  zu  Hause) — At  home. 

Tortled—To  tortle  ;  to  move  off.     From  turtle. 

Touch  the  dirt — Touch  the  road. 

Treppe,  (German) — Stairs. 

Treu,  (German)— Faithful,  true. 

Trow  him  with  ecks— Pelt  him  with  eggs. 

Turner,  (German)  —Gymnast. 

Turner  Verein,  (German  Tumverein) — Gymnastic  Society. 

Tyfel,  Tevfel— Devil. 

Tyfeled,  Verlevfelt — Devilish. 

Tyfel-zchnake,  Teufelschnaken  —  Deviltries ;  also  devil- 
snake. 

Tyful- striken,   Tevfel-streiche—Vcvilstrokes. 

Tyf  til-wards— ~Devi\\vai'd$. 

Tyfelest—Fiom  Teufel :  here  in  the  sense  of  "best1'  or 
u  worst." 

Uaberschwengliche,    CGerman) — Transcendental ;  elevated. 

Ueber  Stein  and  tichwein,  (German) — Over  stone  and 
swine. 

Ulievrus— Oliver,  another  of  the  twelve  Paladins  of  Char 
lemagne  who  fell  at  Roncesvalles,  (A  Rowland  for  an 
Oliver.) 

Und  lauter  guter  Ding,  (German) — And  of  thoroughly 
good  cheer. 

Urbummellied,  (German  vulgar} — Arch-loafer's  song  ;  a 
student  song. 

Urlied,  (German) — The  song  of  yore. 

Van't  klein  komt  men  toft  groote,  (Dutch) — Great  things 
may  have  small  beginnings.  (Concordia  res  par- 
vae  cresrunt) — Legend  on  the  Dutch  ducats. 

Varus— The  Roman  Commander  in  Germany,  conquered 
by  Arminius. 

Verdammt,  (German)— D d. 


167 

Vcrflucht,  (German)— Accursed. 

Verfluchter,  (German) — Accursed. 

Verslay,  Verstehen — Understand. 

Vertyfeln,  Verteufeln — To  botch. 

Verloren,  (German)— Forlorn. 

Versteh,  verstehen  (German) — To  understand. 

Voonderly,  (German)  Wunderlich — Wondrous  ;  curious. 

Von — One. 

Wachsen,  (German) — Grow  : — 

tk  Komm'ich  in's  pralanteSachsen, 
Wo  di  schcene  Maedchen  wachsen." 

Old  German  Song. 

Waechter,  (German) — Watchman. 

Waelder,  (German) — Woods. 

Wahlverwandtschaft,  (German) — Elective  affinity  ;  sympa 
thy  of  souls. 

Wahrsagt,  (German  Wahrsagen) — To  foretell,  soothsay. 

Wahres  Kunxtgenuss,  (German) — Truly  artistic  enjoyment. 

Waidmanncheil,  (German) — Huntsman's  weal,  or  greeting. 

Ward  al  zu  Steine,  (German) — Became  all  stone. 

Ward  zu  Wind,  (German) — Became  a  wind. 

Wechsebalg,  (German) — A  changeling  ;  brat ;  urchin. 

Weihnachtstbaum,  (German) — Christmas  tree. 

Weiknachtslied,  (German) — Christmas  song. 

Weingeist,  (German) — Vinous  ;  ardent  spirit. 

Wein-handle,  (German    WeinJiandlung} — Wineshop. 

Weinnachtstraum — lit.,  Winenight's  dream;  for  u  Weien- 
acht,"  Christmas  dream. 

Wellen  and  Wogen,  (German) — Waves  and  billows. 

Welshhen— Turkey  hen. 

Werden  das  Werden — The  becoming  to  be. 

We'uns,  you'um — We   and   you.     A   common    vulgarism 
through  the  Southern  States.  , 

'"Tis  sad  that  we,uns  from  you'uns  parts, 
When  you' HUB  have  stolen  we'uns  hearts." 

Wie  qeJits,  (German) — How  goes  it  ?  how  are  you  ? 

WildJagd— Wild  hunt. 

Wildun  weh,  (German) — Wild  and  woe-begone. 

Wilkomm,  (German) — Welcome. 


168 

Windsbraut,  (German  poet)— Storm ;  hurricane;   gust  of 

wind. 

Wird,  (German)— Becomes. 
Wised,  (German  Wusste,  Irom  Wizzen)—  Knew. 
Wits,  (German)— A  sally,  or  witty  saying. 
Wo  list  du  ?  (German)— Where  art  ? 
Woe-moaedy,  (German  WemutMng)— Moanful,  doleful 
WoJil,  (German)--Well  ! 
Wohl  auf!  (German)— Literally   well   up  ;    but  meaning 

"  hey  /  "  or  "  up  there  !  " 
WolfsscJilucht,  (German^)— Wolfs  glen. 
Wonnevol,  (German  Wonnevoll)— Blissful. 
Woon,  (German  Wunde) — Wound. 
Word-May—  Word-play  ;  pun;  quibble. 
Wurst,  (German)— Sausage. 
Wurst  mir  und  egal,—A\\  one  to  me.     Wurst  is  a  German 

student  word  for  indifference. 
Yaeger,  (German)— Huntsmen. 
Yaegersmann,  Faegersmann — Huntsman. 
Yartausend,  Jahrtausend — A  thousand  years. 
Yartausend,  Jahrlausend,  (German)— A  thousand   years. 
Yellow  pine,  (American) — A  mulatto. 
Youngest    Day,    (German)— Juengste  tag.     The    Day  of 

Judgment. 

Yungling,  Jungling,  (German)— Youth. 
Zimmer,  (German) — Boom. 
Zupfet  aus,  (German)— Tap  the  barrel. 


14  DAY  USE 

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